Robbers ~Matty Healy One Shot

Matty's POV I knew i had to let her go, she didn't deserve someone that she would have to sit around and wait for. She deserved a man who would come home to her every night and treat her the way she deserved to be treated, and love her unconditionally and be there for her. And that man wasn't me. I stared out the window of the tour bus as i watched the scenery fly past us for which ever state we are in i have no clue anymore, all i can think about is her. She's consuming my every thought. Everything i do reminds me of her, no matter where we go something there reminds me of her, it's her, her, her and it's driving me crazy because in reality she's not mine anymore. You see I loved her, fuck i still do. I loved her with all of me and everything i had, i tried to give her everything she needed, i tried to love her the way she needed to be loved, but it was just a continous cycle with us, Fight, break up, make up. That's all our realtionship was. We fought about stupid things and never wanted to admit one of us was wrong so we just broke up, but hours later or days later we'd always come back to eachother, but this time, she couldn't come back to me because i'm not physically there. If i was back home right now, i know damn well i would be with her right now begging for forgiveness and getting back with her but i can't, and i know this time may be the actuall end. Love is a good thing but if you fall to hard it the worst thing in the world, It starts robbing you of everything, your mind, your thoughts, you do everything you can to make that person happy even if you're not happy yourself, but i didn't mind having my heart and happiness robbed by her, she was worth it. I was taken from my thoughts as George called out for me at the front of the bus telling me we had arived. I grabbed my coat and exited the bus imediately being swarmed by the fans waiting outside of the venue but being ushered inside by security which i was greatful for because i was in no mental state to deal with the mass of people. I entered the room where the guys were as i just sat on the couch and zoned out being over taken by my thoughts again "I wonder where she is" "i wonder if she found someone else" "i wonder if she's happy with out me or if she's miserable" "I wonder if she would have taken me back this time" " i wonder if she still lo-" "Matty, you need to stop thinking about her and focus on tonights show, biggest gig of the tour man, we need your mind to be here, not back home" "yeah sorry i'm good, Mind here, not home" George gave me a small smile as he patted my shoulder as Adam and Ross followed him to the stage as i slowly followed behind placing a cigarette in my mouth and lighting it. "She would want you to enjoy yourself, she would want you to put on a good show" I finished my cigarette before getting ready to head on stage with the guys. The lights flashed all around from camera flashes to the stage lights, screams engulfing my ears as the guys started to play. I pulled it together and started singing, smiling lightly as the crowd sang back, some crying as well. I just wish she would be here to see this. The time came for a more personal song, and we started doing something new, I took my seat at the key board that had been placed on the stage for me as i started to sing. Part way through the song i could just feel it welling up inside of me and i knew i couldn't hold it together. "I love you don't you mind, don't you mind" My fingers froze above the keys, as my emotions hit my like a brick wall, My eyes began to water as i couldn't hold it in anymore. The crowd went silent as i just placed my head in my hands and cried. The boys had stopped playing and i heard their faint whispers How could i have let someone i love so much go and just walk away without giving a chance for us to happen again. How could i just walk away. I needed her, she's the only one who keeps me sane, makes me happy, makes me feel loved, and she's gone, along with my heart. If anything she deserves my heart, she robbed all of my love along with my heart and i'm going to let her keep them. After composing myself enough to continue i looked up and took a shaky breath before i turn my eyes to the crowd to appoligize and i turned my eyes back to the piano and finished the song as well as the show. The rest of the tour went on like that. The endless thoughts, sleepless nights, shows where i would break down. It all just wasn't worth it to me if i didn't have her, and i didn't. We arrived home after finishing the tour, and as soon as i opened the door to my apartment, all i thought about was her. All of the memories. I shoved my bag in the living room and made my way out of my apartment not wanting to deal with the memories that were flooding my mind. I shoved my hands in my pockets as i walked down the street not knowing where i was going exactly. I watched the couples walking down the street mentally cursing them for being so happy, when i was drowning in my own sadness, But one couple caught my eye. There she stood in all of her beauty, hair falling over her shoulders blowing in the slight breeze, wearing the jacket that she picked out when she went shopping with me, and her typical jeans and boots, smiling and laughing with the man she was walking with. The man that was holding her hand, and may as well had been holding her heart. I stood there as i watched them walk away, watching her walk away, knowing this was the last time i would see her. I began walking aimlessly until i came upon a bench and took a seat. Ignoring the couple that was sitting on the next bench beside me. Seeing her with another man, smiling, happy, it fucking killed me inside, it killed the last bit of me that she hadn't consumed. That's the thing with robbers. They steal everything from you and leave you with nothing or they leave broken or damaged things behind, and that's what she had done to me, she had robbed my heart, my happiness, my every emotion, and left me with nothing but coldness and a broken heart. I was robbed, and i was never getting back what was mine. Including her. ~ORIGINAL ONE SHOT WRITTEN BY MYSELF~ lolurnotmattyhealythe1975