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Inner Workings

@rockandrollandgratitude

infinite gratitude& appreciating the little things~
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I hurt and hurt and hurt

And it will always be my fault

I need to learn to fill myself with myself instead of others. I have never been single. Justin and I decided to end things, which was the right decision but man does it hurt. And I have already filled him with a man twice my age who’s amazing but does not belong. And if I wipe away these men, I am alone.

And I am so fucking afraid to be alone. So I will fill myself with anything I can. If I am not filled, the depression will seep in. I fill myself with sleep. I sleep and sleep because the sadness can’t get me there.

Somebody asked me what my hobby was and the Army was the only thing I could think of. But even being active duty, there’s down time. And when it comes, I panic. I should embrace the free time but freeness leads to fear.

I still want to hurt myself and I still want to die just to see what happens and I still hurt for every person I’ve ever lost and I don’t know if it’ll ever stop. I want to set my skin on fire because that’s been the only way to release this for years and years. There has always been cleansing in the flames. And I still don’t understand why I can’t burn myself but I know it’s not what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to tell someone. I would tell Justin, but he’s not mine anymore.

Being busy has always been good for me but the anxiety of not being busy makes me want to kill myself and I know that can’t be okay. I have some friends and that’s a good thing but I dont have the energy to use them and I have a laundry list of things to do including laundry but I don’t have the energy to do it.

I’m so hurt about Justin. I’m hurt that in hindsight, our relationship wasn’t healthy despite us being so in love. I’m hurt he’s not fighting for me. I’m hurt that I already love someone else. I’m hurt that I already love someone else. I’m hurt that nobody really seems to see me, and that nobody will really care. I know I have a few friends but I don’t know how to use them.

I hurt and hurt and hurt

And it will always be my fault

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marsnmango

The Net Neutrality issue summarized

You (or your parents) pay approx $40-$100 or higher for internet. 

So that you can all use youtube, google, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, etc. etc. etc. This isn’t limited to social media.  

Net neutrality says, “Okay, since you already paid x amount of money for the month, you don’t have to pay for each asset individually. Enjoy your internet.”  NO net neutrality means that your service provider (comcast, at&t, verizon, whatever it may be) gets to say “ACTUALLY, it lines our pockets so give us an extra $5.99 for Youtube, Facebook and Twitter. Oh, but that doesn’t include Tumblr; that comes with our premium package. That’ll be $5.99 on its own as well. Now about your Google docs and email…" 

That’s why it’s important. That’s why I’m spamming Net Neutrality crap. If you’re using the internet, it’s YOUR problem. 

-Email your congressman (text resist to 50409) It’s easy, you don’t have to talk to anyone. 

-Tweet the FCC. https://twitter.com/FCC

-Tweet THIS guy. https://twitter.com/AjitPaiFCC

-CALL. https://www.battleforthenet.com/

-This site does the heavy lifting for you.

-Sign this.  

-Sign this. 

-Email your congressmen (that’s what I’m doing) https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative

-Swim the #NetNeutrality tag on Twitter. Seriously, it’s helpful. 

And lastly, GET THIS TRENDING. It’s trending on Twitter but it needs to trend here too. This is everyone’s issue. 

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anewtart

The film industry is so fucking cold and heartless. Now I’m all seeing are articles like “what will happen to awards season now that men are being accused of sexual harassment and abuse!?!” Like what the fuck?? Women are brave and coming forward about the abuse they suffered and all the fucking film and tv industry cares about is award season??? Who the fuck cares??? Women’s lives and careers and safety are more important than some asshole winning an award he doesn’t deserve

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ink-pedia
www.mywot.com

Hey guys, what’s up? I’m here today to ask you a huge favor. For those who are new here, I’ve had this blog for almost 5 years and I’ve been posting actively since then. Last year facebook and instagram blocked the url of the blog and I’ve been trying to revert this unceasingly, with no luck. I’ve contacted them in several ways, sent tons of messages on their support pages and I haven’t had a single reply. I have no idea  why they blocked it btw. I used to post everyday on facebook too, I had a folder with lots of tattoo meanings but it’s not visible anymore because all the posts had a link to my blog. Anyway, today I found out one of the tools they use to base their criteria of blocking websites and what I would like to ask is: if you like my blog, please go to this page and rate it. You just need to register (you can login with facebook or google), rate it as trustful, check the positive/good site box and leave a small feedback (optional). If you guys could do this that would mean a lot to me and maybe facebook will review it and unblock the blog so I can come back posting there too. Thank you very very much 💖💖💖

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