@sabethas / sabethas.tumblr.com
Sharing this for everyone who stumbles on this post!! Please be safe y'all, def use gloves, mask, and make sure to have good ventilation! Always check the ingredients of your cleaning products before using them together! Please share this so more folks are aware, they literally don't be teaching us important stuff like this to prepare for the Adult World™
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
anybody else in the club feeling this one
I think people argue with me less since I got in the habit of starting posts with "I think" despite not really changing anything else about the way I post. I think it helps also to add an "I think" at the start of every new thought or change of topic just in case people get confused about whether or not I'm still discussing my thoughts rather than immutable universal facts about the world.
Gonna start prefacing my opinions with "It is known among the wise that"
oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this
rich people seeing mount everest
i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy
simply dont monday
i gotta romanticize this silly little life so i don’t romanticize killing my silly little self
Your secret is safe with me (i dissociated mid sentence and didn’t hear a thing you said)
I don't care what official translations say, I chose to believe "Et tu, Brute?" translates to "What the FUCK, Brutus?"
apparently it translates more like
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.
The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long
Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.
The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue
.
Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly
Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse
“Roses are red, violets are purple,
My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”
…
DYING. I AM DYING.
“Roses are red
Violets are purple
My how you have the truck of a cirple”
You better watch out, buddy – I have extremely unusual life experiences which I mistakenly believe are universal, and I'm about to misinterpret your post in ways you can't even imagine.
this is such a rude and obviously targeted thing to make me, a man with a problem, read
like 99% of "men and women are soooo different!!!" comedy is literally just describing the experience of not understanding other people. like it's not that women never say what they mean talking to other people is just like that. it can be hard to understand what other people are thinking. bioessentialism really rots the brain
"women will say I'm fine and then not mean it" yeah that's something literally everybody does. is this your first time interacting with another human being my guy
this is one of the only funny responses on this hell of a post
