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You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

tomfoolery at an all time high

we are so fucking back baby

at my fathers funeral hitting the bong of grief

the bong of grief

we transposed your girlfriend into a minor key. yeah she’s much more interesting and sinister now

I put up your boyfriend for peer review and... yeah he's published in a journal now. You can purchase 1 month of access for $32.99, or you can log in through your institution for access. Sorry.

tired of being brave about things i will now be openly pathetic

“McNuggets to the rescue” my ass. Who the fuck could they possibly help

sorry for what i said when i was under the control of the cursed amulet :/

don’t apologise it was hot

can we kiss

being nonbinary is so hot actually. my gender is between me and god. kiss me on the mouth about it

For people with anxiety about filing taxes, here’s what things that happen when you make a mistake on your tax return:

- it gets corrected

- you get a letter in the mail either asking for some additional information or a letter showing the adjustment

- you pay the amount (there’s options for payment plans too!) or get a refund

Things that do not happen

- you’re “in trouble”

- you are charged with fraud

- you go to jail

I know that most people are probably just joking/exaggerating when they say a mistake on their return means they get thrown in jail but when I worked with the public I always would encounter people who believed that would happen and they would be panicking about it. So I like to put this out there every year because if I can even prevent one person from feeling that way, it’s worth it

Annual reblog of this important information.  

The thingy above where you sign your tax form says that you’ve filled it out to the best of your ability.  “Sir, I am a dumbass” is 100% a valid defense

where is the yeah it would be fucking nice tweet

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about