The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

Cainceled 

This post gets worse every reblog

yet im not Abel to scroll past

This post hit me like a rock to the head

This is the quality content that keeps me on Tumblr

((The ability to appreciate and evaluate human aesthetic is not determined by your sexuality))

THANK YOU

Reblogging at the speed of light

“Aw what a cute cat!”

“What I didn’t know you were attracted to animals!”

This

!!!

“Those shoes are nice”

“Do you wanna fuck those shoes, John?”

it sucks a lot of emotional responses to distress are also emotional responses people associate with being dishonest. "ummm if you weren't lying why did you get so defensive" BECAUSE YOU ACCUSED ME OF LYING WHEN I DIDN'T..?

idk what you call this sort of "logic" but I blame the body language reader pop psychology people

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

shit I missed my window, next week I guess

Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog

I love when Tumblr has random funny bullshit videos without any description like this and I just have to trust either that my mutuals wouldn't put unfunny things on my dash or that I've made good decisions on who to follow

Sharing the original video because nothing could prepare me for the offical sketch the police department sent.

NGL that is WAY funnier than Sasuke

we as a society need to do something about the fact that frozen pizza doesn't taste good

wait you understand that kinks are ok because they're fantasies that make you happy right? you all get that you don't need to have trauma for your kinks to be okay? right? like none of you think i witnessed a tragic accident on the pool toy assembly line right?

like "some people work through their personal issues with kink" was a good first step for some of the class that were struggling but i think now we're ready for "things that don't hurt anyone and make people happy are okay even if you personally think it's icky"

BECAUSE ROUGE THE BAT DRAWN AS WIDE AS SHE IS TALL WITH TITS TO MATCH KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?

I do headcanon that the more Astarion feels accepted by his partner, his grins and laughs become more "fangy". He doesn't have to hide the fangs as he's accepted just the way he is. He stops seeing himself as a monster.

Was thinking about this moment the most when I made this post

This makes no sense

it literally could not be more straightforward

It literally doesnt make sence, both have the same value, they're both $30

I think the failure of many people to grasp an incredibly simple, barebones metaphor is demonstrating implicit bias very well

This dude straight up stated the fucking answer and still can’t understand it, because he’s expecting the answer to be his own views lmao

No im not expecting anything its just a badly frammed metaphor

Bro you said the answer. Both have the same value despite different sizes. It’s simple. Basic. Elementary.

But it never says that, it just asks you wich one is greater and the text ends there, wich leads you to thinking that one indeed has greater value then the other, and that the one with the greater value is the answear

It asks you which one has the greater value and what is the answer to that question?

Im not about to argue over a focken tit size metaphor

Never underestimate the lack of reading comprehension on this site lmfao

REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.

I clearly remember when my parents bought our first VCR. We watched Disney’s Robin Hood SO MANY times because it was one of like 3 vhs tapes we owned for the longest time

we are in a media literacy crisis

friendly reminder that characters don't need to be saints to be entertaining. and telling a story does not mean endorsement. art does not need to be all about morally good people.

IDK if this was meant as hyperbole but it's literally true:

Adult literacy is low.

Child literacy is low.

Information literacy has shifted dramatically in the last decade, but reputable information sources like research journals and factual news reporting have been unable to keep pace.

We are genuinely in a crisis of media literacy, with ever fewer genuinely factual resources available in the style and language used by contemporary audiences.

It may sound condescending, but we genuinely need to remind people, or worse, explain to them for the first time that art is not evidence of real world behaviour.

So, thank you, for this reminder. Genuinely.

You're correct:

Art does not need to feature exclusively morally pure characters. Art is not proof of the creator's secret, violent desires.

forceful reminder as we come up to easter weekend that you were not born bad. that it is good that you are alive. that you were not born to be evil, or born to die for the cause, or born to be broken.

#I am not christian. So I am kinda confused why being born bad is connected with easter..? (@tamisdava2)

easter weekend is about the death (good friday) and resurrection (easter sunday) of jesus christ. in xtianity, the death of jesus christ is about atonement for the sins of mankind, sins that were brought into this world by the Original Sin back in the garden of eden.

a lot of good friday services are HEAVY on the guilting. a lot of toxic xtian communities will get judgy about whether or not you cried during service, about the degree to which you feel guilt, because you should feel as if you are the one driving nails through the hands of jesus christ. because he had to die for YOU, because YOU are bad, because you inherited sinfulness, because there is NOTHING you can do to make up for that.

(did you cry during passion of the christ as a child or are you a psychopath? did you look away? how could you look away?)

and if he had to die for you, shouldn't you be willing to die for him? how could you be like peter, denying christ out of fear for your mortal coil, when jesus -- again -- DIED? (cue: factually incorrect, twisted accounts of people killed because they refused to deny being xtian, followed by sermons about how we all need to be like that, unafraid to deny christ.)

the better to have never born bit is from judas, who betrayed jesus (thus causing his execution). most interpretations, in my experience, is that judas was predestined to betray jesus. but it's also said that for The Traitor, it'd be better to have never been born at all, because he's just That Evil And Doomed. and then judas hangs himself, woo!! so anyways that's a fun way to induce life crises about free will and the value of life and all that jazz.

#but i know they happen. the cool popular pretty girls all cry at sunday service (@imalwaysinpain)

i'm sorry but i ugly laughed at this. why would you say something so controversial yet so brave

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

I know this has good intentions, so I will just add the "how you treat them, even as objects of fiction, can speak about your own character, be careful out there"

Your addition is actually completely antithetical to my message. It is literally the opposite of what I am conveying.

Stop telling people to encourage the cop inside their head.

How you treat fictional characters, given they are entirely objects of fiction, does NOT necessarily speak to your own character, and you do not need to be "careful".

It is not dangerous to imagine dark things happening to fictional characters. It does not mean you are secretly a bad person. It does not mean you unconsciously want to hurt people in real life. It is not a "slippery slope" to doing bad things to people in real life. You cannot damage your brain or turn yourself into a bad person by consuming "dark" fanfic.

I can write tentacle noncon of my favorite character all day long and be a fierce anti-sexual assault advocate in real life because what I do in my head is not the same thing as what I do in real life.

These tags were too perfect to not include