If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”
DUDE
CLUB GOIN UP
ON A
If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”
DUDE
CLUB GOIN UP
ON A
I can’t get this out of my head. Please enjoy.
i feel like everyone’s forgotten some Covid basics so please let me remind you:
so like maybe stop being a little bitch and endangering others because you really, really needed to go out to dinner or get fucked up at a bar instead of in your home like a respectable person
hey, did yall know the quileute nation’s still (it is april 2021 as i write) trying to raise money to move out of that potential tsunami hazard zone and onto higher ground? i remember it was trending for a little while on tumblr when the twilight book came out but my corner of the web’s been quiet on it since.
there’s a lot going on all over the world right now but if you can spare them even 5 bucks, thats 5 bucks they wouldnt have had without you! please help them if you can.
hey folks would you mind passing this around please!!
Definitely a cat. And also French.
30 day free trial of being ok
op wheres the link
My mom taught me to exaggerate my pain so that doctors would take me seriously and all I'm saying is that it hasn't failed me yet
Listen. If you're a Black Woman you absolutely should exaggerate your pain.
We're dying because these doctors refuse to take us seriously. If you feel like something is off exaggerate it until they test for it. We've gotta advocate for ourselves
Seriously yall. Doctors would rather you be in pain than have to actually diagnose you. Some doctor stans gon be mad but damn if it took 10 years for them to successfully diagnose my mom after she was telling them textbook recounts of what she was experiencing and if it took 8 years for my aunt experiencing terrible indescribable pain in her stomach that they could have EASILY xrayed her for to which they actually did after literal fuckin years of her crying they found that the last operator on her left shit in her stomach. Then yes doctors don't fucking care aboht patients anymore. Its a money business and you're a dollar sign to them. May be some legit ones out there but in my experience its been "you're fine, heres some shit that won't help." Because nothing fuckin changes.
So many stories of people having to see 3,4 different doctors with the same symptoms just to get someone that'll run all the tests so they can get a diagnosis
I had all the classic symptoms of Multiple sclerosis 4 years ago. I mean textbook symptons. A disease which has no cure and which best hope is to get on treatment as soon as you see symptoms to delay or stop disease progression.
I went to my doctor after the er discharged me with “stress” and said “help my face is numb and I’m scared. He looked at me in my face and said “well what do you want me to do about it?” I had to beg to see a neurologist. The neurologist refused to let me speak and told me I was just stressed and refused to schedule me for an mri. Had she done that they would have found lesion on my brain.
4 years later I have now 2 lesions on my brain consistent with MS. I only found a doctor willing to take me seriously by happenstance after being hospitalized and refused a surgery that I would need anyway a few short months later. While on the hospital I was dismissed and refused pain medication unless I was literally screaming.
Fuck these doctors. Advocate for yourself hard.
“I want to copies of your documentation in my records of the symptoms I have reported and what actions were taken to respond to them.”
LISTEN ALL OF YOU BUT BLACK WOMEN ESPECIALLY
If a doctor refuses treatment or tests, say “I would like your refusal to treat documented in my chart.”
Then wait about 24 hours. (Partly for computer processing time, partly so if they think they’re being smart and saying yes but not actually doing it they’ll think they’re in the clear.)
Then call the doctor’s office AND SAY YOU WANT A COPY OF YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS.
If the refusal to treat isn’t in your records, you now have a malpractice suit.
Very, very few doctors are going to risk that possibility. They’ll bitch and moan when you ask for documentation, but they’ll run your tests.
As a comparison, by the way, here’s a doctor who had nothing to hide: my mom’s eye doctor when her eye started getting to the “It’s going to have to be physically removed” stage. He met us at the office at 9pm, long after close, with his date, to give my mom an injection to try to relieve the pressure in the eye. (Luckily said date also worked at the clinic and completely understood why he was doing this. He’s a great guy, he deserves a great lady.) I asked if he could note the exact time in her records, because the time needed between these injections was speeding up immensely. His reply:
“Actually that could give us an idea how fast this is progressing. Yes. What time is it? I’ll look up her earlier visit when I’m done.”
If your doctor isn’t that eager to make these notes, demand documentation and try to find a new doctor ASAP. It will save your life.
“whatever the fuck these two characters had going on” is a vastly underrated character dynamic
When the Chaotic Neutral Bisexual Disaster Rogue and Bard B-team characters get their own heist arc, set out to rob an entire city in what could have been some really gross colonizer bullshit, and…somehow end up making decent decisions while Elton John croons in the background, you get The Road to El Dorado.
This film is loquacious to a fault.
Literally the only reason more jobs weren’t already “work from home” is that companies think people will be less productive if they have more privacy and comfort which is just so, so, so fucking insulting. No job that can be done on a computer should require a physical office. None at all. All that shit should be abolished and then just imagine how much time, money, fuel and space would be collectively saved. Holy shit. How many people were commuting to work every day for cubicle shit?? How much CO2 was that?? How much total land do office complexes take up right now that could be cheap housing or sky gardens or solar power banks or literally anything more useful?
Also people want as many legal ways to descriminate against disabled people as possible because the idea that our labor is valuable blows ableds minds.
i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this
new tag yourself game: pick 3 words “born” in ur year that describe u. im geocaching, dark web and abandonware
Hi, I’m Bleeding-edge Cyberpunk Cryptid and I will not be taking questions.
“new variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease” is listed as one word and I feel this is my new zodiac
Have you met me and my Empowered Stimming Season Affective Disorder?
Alt-Pop Cyber Citizen of the Digital Divide
that feeling when you get tired of one maladaptive daydream and switch it up to be slightly different, reblog if you agree
This is actually, non-ironically, a great way of asking about benefits and company culture without asking about those things directly.
It’s such complete bullshit the sheer fucking amount of labour that medical and psychiatric places foist onto their patients, like literally if I need your services that inherently means I don’t have the time and energy to do this shit. Why can’t you be the one to fucking Google a pharmacy? Why do I have to make like six goddamn phonecalls just to get anything done? Why can’t you figure out insurance shit instead of making me do it? It’s so obviously just always going to end up with the people who most need care never getting it, which honestly just feels intentionally malicious at this point.
You know maybe amatonormativity exists but it’s hard to say that when I’m 90% sure gay people were not being encouraged to seek out relationships by the wider culture until maybe 2005-ish
what’s amatonormativity?
A Tumblr-based sociological theory that boils down to “compulsory alloromanticism” but I’ve also seen it defined to include monogamy as another expectation under the header of amatonormativity
Amatonormativity is not tumblr based- it was not created on tumblr nor was it popularised on tumblr. Amatonormativity was not even coined by asexual people or with asexual people in mind exclusively.
Amantonormativity was coined by feminist academic Elizabeth Brake in her book “Minimising Marriage” to refer to:
the assumptions that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types. (Source)
Amatornormativity doesn’t just affect asexual and aromantic people. Whilst it’s often asexual and aromantic people you see talking about amatonormativity (because we become hyper aware of it due to how it affects us), it actually impacts the lives of people of all orientations, including LGBT+ people.
Amatonormativity in practice is…
And much more…
Violations of amatonormativity would include dining alone by choice, putting friendship above romance, bringing a friend to a formal event or attending alone, cohabiting with friends, or not searching for romance. (Source)
Also the way turning down a request for a date, while single, is often viewed as some sort of terrible insult instead of an analysis of poor compatibility.
Also the idea that it’s wrong to break up with someone unless they’ve done something objectively terrible enough to “deserve it” rather than because the relationship isn’t doing anything for you.
It also encourages people to stay in abusive relationships because it pushes being in a relationship is the highest priority/being alone is terrible.
Also….
“I’m 90% sure gay people were not being encouraged to seek out relationships by the wider culture until maybe 2005-ish”
Yes.
Yes, they were.
They were encouraged to seek out heterosexual relationships.
You can’t uncouple Amantonormativity from Heteronormativity. One is built into the other. Heteronormativity means there is one right way to have a life, and that way is being straight, is falling in love, being monogamous, is complying to certain standards of beauty, it’s being white and thin and abled.
ALL of those things go into the ideal norm that is oppressing ALL OF US. It doesn’t matter in WHICH way you stray from the heteronormative ideal — if you’re polyamorous or if you’re gay or if you don’t fall in love or you love while disabled. ANY WAY you stray from it is punished.
Amatonormativity is not just “you must fall in love.” It’s “You must fall in love in the right way with the right person.”
So yes, amatonormativity is absolutely linked to heteronormativity.
And, as ace-and-ranty hinted, it is also linked to the supremacy of monogamy. Amatonormativity also excludes all forms of polyamory.
It also has something to do with why gays successfully got gay marriage before they got, say, “federal protection from discrimination in adoption cases” or “the right to be gender nonconforming in public school”. People who think it’s weird to see a man in a dress can still wrap their head around “he wants to marry the man he loves” because all you did was swap the expected pronouns.
Amatonormativity does pressure people into heteronormative relationships, but it also exists within the gay community and allies, to place a monogamous marriage to a same-sex partner above, say, a polyamorous polycule, or an asexual living with a queerplatonic friend.
Add to the list: the expectation that various other things should be cheerfully sacrificed for the health of the marriage. If one partner suddenly wants more kids, or for their partner to quit a job/turn down a promotion/break off a friendship, people will often view the other partner as selfish and unreasonable if they don’t put “the marriage” (really the other person’s wants, disguised as or promoted to the whole marriage) ahead of their own priorities and desires, even if the other person has suddenly dropped a completely unexpected wish on their heads after never indicating such an issue previously.
I’ve seen a Reddit thread where someone’s significant other—girlfriend, not spouse—wanted them to break off a lifelong (20+ year) close friendship due to feelings of insecurity about the relationship, and there were people lining up to insist that the romantic relationship took precedence over the friendship, and I wanted to make an account and jump in asking them how many of their exes they considered more important than their longest-lasting, closest friendship.
Not only because romantic relationships don’t always last and this person was statistically likely to become an ex, and not just because isolating one’s significant other from their friends is usually a red flag, but because the friendship had not been concealed from the significant other and either they hadn’t been around long enough to attain seriousness enough to jettison a lifelong friendship over (for the same reason you don’t marry someone you’ve known for a couple months) or they’d sprung this on the OP out of nowhere after it not being a problem previously. Either way, a lifelong friendship has value and it’s weird to see people think it should be so lightly discarded, just because Romantic Relationship More Important (regardless of length or quality).
There’s also a tendency, running alongside the primacy of the romantic partnership, to view a person who’s become your romantic partner as yours to change, or even view your desire for a particular person to expect them to change to get you.
People do a disturbing amount of getting with someone they’re not well compatible with just because they like them in other ways, with the full intention of expecting them to change once they’re dating, or demanding that they change once the relationship is established enough to be painful if broken, hoping and often banking on the other person reshaping themselves for the relationship. People also do a disturbing amount of lying about themselves to make themselves temporarily more attractive, in the hopes of getting the other person attached before they reveal the truth.
(While we’re at it, add the viewing of unrequited romantic love as a preventable tragedy that could be fixed by the recipient “giving them a chance” or trying to love them back or just accepting a relationship with them, especially as if they get to claim placeholder rights if the person is single. For that matter, add the tendency to preface and pre-strengthen an attempt to date someone by asking if they’re single.)
Ironically but unsurprisingly, a whole goddamn lot of the functions of amatonormativity come at the expense of actual love.
I have NEVER seen this put into actual words and terms before, but teenage and 20-something me, who knew firmly that she didn’t want kids despite not yet understanding the depth of her queerness or what demisexuality meant, was feeling this pretty hard.
There was a staggering amount of journaling during that time that was basically variations on the theme of, “Why does it feel like I’m being railroaded onto a single path of expectation? Why is there so much pressure on me to grow up, date, marry a man, settle into a staid and uneventful life, and produce children? Why is this idea so intrinsically tied to my perceived intelligence, stability, and worth as a human being? Why is any notion that I might not want these things seen as an indication of something wrong or simply dismissed out of hand? Why does it feel like my desires in life outside of heteronormative mate-finding and procreation don’t matter? And why do others consistently question, belittle, dismiss, or deride my own resolve and decisions in these matters?”
The Quiraing, Isle of Skye, Scotland
Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs
Caveat: If you live in the U.S. and your mental health issues directly affect your ability to do your job, if you take medication that might show up on a drug test, or if you require some kind of accommodation in order to be able to perform your duties, file ADA paperwork with your HR dept on DAY ONE.
HR isn’t always your friend, but if you have a piece of paper that says, “Hey there’s a federal law that says I can ask for headphones or a quiet space or ramp access,” employers are much less likely to fuck with you. Plus, if they can you for asking for reasonable accommodations, they open themselves up to being sued into the ground.
All this being said, if you’re working for an employer that you know just Does Not Care, don’t tell them SHIT.