wolves and girls

i like that mando knows many languages and is respectful to other people but also he does kill people for money. he has a strong moral compass but no one really knows where its pointing

Holy fucking shit i have finally laid eyes on this legendary post

oOOOOH SH*t !!!by AnatoFinnstark

@lesbianmeouch

Happy birthday dolly parton

Wait wrong post

that’s Jolene

i’m dating an astrophysicist

sherlock girl trying to hit on me: hey ;) i noticed the thin indentations calloused into your fingertips. you a bassist? me: that? oh thats from opening pistachios

“Samuel Vimes distrusted the kind of person who’d take one look at another man and say in a lordly voice to his companion, “Ah, my dear sir, I can tell you nothing except that he is a left-handed stonemason who has spent some years in the merchant navy and has recently fallen on hard times,” and then unroll a lot of supercilious commentary about calluses and stance and the state of a man’s boots, when exactly the same comments could apply to a man who was wearing his old clothes because he’d been doing a spot of home bricklaying for a new barbecue pit, and had been tattooed once when he was drunk and seventeen and in fact got seasick on a wet pavement. What arrogance! What an insult to the rich and chaotic variety of the human experience!”

— Terry Pratchett - Feet Of Clay

i can’t read. want some? theyre good

actually I will take some thanks

I nominate “The Moira’s Rose’s Garden 4856″ as the best bit from Schitt’s Creek

“It’s mom’s birthday,David.”

^that’s low-key the best line

weatherboy (derogatory)

op what does this mean

wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

workshopping a YA novel where the government divides everyone into social classes based on whether they like cilantro or think it tastes like soap

on their 12th birthday everyone has to try cilantro for the first time in front of the whole community and report back on their opinion so they can be properly categorized and she says “it’s okay i guess” and she gets dragged offstage by the pro-cilantro government militia

groundbreaking concept! how do we shoehorn it into a love triangle

guy from an island where they've never heard of cilantro

Me: so anyway, everyone shipped an angel with this monster hunter-

Child: grandma what does this have to do with the 2020 election

Me:

I collected a bunch of "haha I don't have 2020 vision" "oh God not like that" posts

I wouldn’t mind a sequel to this post 🤣

I have kept coming back to this post to see the reblogs, so I can give you the ones other people collected all in one place:

This one I actually found myself!

And I don’t think that this counts, but it still has the beautiful “Ah, fuck” vibes the rest of the post does:

And let’s not forget the cursed “Supernatural GIF Perfectly Describes 2020″ one:

@ferrousferrule:  You said you were looking for more and going through the reblogs, right? In which case this isn’t going to be of much use to you, but still. Just in case it is. :)

I just knew having a tag for these would come in handy

Oh my god I’m fuckng crying and I’m not sure it’s from laughter or despair.

I just wanna point out that since its addition to this post in june, the quote “can’t believe a supernatural gif is aplicable to 2020 events........ this is definitely the worst possible timeline” has become another part of that post that aged like milk

in grade 6 and every time we had a movie day or class party id ask my mom for a can of doctor pepper but i had to keep it in my backpack and it always got shaken up and would explode when i opened it bcus we all know dr pepper has much more chaos inside the can than any other soda and anyways my whole class instinctively knew every time that my doctor pepper would explode and we'd have to pause the movie and clean it up and id usually be covered in dr pepper for the rest of the day and be super embarrassed and this happened to me about twelve times throughout the year. you might be wondering why i couldnt keep my dr pepper in my locker until we watched the movie and its because i didnt have a locker in grade six after i left a piece of pumpkin pie that my teacher gave me in there for a month and it rotted and molded so bad and there were maggots everywhere so one day i locked the locker and refused to open it ever again so for a whole year i carried all my stuff around because i was afraid to go to admin and tell them about my maggot pie because someone started a rumor that if the principle figured out you did something bad she would lock you down in the basement storage room that was infamous for having a giant rat that lived inside of it and i was afraid of rats after seeing ratatouille because i thought a rat might climb inside my hair and start controlling me and force me to do things i didnt want to do like make soup

Good writing advice usually always mentions hooking your readers in with a strong opening and I'm very much prepared to continue reading whatever novel this is from.

YA contemporary be like a quirky girl named ari (short for arithmetic) and her boyfriend peter (short for jupiter) have to help save their best friend abby (short for cabbage). They never swear but there will be one (1) HEAVILY implied sex scene and a single background character named Perso Nofcolor. It will sell 12 million copies.

Classic literature be like troubled man who goes exclusively by his last name must engage in violent misogyny to learn the meaning of life

god faking tasks

jesus literally has sus in his fuckin name

Jesus was voted off this earth for your sins

allow me to slip into something a little more… comfortable *removes green ribbon from my neck, screaming ensues*

stop being funnier than me in the notes of my own post

in movies, when a scientist is held hostage and is forced to make a bomb or virus, like my guy, those villains don’t know shit about science. just make a gumball machine, my dude

eighth grade science fair volcano, but fancy looking

 i just want once where the villain is like, you are too late, i detonated the device and instead of doom and gloom it is just confetti sparklers with abba’s waterloo playing and the scientist is like, bitch you thought 

every time a scientist gets kidnapped to build a terrible weapon, they think about just bullshitting it, but then a tiny voice in the back of their mind says, but don’t you want to see if you can? don’t you want to laugh madly as you show them all? don’t you want to just go feral?

Honestly when’s the next time you’ll get this kind of grant funding?

f/m shippings are great, heterosexuals just have the most awful taste in heterosexual relationships. why can’t you all be normal and instead of shipping edgy manchild x soon to be house wife, why don’t you ship that has whatever Adam and Morticia from the Adams family has.

every time this post gains notes again I am reminded of my pain and sufferings

my favorite so far