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gender noncompliant

@darthgender / darthgender.tumblr.com

25. they/he/it | icon by @tearjerk
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I’m a simple man. I’m a hot sauce boy. I’m the woman in red. I’m the girl who’s got it all. I’m good baby. I’m evil baby. I’m your grandfather’s reanimated corpse. I’m the dream of the fisherman’s wife. I’m the man of the hour. I’m a cult classic. I’m doing the best that I can.

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teal-deer

I'm a little late but I can do it tomorrow. I'm burning myself alive while I spin in a sundered frostborne sea. I'm devoured by 7000 sand trout and I'm ascending to an enlightened state. I'm climbing this endless spinal stair in the bleak shadows of God's whispering corpse. I'm still here, unlikely as that seems.

I’m a sex machine ready to reload. I’m giving back to my country. I’m seeing a man about a horse. I’m giving myself an aneurism. I’m the end of the world as we know it. I’m going to bring balance to the Force. I’m your worst nightmare. I’m the love of your life. I’m placing my faith in a dream. I’m lost tomorrows. I’m the world to come. I’m picking up where I left off. I’m a needle, I’m a haystack, I’m a mean green fighting machine. I’m a bull market. I’m a bear hug. I’m pregnant. I’m the chosen one. I’m the man in the moon. I’m an environmental catastrophe. I’m the it girl, I’m the he-man, I’m a she-wolf, I’m a real knee-slapper.

I’m an algae bloom. I’m an oil spill. I’m a dead zone off the coast of Australia. I’m a satellite collision. I’m a carbon cap. I’m a Brassica cultivar. I’m a chronic condition. I’m a migratory species. I’m an agent of god. I’m a keloidal scar. I’m your usurping uncle. I’m the Cambrian Extinction. I’m a religious exemption. I’m the Master. I’m Margarita. I’m the one who walks away from Omelas. I’m stealing Christmas. I’m a CIA training program. I’m a limiting factor. I’m breaking the chain of command. I’m taking the kids in the divorce. I’m burying the lead. I’m digging my heels in. I’m a snake in the grass. I’m semi-arboreal. I’m an obligate carnivore. I’m going postal. I’m a carving out a place in the world. I’m a Celtic Woman. I’m a decorative hermit. I’m the feminine mystique. I’m a self-made man. I’m a population bottleneck. I’m mitochondrial Eve. I’m the Lavender Menace. I’m mad with power. I’m coming to get you, Barbara.

I’m the leader of the free world. I’m an enemy of the state. I’m in too deep. I’m the kind of guy your mother warned you about. I’m sorry to bother you at this hour. I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’m past the point of no return. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. I’m pulling myself up by my bootstraps. I’m not afraid to use physical force. I’m gone to seed. I’m laying fallow for another year. I’m too old to fawn upon a nurse. I’m my father’s daughter. I’m your bouncing baby boy. I’m ready to take back what is rightfully mine. I’m overdue for an oil change. I’m coming apart at the seams. I’m practically perfect in every way. I’m becoming my mother after all. I’m living on borrowed time. I’m so glad that you could join me. I’m bleeding out. I’m going in. I’m shaking and crying as I type this. I’m three days away from retirement. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave.

I’m the sands of time. I’m the milk of human kindness. I’m the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m the wind that shakes the barley. I’m a little bit Genghis Khan. I’m the gift that keeps on giving. I’m the ghost of your past. I’m the shadow on the wall. I’m the taste of bitter almonds. I’m a Fibonacci sequence. I’m a selection pressure. I’m absolute zero. I’m the boy in the bubble. I’m the sword of Damocles. I’m the mares of Diomedes. I’m spooky action at a distance.

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girls-to-men

Saw a bumper sticker that said “your child is not an honor student. He is a dog.” I know that wasnt intended to be as horny as it is but i will take it. Your daughter was a good girl at the top of her class until i put a leash on him

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one of the things that gets me REALLY assmad is willful misinterpretation of other people's beliefs and arguments. i can 1000% disagree with you or have no stakes in the debate at hand, but if i see someone belligerently misinterpreting what you say, there's a good chance i'll go to bat for you anyway.

this isn't my hill, but i will die on it because you are annoying me.

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moonachilles

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

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nitewrighter

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

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Okay this is RIDICULOUS but MY DAD INSIST THAT IM THE ASSHOLE SO HERE YOU GUYS GO

AITA FOR KNOCKING OVER A LAMP

I wanted to sleep but it’s bright so I wanted to turn the light off but I can’t reach the switch so my next option was get someone to do it for me but dad wouldn’t get up and turn it off for me. So I decided to knock it over so it would be closer and he can turn it off for me.

He didn’t appreciate that tho and got mad at me for knocking it over. True, he’s told me MULTIPLE times not to touch the lamp. But. He wouldn’t get up and turn it off for.

This is me BEGGING for him to turn it off

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