tumblr is the best site bc it got baddies living like complete incels

I was a part of the russian sleep experiment but I was in the control group so none of that stuff happened to me

the “rocky” mountains? aren’t they all like that?

most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

they did not call me any particular nickname in college because I did not have any characteristics or traits

i don't know guys i kinda like this one

this one is real

starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world

oh! i forgot to do this. okay starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world and i actually seriously genuinely properly truly mean it this time

T Swift: (on phone) Attorney General James thinks herself ascendant... her gain is ultimately our loss. I want you to make it explicitly clear to every judge on that little fucking Appellate Division bench that it is within their legitimate best interest to reduce the bond payment. Don't call me again until this is done.

The apple vision strapped to Travis's face beaming directly into his eyes for the third hour that day while he's tied to a chair and gagged 12 feet away:

why don't you take a long suck off a short cock bud