but cake tho

Listen, yes of course Eddie Brock is an exceptional example of an alien fucker but I need everyone to understand that the symbiote is canonically from a planet where not only does everything reproduce asexually but the even idea of wanting any kind of relationship with a host was considered so insane and devious that the Venom symbiote was sentenced to death for it. And consider how weird a human must be to them. Humans are as much aliens to symbiotes as symbiotes are to humans.

What I’m saying is in terms of being an alien fucker, NOBODY beats the Venom Symbiote.

Symbiote society: Loving and respectful relationships shall be punished by death.

Venom symbiote: Guess I’ll die

You can thank Deadpool for making Venom go against the grain.

when you know he only likes clowns so you spend all day getting your makeup on and he’s grinding his 8.5x7″ shit against your lime green overalls and youre about to drop that circus pussy down on him when he asks if he can be the top in the stephen king roleplay this time

am I hallucinating

reblogging for the sheer Halloween ambiance of these pics

!!!!

The black cats are witches that summoned their pumpkin friend for a cuddle party

Absolutely bonkers shit that legitimately happens in NBC Hannibal (an incomplete list):

Some more from the replies and tags:

all i ever think about is skincare and getting rawed

have you guys considered hobbies

all i ever think about is tabletop roleplaying games and getting rawed

have you considered skincare

Soon it will be Autumn and Persephone can go back to pegging her husband in peace and I can wear a fucking jumper

Did Roy ever find his boyfriend?

he did

happy for him

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART THEY ADOPTED A DAUGHTER NAMED TANGO BECAUSE IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO!!!! This is them:

and they even had a book written about them:

guys Tango found a girlfriend :’)

This is gay lesbian solidarity

ah yes peaches……… the lesbian apple

plums .. the goth peach

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”

You are a genius and I’m using this

Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh

My family are farmers from my mothers side and when I was a kid my gradmother said something along the lines of “If you can grow anything you have a pure heart, plants feed off your soul as much as they feed off the earth. Be kind of them , they pray to god” she told me this while taking off the spikes of cactus pears. Now I buy dying plants from the hardware store on Clarence and easily bring them back to life, everytime I doubt my heart I bring home hoards of plants to bring back to life as if it’s a test of the purity of my soul.

Every plant I have dies…

According to an old lady in a old ass village in Palestine you a bitch then

Unlike most of my work, this is half-traditional, half-digital.  I wasn’t happy with how I painted his coat so I painted it twice and digitally composited the two paintings…but anyway, may I present the king’s cartographer!

wilddd

Shut the fuck……

I knew she was that girl.

whenever somebody responds with “I beg your pardon?” assert your dominance by announcing “Then Beg.”

A stray dog in Bolivia joined a monastery and became a monk. The resident monks of St. Francis Monastery, named for the patron saint of animals, decided to adopt a dog they call ‘Friar Bigotón’ from the Cold Nose Project, which hopes the dog’s story will now inspire more monasteries to take in homeless pets. Source Source 2 Source 3

@sskullsandb0nes

AKJSDFKLSD THEY MADE HIM A MONK

are we just going to ignore the fact that they named him friar moustache?

ariana looks at pete with the same devotion bottoms look at their top once they’ve done the bare minimum

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