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sleepy head

@theirdespair / theirdespair.tumblr.com

take me (i'm yours)
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reblogged

An Open Letter

Recently, there have been certain posts on both public and private platforms that have come to our attention. Complaints and callouts about actions performed by both of us mods in the group preceding this one, Royal Despair, have been surfaced to us over the course of the last week. While we were initially content to leave the hearsay as they were, the situation has escalated to the point where one member of the group has anonymously contacted me, threatening to release screenshots and spin things out of our control, despite numerous attempts from us to settle the matter civilly.

Well, I’m going to give them the satisfaction of watching today, because it doesn’t seem as if anything else will pacify them. I’m going to address the rumors surrounding an incident that occurred nearly a year ago in the RD chat.

This situation started a year ago in the hopefuls chat of the first Royal Despair. While I was asleep, Mod Tal started a nsfw chat, except it was basically open to anyone regardless of age. When Mod Tal was rightfully called out for this action, her response was to make two nsfw chats, one for minors, and one for adults.

Obviously, this was a horrible idea and neither of us have even once disputed that. We know it was wrong. It was my mistake not to address this with tal and tell her that this was a bad idea. However, I’m afraid of confrontation. I’m not going to undercut my involvement in the situation, because as an adult, I should’ve spoken up. However, having been in situations in the past where confrontation has ended horribly for me, I kept quiet. And no, that’s not me making an excuse for myself. I know I screwed up and I know I should’ve spoken up. That much is abundantly clear to me and I’ve tried to get better with confrontation since then. This is just an explanation for why this happened.

The issue, at least to my understanding, settled down until after the roster was released. There was a nsfw channel in the server and nsfw content was discussed there, and that includes me. Mod Tal posted some lewd Chiyo doodles in the chat, which upset one of the players very much. This led to the player in question leaving, and then another player leaving two days before the game was slated to begin.

Tal did delete the images and attempted to pacify the issue by making an explicit channel for explicit images, but clearly that wasn’t enough. And you know what? That’s fair. People don’t have to be comfortable with nsfw content or images, and it was definitely our faults as mods for just automatically putting in anyone 18+ into that server.

Time went on and the nsfw channel was a place for jokes and occasional nsfw discussion. Upon rereading, I did make two jokes about a 17 year old character, and it was only in relation to how his girlfriend viewed him. Yes, I understand I shouldn’t have done this and upon rereading some of what I said, I did cringe a little bit since I’ve learned since then, but I do believe there’s a difference between jokes and in depth nsfw discussion.

And then came the initial twitter drama.

Someone posted about the minors nsfw channel from the hopefuls server. And I will say that we deserved to be called out for our actions. We both would’ve preferred to have someone have discussed us directly instead of posting on twitter, but I’m not going to claim that this person was wrong to call us out, because our actions were wrong.

It was after this event that we deleted the minors nsfw channel and publicly addressed it and apologized for it in the server. We assumed that would be the end of it.

Flash forward to after the game ended and I enter another server. Who do I see there but the person who started the initial twitter drama? I won’t name this person out of respect, but seeing them did bring me a great deal of anxiety. 

They ended up dming me about the situation. This person acted understanding to my face. We discussed the situation and I explained everything to them, something that they’ve conveniently forgotten about in lieu of more recent drama.

And then there’s now: with the Despot Despair drama. We have had multiple twitter posts against us and have received multiple asks on the situation in spite of the fact the first two things on the FAQ have been addressing the situation. 

Additionally, this group of people have somehow gotten ahold of my private blacklist (I have a very good idea of how, of course, but I’m not going to publicly accuse anyone), and then proceeded to openly mock it on twitter.

This group has sent multiple asks into the blog, in spite of our numerous apologies, one of which was very nsfw and inappropriate in nature.

At this point, I’m not really sure what we’re meant to do anymore. Tal and I have repeatedly apologized for the situation, but nothing seems to be enough. 

This is the last time this is going to be addressed. If further asks on the subject are submitted into the inbox, or the group of people behind this (and yes, we know who they are and are leaving their names out of respect for them), we will assume that they are not pacified by selfishly forcing our hand into the matter.

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theirdespair

“one member of the group has anonymously contacted me, threatening to release screenshots and spin things out of our control, despite numerous attempts from us to settle the matter civilly.”

“numerous attempts from us to settle the matter civilly”

what attempts?

all you did was try to figure out my identity, presumably so you can blacklist me and put me on blast to all the members of your discord sever.

anyways, here are just some of the logs of the excessive nsfw in the royal despair server, since you’ve resolved not to have a civil conversation about this.

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a shout out to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in awhile but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car

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seudag

good luck to linguistics in the future trying to explain this

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