Bees?

this headline has no business being this funny

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) // Mamma Mia! (2008)

do you ever get into one of those moods where your heart aches and longs for something so deeply but you dont know what and your heart is like a stubborn toddler screaming i want it !!!! please give it to me !!!! And you’re desperately like i don’t know what kind of emotionally fulfilling experience to give you at 3 PM on a Wednesday !!!!!!!!!

another thought that’s literally been plaguing me lately is that thing about how Scooby Doo takes place in an economic depression bc everything is always run down and all the crimes are motivated by money and the like…like, that’s all very believable as a theory, but I can’t fucking stop….every member of Mystery Inc. is canonically rich. They’re all well the fuck off to the point where they probably don’t even need to work a day in their lives. And they spend their time…traveling the country…getting lower class citizens just trying to make ends meet arrested… which further complicates the livelihood of those citizens…Mystery Incorporated is complicit in a broken system that fucks over the middle and poorer class. They are literally rich people profiting off the suffering of the poor….have they truly been the real monsters this entire time? I have a headache. 

the most #UselessLesbian thing i have ever done was when i was trying to figure out if this girl liked me or not, just constantly arguing with myself about it, and after a couple, uh, months, of this, i was like, “god i wish i could just like… go to court and lay out all this evidence and have a couple lawyers argue over the TRUE MEANING of her text messages, and then a judge tells me if she likes me or not.” and then the proverbial lightbulb went off over my proverbial head, and i dug into my mock trial folder from high school and found the trial guidelines and i wrote out an entire trial transcript featuring a plaintiff (me), my attorney (my wildest hopes and dreams), a defense attorney (my worst fears and insecurities), and a judge (my desperate attempt at rationality). the final product was several thousand words long. it clarified nothing. at any point in this process did it occur to me to ask her how she felt about me? absolutely not. did i ever stop and think, “hey, maybe i should tell her that i like her?” absolutely not. that’s for people who take risks and i don’t take risks i take myself to court in my own head.

grade A romcom material here just picture the movie:

a harried law student meets a pretty girl (maybe she’s an artist or something else cheesy and romantic) the pretty girl flirts with her but she can’t decide if it’s just being friends or actually flirting

she gets together with her friends and over the course of a few days holds an epic mock trial that draws more and more of a crowd until the pretty girl finds out

at the last minute the pretty girl rushes into the courtroom shouting “i have new evidence to present to the court,” the mock judge asks her to step forward and she just kisses the law student

the courtroom cheers

case closed ruled in favor of the defendant

later after they graduate they get married at the courthouse

Everyone give Terry Crews your power so he can burn Hollywood and its roaches to the ground

Of all the possible jokes in this format I did not expect the Tower of Babel

it’s amazing when your humor is exactly the same as someone else’s & you both just spend the whole day laughing at everything you both say

IF WE WANT THE REWARDS OF BEING LOVED WE MUST SUBMIT TO THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN!!!!

i dont fUCKEN think so

“i don’t trust anyone anymore” says the 13 year old girl who got in an argument with her friend one time

It’s hard to experience an argument with a close friend or loved one! Especially as a teenager when we are all experiencing these relationships—and their struggles—for the first time.

What’s important is to start an open, honest conversation about these feelings. Encourage teenagers to talk to their friends about fights before coming to a decision about the future of the relationship.

did they mean to hurt you? Do they still care about you? What do you need from your friend? What do they need from you?

Let’s teach kids the first steps to healing early! Let’s not encourage a hierarchy of emotional validity!

Also stop devaluing kids’ pain. Just because you have experienced worse doesn’t mean they have. At that moment it is the most traumatic thing they’ve experienced and adults mocking them for expressing that need to get slapped. 

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

I’m sorry what

you heard me

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

@genericrevenge

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

kinda, yeah

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

That logo looks familiar.

WHAT

OH MY GOD

people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch the fuck out