C H O P S H O P G I R L

@ib00-28-blog / ib00-28-blog.tumblr.com

Indie Gabriella Teller from THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E
Avatar
@ib00-28
          “There’s no way you’re going to get in there tonight,” he had called over to the woman, the street devoid of cars – but full of people, all lined up to try their luck at getting into one of the most expensive nightclubs in the city. Vital had hovered on the fray, seeming to study those who had fallen into line, as well as those who had gone straight to the bouncers to see if their name might magically appear on the list with the help of some Benjamins. “Not even three hundred bucks and a bit of thigh is going to make those bouncers look away, I bet.” Unlike her, he wasn’t on any mission or had any purpose – it was exactly the opposite, in fact, just yet another way for him to kill time, most likely on his own it seemed.
          “But if you promise to get me that gold leaf-lined chocolate dessert at Serendipity for Thursday night, I can get you in.”
image

“How can you be so sure? I might have something in my sleeve.” I had something in my sleeve, that is until nature decided that the agent playing the bouncer had to eat a street sandwich full of rotten mayo. The words danced on Gaby’s lips as she blew a bubblegum. Things were easier when Napoleon and Illya were around, not in some God forsaken town chasing THRUSH agents. Solo missions weren’t the funniest—especially this one consisting in planting a chip on a small drug dealer’s phone and leaving. “Look,” The mechanic sighed between blowing another bubble and chewing the rubbery cinnamon flavored gum.

“I’m not sure why people are attracted to food with gold. It doesn’t enhance the flavor, it has zero nutritional value and in the end all you’re getting is something shiny in the toilet.” Frowning a bit at the girls getting dismissed by the bouncer was the ultimate sign of resignation. She would never get in, even covered in Dior from head to toe. “Whatever floats your boat. If you get me in I’ll pay for your shiny piece of chocolate and by God I hope you’re not talking about their prinzregententorte. That would be an insult to Rottenhöfer.”

Avatar
reblogged

I’ve had this blog for around two weeks now, and I’ve recently reached +100 followers! Thank you, everyone. This is like….totally….out of this world (or something equally punny). At any rate, I should probably put together a stylin’ +100 followers promo post. *mulder voice* Par-tay.

The Truth Is, We Out Here:

Close friends and talented writers I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with in character as well as out of character! A huge thanks to you guys especially.

Truth-Seekers:

And here are the great blogs I follow and admire. Your content really keeps my dash alive, so god bless you. Amen. Hallelujah. 
Avatar
“I’m Special Agent Fox Mulder. I work for the FBI.”
She was a firecracker, witty and sharp, and, still, the grim headline managed just enough to dull her edge. Yet, could one blame her? Pied Piper Lures Sixth, Corpses Line Shore… It was funny how callous words could be. Stamped in cold ink, weighted and bold, its delivery was as gentle as a slap to the face, and she felt it - recoiled. Mulder’s smile faded.
“Maybe it’s just the opposite. Maybe it’s easier to believe that it is a man, because doubting so mean having to consider the probability of it being something you don’t understand.” And can’t stop. It was a sinister thought, but Fox was careful to tread lightly. “And don’t we fear most that which is unknown?” He slipped the paper away once she had her fill, the silence weighted and growing tenser still. Then, after a pause, the question: "Are you the daughter of Mr. Udo Teller?”

Gaby’s eyebrows shot up. So, FBI finally took an interest in her small town and its strange happenings? Scoffing lightly, she moved to a nearby sink, rinsing the oil out of calloused fingers. “No Mr. Mulder. It’s easier to cave in and think that the unthinkable is doing it. Because we live in a society that tells us that drowning people is wrong, thus…” A stop to shake her wet hands as some cheering erupted from across the street. “Humans don’t like thinking that other humans might do things like that. We fear nothing but ourselves. And, as my uncle once said when I twisted an ankle ‘men have two masters: fear and pain’. ”

image

She peered through the window, the nearby bar was packed with citizens, probably red-faced with too many beers or glasses of wine and having a good time as the tiny woman mulled over the question, her lips pulled in a taut line. Yes, she was the daughter of the infamous rocket scientist Udo Teller, but he wasn’t much of a father to begin with. “I go by fräulein Schmidt these days. Now,” Short nails drummed against the dusty glass of a window, making the sound echo around the empty garage.

“I know most Americans don’t care about soccer, but Borussia Dortmund is playing against Schalke and it would be a shame to lose a match in the Bundesliga this year, especially this one. Plus I’m hungry and some currywurst would be great.”

Avatar
angstmemes

First-Time Interaction starter sentences

“I realise you don’t know me, but please help me, I think I’m going to pass out.” “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I saw someone put something in your drink. You didn’t drink from it already, did you?” “I got robbed and have no way of getting home. They got my phone, so I can’t call anyone. Could I please borrow your phone?” “Shit! Sorry, I didn’t see you there… Are you okay?” “Charlie! Imagine seeing you here!– Oh. Wait, you aren’t Charlie…” “Excuse me, I was looking to get my girlfriend a bra, could you help me– You’re not the shop assistant, are you?” “Watch out for that truck!” “Is this your wallet?” “You look very different to your profile picture…” “Look out where you’re going, asshole!” “Did you see that?! He had a gun.” “Are you the girl/guy from So You Think You Can Dance?!” “Err– I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was just walking behind you and I think you must have sat in something…” “I know I don’t know you and this might sound really strange, but do you have a room or a spare settee or something I could crash on? I could pay you… I just… I really need someone to help me out right now.” “HELP ME!” “Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.” “Are you alright? You look really pale.” “The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?” ”Have you lost something? Can I help?” “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”.

Avatar
reblogged

‘how do i interact with you’

write me a starter. send me an ask. punch me in the fucking face i don’t care just write with me

Avatar
“You mean I have to choose?” 
Ohh, chic and a critic, huh? Color him impressed. Fox retreated a single step as she stood, his smile of necessity quickly warming with amusement. “Nothing sticks it to the man quite like a little black dress,” he joked fleetingly. “Maybe you can even wine and dine them before breaking out the strongly worded slide show.”
Sadly, however, he wasn’t here to discuss industry. Digging into his jacket pocket, Mulder revealed to her the front of this morning’s paper. “I heard there’s been some deaths around here by the coast - reports of singing women… Kinda reminds you of the lorelei, doesn’t it?”

“Well you can have them all, if you’re looking for a nice night in a hotel bed watching the ceiling spin.” Winking, she picked a less dirty rag from the floor and started to scrub her fingers clean the best that she could—which didn’t even begin to scrape the surface of the crust of old oil in Gaby’s hands. “Black dress, a classic. But I highly doubt that any man will want to discuss politics with someone using the black dress correctly.” Finally the mechanic rose with her almond eyes fixed on the cover of the local newspaper.

In her personal opinion, rumors about the supernatural were exaggerated—fueled by the collective imaginary of the immigrants and their culture. Gaby looked at it with the same skepticism that she used for the old motors and hard cracking cases. “Look mister…… I never got your name.” The oil stains were now smudging the cheap print of the newspaper, covering the ends of it with its color.

Image

“If you came here looking for lorelei I’ll sadly inform you that she lives in Europe. People are just saying that because it’s better to believe that some spooky thing is targeting specifically a German population than to believe that some lunatic is killing my compatriots.” A sigh left her lips as the mischievous eyes got a sad glint, looking lost at the darkness in the garage. “People still target us over what happened years ago.”

Avatar
@ib00-28​
The air was saturated with the scent of oil and gasoline, a chemical fume that made his head swim. Studying the garage, Fox moved in deeper, his footsteps slowing only as he reached the car. “They say black never goes out of style,” he began, looking down at the woman tucked under the vehicle. “You think motor-oil’s what they had in mind?”
“You know I don’t think that it will look good on Valentino’s Fall collection. But…” Gaby pushed herself from under the car, the light coming from a lone incandescent bulb didn’t give enough illumination to make out the strangers face, but his tone suggested a friendly approach. “With the way the runways are turning into circuses I don’t doubt it will be featured in someone’s collection as a protest against petrol tycoons.” The woman tried to wipe out the black smudge on the bridge of her nose with an overused rag, but gave up when felt that the mess was worse than when she started.
Image

“You’re not from around here, what brings you to Hermann? Wine, sausages or beer?”

Avatar

SENTENCE MEMES FROM POPULAR TUMBLR TEXT POSTS :

this post was used for reference.
❛  but officer, they were fucking with my clique.  ❜ ❛  if you lose yourself, i will find you.  ❜ ❛  true friends don’t judge each other. they judge other people. together.  ❜ ❛  oh, you’re my friend? name three of my albums.  ❜ ❛  i’m sorry, but you must be at least a level four friend to unlock my tragic backstory.  ❜ ❛  fuck you but fuck me first.  ❜ ❛  you’re cute, what is your face html?  ❜ ❛  my life is one big ‘ wow, ok. ’  ❜ ❛  my life is just poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background.  ❜ ❛  i accidentally messed up my life, how do i start a new account?  ❜ ❛  my life is a joke and i’m not laughing anymore.  ❜ ❛  at myself, what the fuck are you doing.  ❜ ❛  if yahoo answers can’t solve your problem, then you’re in too deep.  ❜ ❛  this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid.  ❜ ❛  how do you get a nice body without moving.  ❜ ❛  it’s so hard when you’re in a cuddly mood and don’t have anyone to cuddle with!! this is an outrage!!  ❜ ❛  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened?  ❜ ❛  you ever just ugh really hard?  ❜ ❛  i’m a really affectionate person one you get past my five layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, vague dislike and loneliness.  ❜ ❛  i was confident for like two minutes one time.  ❜ ❛  all i think about is sex and what i’m going to eat next.  ❜ ❛  i have my pencils and my tears ready.  ❜ ❛  i’m that kinda person who, between two choices, will always pick the wrong one.  ❜ ❛  i avoid everyone, including the people i like.  ❜ ❛  i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember that i don’t even like me.  ❜ ❛  gosh golly! this beat is … whoo! this beat is … DANDY!  ❜ ❛  it’s hard being hilarious when everyone ignores you.  ❜ ❛  thinking about space fucks me up.  ❜ ❛  my biggest struggle in life is trying to make my eyeliner the same on both eyes.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could illegally download clothes.  ❜ ❛  heelys don’t have brakes because my swag don’t stop.  ❜ ❛  i know i make lots of jokes but i promise you, i’m a really sad person.  ❜ ❛  at least i can admit that i’m a piece of shit.  ❜ ❛  ‘ i’m not bitter ’ i say bitterly, with a bitter expression.  ❜ ❛  i’m fluent in talking shit.  ❜ ❛  it’s crazy how there are seven billion people on the planet and all of them are in love with me.  ❜ ❛  why am i better than everyone?  ❜ ❛  sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments.  ❜ ❛  I SWEAR, I AM NOT CUTE OR SWEET. DON’T CALL ME THAT. I AM EVIL. I AM THE SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT. FEAR ME.  ❜ ❛  i don’t ‘ dress to impress. ’ i dress to depress. i wanna look so good that people hate themselves.  ❜ ❛  i love learning bad things about people i don’t like.  ❜ ❛  i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.  ❜ ❛  i’m just an asshole with feelings.  ❜ ❛  there’s a special place in hell reserved for me. it’s called the throne.  ❜ ❛  damn boy, are you the terms and conditions? because i don’t give a fuck about what you have to say.  ❜ ❛  damn gurl, you flappy bird? because no one likes you.  ❜ ❛  your tattoo says ‘ only god can judge me, ’ yet here i am.  ❜ ❛  i’m not even sassy, i’m just an asshole.  ❜ ❛  i’m not a bitch, i am the bitch.  ❜ ❛  i like being obsessed with things so that i am distracted from how much i hate myself.  ❜ ❛  tips on talking to me when i’m pissed off: don’t.  ❜ ❛  my fashion sense is called ‘ i am cold and pissed off. ’  ❜ ❛  maybe ‘ fuck you ’ will be our always.  ❜ ❛  i believe in hate at first sight.  ❜ ❛  you hate me? wow, so much in common already.  ❜ ❛  i’m filled with hate and useless facts.  ❜ ❛  do you ever just wear headphones so people won’t talk to you?  ❜ ❛  i’d be such a good girlfriend, you’re all missing out.  ❜ ❛  getting into a relationship may seem tempting but so was getting on the titanic ship and look what happened there.  ❜ ❛  there’s always gonna be that one person who you can’t get out of your mind, no matter how hard you try.  ❜ ❛  i ship me and money.  ❜ ❛  have you ever met someone who’s smile looks like it could make flowers grow?  ❜ ❛  how do i get over someone i never dated?  ❜ ❛  i have a very big crush on you but sadly i am only a little bug and you are a garden.  ❜ ❛  if you grab my face right before you kiss me, i’ll definitely fall in love with you.  ❜ ❛  i don’t like your clothes, take them off.  ❜ ❛  put me in the coffin with both middle fingers up.  ❜ ❛  dying is taking too long.  ❜ ❛  being cremated is my last hope of getting a hot, smoking body.  ❜ ❛  don’t joke about murder. i was murdered once and it offends me.  ❜ ❛  you can’t spell school without ‘ i want to stab myself. ’  ❜ ❛  good news, everyone: dogs.  ❜ ❛  if you think it’s impossible to fall asleep to heavy metal, then you’re completely wrong.  ❜
Avatar

“So, he got me a teddy bear, but we fought and he tore off it’s head.”

Avatar
Image

It seems thatValentine’s day wasn’t so great for everyone—especially for young Gaby and herlukewarm coffee (Solo and his heartbreakingnews made the liquid take a wrong turn and end up where it shouldn’t be).Trying to regain some composure and remove the shameful evidence of a laughterfrom her face, Gaby dabbed an adorable napkin over her mouth. “That’s the mostridiculous thing I’ve ever heard Solo. And yet it sounds true.”

Tapping the spacebeside her in the sofa, she gave Napoleon a sympathetic smile. “Come here andI’ll try to sort it out with you, tell me what happened.”

Avatar
@ib00-28   / STARTER CALL.
          ❝   IMPECCABLE FASHION SENSE. really.  ❞       a distinctly american inflection is offered from between pale-painted lips, blood red hair hidden beneath a black cloche as she lifts the cup betwixt her fingers for an approving GESTURE towards the other sitting at the table across from her own.
image

There was nothing spectacular about the double-breasted coat and its light papaya shade, maybe the only thing that stood out was the contrast against almond eyes, gleaming towards her companion. It was great finding other women in their field of work—especially someone with such an impressive record. “Thank you, dearest. Can you believe I’ve found it on a small shop just outside London?” Gaby speared the mille-feuille with her fork with a large smile. “Somethings just show up sometimes and you have to take a chance, right?”

She single-handed took a manila folder from her coat, sliding it discreetly to Natasha. “A man like this, with such an exotic background ” Namely a former Nazi trying to stir some trouble. “only comes up a few times… Do you have anything for me?”

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.