Just heard from my doctor they're gonna have to put me down next week because I fucking suck

Looks great Senator!

I looooove going the speed limit. the people behind me sure don't tho

im going 45 in a 45 and the guy behind me's like i hope she never sees the gates of heaven

Don’t treat me rough treat me really niceys

those is mcdonalds jeans?

Fun fact: those McDonald’s jeans are part of the standard uniform here in Colombia. I’ve tried at least 16x to ask where they source them, if I can buy them from the manager, even going McDonald’s not to order food but just to ask for the jeans. I asked someone high up in their marketing dept here to see if maybe they know which company sourced them, and still couldn’t get my hands on a pair. Apparently employees only get one pair per year. They’re slightly high-waisted, they taper very slightly, they’re always kind of high water at the bottom, and they’re the perfect light jean color. They’re not stiff, they’re not that stretchy, they’re the perfect denim material. They come with a cloth belt that’s either yellow or turquoise, and the stitching on the M is almost sensual. I will not give up

theres a hourse in the dirve through

could you please stay on topic

your honor, in my defense: who cares like omfggggggggg who cares???????????? like. come On

apple bomb jeeans

boots with the fuse

people who are new to tumblr go into your account settings and go to the part that says deactivate account. follow that pages instructions no matter what. thank me later

"ingredients you can pronounce" "all natural" "organic" "no chemicals"

i think im in love with you

*hands you a cartoon bomb with a lit fuse* this is our son 

*holds him close* he’s so beautiful. what’s that hissing sound though

he just wants milk 

“why dont you just give him a chance”

idk because im not physically or mentally attracted to him and ‘but he likes you’ or ‘but hes really nice’ isnt going to change the fact that im not interested

Damn, I don’t think women know how much that really hurts

I tumblr! My name is Elaine. You can see me in this picture! That is me holding the sign, HI! Well my hubby said that if this gets 1 MILLION notes, he will buy me a horse. I would love a horse I grew up on a farm where I rode and ate horses til i was 15 when I moved. I have not seen a horse since, not even a picture! Only one painting I painted in 7th grade. My husband obviously thinks this is going to be an impossible task thats why I am taking this on the interwebs where i can get likes. I have 5,000 on facebook so I am almost there. I want brown horse with some white. I will braid the hair. Thanks so much everyone! Please help me achieve this! :) God Bless

this post has been around since before the precambrien era and we aren’t even close. this website is useless

happy 2sday everyone. it is the 2nd day of the 2nd month of the 22nd year and it is tuesday

Actually I think it would be very funny if Tumblr kept banning words, until all our posts have to confine to pre-made templates like dark souls messages

"President, be wary of thief and shoelaces"

"Bus ahead, be wary of cis"

"Hurray for Homeless Style!"

anyone know a doctor .. think i might have hep the tight is 😔

im a doctow! and a cewtified suwgeon! uwu

get weady, cebaus we awe gonna make you awwwww bettew!  =^-^=

u know what i’d rather die