Woozy in Uncontrollably Fond (´･ω･`)

‘Black Label’ - Whites [article]

Huhu. Yes, I said that. There was a time when I really looked like a cotton bud stick. Today, when I was monitoring my work, I feel that I’ve grown rounder around the chin. I have to deal with that but dieting is getting so tiresome for me.

No, I have to keep dieting. I used to be ‘ skinny since birth’, but nowadays a lot of male actors would do a lot of exercise, so I also trained for the swimming scenes in ‘No Breathing’ and shower scenes in ‘Doctor Stranger’. It was so busy back then but I would still exercise and go on a special diet. Since I couldn’t ear much back then, now I seem to have developed a desire for food. Like today, everyone is drinking Americano coffee (black coffee) but I’m drinking really sweet coffee, see?

Yep, that’s right. I hate doing sports. A while back, I wanted to get out of the house so I started doing horse-riding and rock-climbing, but it’s so tiring. If I were doing it for a project then I can stick with it, since I set a goal for myself, but it is exhausting to do it for fun. I’m really the type to only work at it if someone is beside me pushing me. Even if I am at home, I don’t exercise at all; but occasionally there would be CF filmings and stuff… Wa, it’s so tiresome.

Perhaps so. Sometimes I really think I don’t want to be a star, but even if I did other jobs, people know my face already, so… (laughs) In the past, I’ve said I wanted to be the owner of a coffee shop. Wouldn’t that be great?

It is heavy… but I have to do my best even if it’s heavy. 40 billion is enough for around eight movies. But there is another reason I chose a Chinese drama, besides the production cost. Recently, Korean dramas have started to complete production before broadcast – the reason is to be able to air it at the same time in China*.  If it’s like that, then I feel that it’s not bad to pick a project that is written by Chinese writers and matches the cultural elements of China.

* I am suspecting that since anything that broadcasts in China has to pass through its censor department so usually China requires the filming to be done before buying the rights.

Emotions are conveyed through facial expressions. As for the dialogue of the other actors, you can find out from reading the script. There shouldn’t be any problems capturing the emotions. When I was at school, I would watch exchange students from China while they act. Although their Korean is still not completely fluent, but you can feel the emotions. It’s the same idea.

I will finish filming quickly and return when the weather becomes warm. I plan to decide on my next project while I am China – the plan right now is to go for drama first.

I like movies a lot as well. For most actors, their final destination is on the silver screen. But somehow I feel more familiar with tv dramas. I feel that there are a lot of fans waiting for me so if I do a drama, I’ll get to present myself to them more quickly. We’ll meet on television soon~ 

Yes, besides in a sitcom (High Kick 3), none of my characters have had both his parents. Somehow when I read scripts, I seem to lean towards that kind of scripts. I slightly prefer movies or dramas that is rich in melancholy.

My role. I would definitely look at that first, but lately I’ve also started to pay attention to the role opposite mine. I would consider if that role can help mine as well, since I am the kind of actor that can be greatly helped [by a good role opposite mine]. My emotions will naturally move up and down according to the opposite role. So I pay special attention to how the male and female characters react to one another.

There’s nothing to be done about that. It could be because of where I started. People still label me with ‘model-turned-actor’ from time to time. So I just have to work harder.

About three years ago, there was a time when I kept saying that. That was when (Lee) Boyoung-noona was getting married. The year I was 25, I did five projects. I was so tired and busy that I kept thinking how wonderful it would be to settle down. Especially after hearing Boyoung-noona, who is like a real sister to me, was getting married… my heart became quite set on that. (laughs) Of course I don’t have plans to get married now.

Yep, that’s true. I;m 28 now and would be 30 before I know it. Some say that a man’s life really begins at 30, but when I was monitoring myself just now, I feel that I still look like a teenager. How can I look more like a man? I’m always worried about that.

(after a long period of thinking) Perhaps it’s a little too easy to say ‘I’ll work as hard as a ox*? Then I’ll just go with a practical resolution: I promise to fill up my quota of three projects this year!

* This used to be the phrase he was known for, so much so that Korean fans call him Lee Jong Ox.

I’ve just been at home. (laughs) Coming to the film set today… I actually haven’t left home for a long time. I thought about a lot of stuff while I was at home – not about anything important though. Oh! I watched a lot of dramas. I really love watching dramas. I’ll also practise my acting while watching. Actually, there were times lately where I’ve become scared of acting.

Of course I would. That’s why I’ve been attending acting classes, going to school and acting with people in my year and some junior actors. Don’t know why, but somehow I’ve become more nervous when acting, compared to before.

There’s so much to be envious about in the world. I am most envious when I watch people who are good at acting. To be truthful, my image as an actor rides very much on my appearance. That’s why I am particular envious of male actors who have a masculine face. That’s something I don’t have. Whether this is an obstacle I can never overcome, or it’s an obstacle that I can one day overcome with tons of hard work… it’s something I am always thinking about deeply. Well, even when I think much about it, there really isn’t any conclusion. I guess there is a need for masculine actors and also actors like me, right? (laughs)

I don’t like leaving the house and I never have anything I want to do in particular. But acting is something that is always captures my interest the most. So I tend to retain my memory of the past through the projects I was in – I’ve been in projects continuously since I debuted, if you think about it. These days, since I’ve spent too much time without a project, I’ve started to feel empty, which must be why I said that in an interview. I felt like time was passing way too quickly.

I felt a little weird writing a couple name. I felt that Taek’s character is extremely charismatic, which is why I like him. (laugh)

’Six Flying Dragons’, ‘Oh My Venus’. I follow most varieties too. When I watch the actors of my age, I would pay special attention to their acting skills. Byun Yo Han in ‘Six Flying Dragons’ can really do romantic acting very well. His gaze is excellent and his expressions when conveying emotions are also really well-done. He really manages to convey the feelings of the character in an honest manner, I feel? 

Which is why I made a special request: Wherever we live, it must be able to receive Korean tv channels. Haha.

It’s true though. Even if I call someone ‘noona’ the first time I meet her, I am still really awkward around strangers.  I am especially shy in front of my sunbaes. I don’t really know why this is but I just somehow find it difficult. It happened again a few days ago: when I went to a film premiere and saw a lot of sunbaes, my back became wet with sweat. It’s so easy to tell when I am flustered. My face would turn completely red.

Is that so? Actually I do feel that, as time goes on. Haha.

I went to my grandmother’s house. Rather than having a heart-stirring time, it made me make some decisions about life. I decided to do a lot of projects this year. You usually would do interviews around the new year, so I would always talk about how many projects I want to do the following year. But I didn’t do it for 2015. So this year, I made the decision to be in at least three projects.

It probably will be tough. Though it’s very tough, I will endure it. Because I’m always so happy when I see it broadcasted.

I exercise almost every day. During this rest period, I wanted to really train up my body for once, so I even went for bulking up exercises. However, now I feel my body is too broad so I doing it less. I also tried horse-riding and rock-climbing, but gave up both in the end. Riding a horse made my butt hurt more than expected and my fingers got all scratched up after rock-climbing. (laughs)

Well, since there’s nothing particular to cut my hair for, so I didn’t do so. I also had no idea what kind of project I’d be doing next, so I just let it grow long. Maybe I’ll need long hair for my next role.

That would look weird and unnatural. I still regret not letting my hair grow long for my role in ‘The Face Reader’. (T/N: Er, how about Namsoon which was filmed at the same time…)

No. I feel it gets harder. It’s getting quite serious; I’m more nervous now than I was when I first debuted. Back when I began to act, it wasn’t hard for me to look my acting partner in the eye, but gradually I started escaping for his/her gaze. It was so difficult for me to stare straight into both eyes that I actually started to look at one eye of my partner. The audience can’t really tell through the camera lens but I just focus on his/her right eye… I can’t receive all of the emotions from the other person though.

You’re right. Even when I am acting, I can’t act in a direct manner. I go to acting class with Go Kyung Pyo and even when we are acting from the same script, that friend and I have extremely different styles. I would analyze the scene in detail and plan out my movements before beginning; meanwhile, he acts on pure animalistic instinct. I can’t do that. Whenever I see actors with such raw talent, I look up to that. Even now, if my acting exceeds the boundaries I’ve set for myself, even for just a little bit, I would start to blush with embarrassment. I feel so ashamed and frustrated, perhaps it’s because I have such a desire to act well. I will search for the interviews done by sunbae actors; when they talk about their own struggles, it becomes my source of strength. I would think, ‘Ah, so even sunbaes talk about this’.

Many times. When I was checking the photos we took in Paris, I saw the creases/wrinkles around my mouth, and it shocked me so much. I thought about it a lot in my hotel room… I think I’m not the type to grow old in a handsome way. I feel like I can’t become a handsome veteran actor with wrinkles.

I picked those roles on purpose. Ever since ‘I Hear Your Voice’, I’ve been terrifed that people will only see me as a ‘rising star’. I wish to become a real actor so i wanted to show them – “I can do it to this extent”. Not only those handsome but superficial roles, I think these ‘image-wrecking roles’ can display my acting potential more clearly.

I become really awkward when I am with people I don’t know well. Even though I really want to be close with sunbae actors, but once I’m in a place with lots of strangers, my face flushes red and I just want to escape. At award ceremonies that are filled with strangers, I would be asked to give a speech although I’m dying inside. Even before I go on stage, I’m already thinking of how I can convey my thoughts earnestly but concisely, so that I can get off the stage. My speech would be as short as possible, without crossing the line into sounding insincere. 

I really want to change now. I want to be able to say hi to my juniors and seniors comfortably, listen to their advice on acting. I want to be able to confide all my troubles in someone, but it’s still not easy. Therefore, I tend to listen to my fans a lot, since they are my source of strength.

Hm… I hate the whole push and pull for the bill when I go out for dinner with friends, even as a joke. Even back when I didn’t have money, I would pay for it. Even if I end up with no taxi money. That’s it.

I probably won’t. Because there’s nothing to remember. A project to a year is like… if I filmed something that year, I’ll remember that year when I think of the project. I didn’t leave anything behind this year.

I’ll do many projects next year. After this period of rest, I think it’s only right to work a lot. I am not a person who can rest. When I have a lot of time, it doesn’t mean I am relaxed. Now my head is full of all kinds of thoughts, I want to get rid of them; fill my head with nothing but work.

I actually don’t really like travelling. Usually, when I’m on a trip, I only wake up after noon and start moving quite slowly. However, for this trip, I woke up really early every day. I went to Montmartre and also Eiffel Tower.

Yes. I felt like I was dying. (points at chest) Here, all the passion for acting didn’t get to be released. Even yesterday, I watched three episodes of ‘Pinocchio’ back-to-back starting from 4am until the sun rose. I even said the dialogue I remember back then. All this time spent not acting feels like such a waste.

At first, my thinking was like this. Generally, actors do not take two dramas a year, so I was wondering if viewers were getting tired of me. I wanted to take a break before coming out again. I wanted to put more thought into my choice of projects and show a new side of my acting. Ever since I debuted, I have always been acting in movies and dramas alternately. Naturally, I would want to do a movie after ‘Pinocchio’. Even if it wasn’t a lead role, I’ve been looking forward to acting with veteran actors, Ah, I had no idea I would just pass the year like this. It’s a shock to me as well. (laugh)

No matter what it is, if it is an opportunity to work with veteran actors, I would learn a lot from it. That was how it was with ‘The Face Reader’. Since I was a rookie actor then, I would often be more reserved in my acting. Since I didn’t have much experience, there was still a lot lacking in my performance. When I watched ‘The Face Reader’ back then, I was very dissatisfied with the way I acted, to the extent that I found it difficult to watch myself on the screen. I can reveal this now. After that, I improved a lot; I think something in my acting had an awakening after ‘The Face Reader’.

When I stand on the side and watch veteran actor, I will feel the substantial difference with the acting of our ages. It’s totally in a different league. The skills are so different. When veteran actors are doing a scene, I would observe their skills and even the way they breathe… the more I watch, the more I learn. Of course, even if I learn it, I may not be able to present it in the same way. However, as I mimic them, I can get a general idea and direction, right?

Even when I was working nonstop, I make it a point to watch the projects of other actors around my age. Just to learn even one thing more from them. I wanted to know, for people who have lived the same amount of life as I have, how do they express their emotions? I’ll watch it well and then maybe use it somewhere, that’s what I thought. Although I had no breaks between projects, I continued my learning in such a way, making for the parts I am lacking in. 

By the way, during this blank period of nearly a year, I somehow can’t think of any particular thing I would like to try next time. It’s almost like, the more I rest, the more I can’t come up with what weapon to use in the next project. While not acting, I didn’t experience much growth or satisfation. This is my biggest concern right now. Before, I would rest for at most a month between projects. Sometimes I even think if I had used up all my spirit on my previous works. When I am flooded with work, I would want to take a break. But now that I have rested for more than three months, I realize I am not the kind of person who can ever stop acting.

I take classes with rookie actor friends every week. I also take the acting classes at university. It’s so much fun. At school, I take classes with students who mostly have no acting experience. On a technical level, I might do better than them, but their acting feels good even if they are slightly green. Among the students, there is an exchange student from China; although his (her?) Korean isn’t that fluent, you really feel his emotions purely through his acting. When it’s my turn, I really put my all into it. Everybody is focusing on me a lot.

My pronunciation isn’t great, but I would pronounce every word precisely in class. I even got praised for my pronunciation for the first time in my life! I actually don’t like talking all that much, or perhaps I should say that I am too lazy to speak? Usually, my diction is a bit slurred; even when I’m at home, I don’t like using the phone and prefers texting instead.

I actually have a strong inferiority complex, especially when it comes to things I really want to do and do well in. Thus, I must look at myself with more objectivity. That’s the only way for me to turn something impossible into something I can do in my own way. Take this example. My voice is not as broad as other actor’s so I can’t really do well in scenes with a lot of shouting. If such a scene comes up in my script, then I will try to approach it with a different method. I will check and monitor my work very closely, watching it again and again. When I watch my scenes repeatedly, at some point the ‘me’ on screen will start to feel like a separate person, then I can truly be objective about my acting.

Although I was trying to pretend to be calm… I was actually so nervous that I forgot to greet the fans again… there was nothing in my mind except quickly finishing the greetings and then going back inㅠㅠ Thank you, I love you all so very much!! (It’s true!!) I know what you are worried about, I know what you want… so I will do my best!! Then… I’m… off to eat eel now…

아무렇지 않은 척했지만. 너무 떨려가지고 우리 팬들한테 인사하는 걸 또 놓쳤네.. 빨리 인사하고 들어가야지 밖에 생각이 없었음ㅠㅠ 고맙고 매우 많이 사랑해!! (진짜야!!) 뭘 걱정하는지 뭘 원하는지 잘 알고 있으니까.. 내가 잘할게!! 그럼.. 난.. 장어 먹으러.. 

(cr: LJS instagram 20151009)