you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years

Explain your reasoning plzzz

It'd take 27.4 years to earn $10,000,000 at $1,000 a day. Who the hell knows if I'll live that long? Not to mention interest on that $10,000,000 that I could get by taking it all now and managing it well.

quick poll, i'm curious and going insane

what would you estimate you spend each week on takeout + groceries? amounts in USD because i'm USAmerican

SO fun fact about me, dragon age is literally my favourite game series of all time and I think about it every day and I have for like 13 years.

I've also NEVER done fanart for it before because like. I love it so much it feels like nothing I draw could ever do those feelings justice?? but I'm trying to change that before dreadwolf so here's a zevran!!

Expect much more to come in the future 💖💖

original: https://twitter.com/Manda_like_wine/status/977299937963765761

My god this is applicable to so many situations: this is in no way a WE situation.

I love all this. So good. And I once saw a friend pull out the ONLY ACCEPTABLE PARENT LINE in a situation like this: “Are you hurt, or just scared?” IT WAS LIKE MAGIC. The kid paused, inhaled, looked down at the body part in question, then looked back up and said, all calm again, “Oh, just scared!” and back to business as usual.

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

Dart

Dark

bark

Lark

Lurk

Lure

Sure

Surf

Serf

Self

Seld

Meld

Mold

Mole

Hole

Bole

Bolt

Boat

Boar

Soar

Soap

Soup

Soul

Sour

Soul

Foul

Fowl

Bowl

Bawl

Ball

Tall

Fall

fail

foil

Soil

Toil

Coil

Boil

Boll

Every time I like or reblog a post, I leave a little bit of man residue on it

Every time I reply or add commentary to a reblog, that’s five times as much man residue

Me following your blog means your whole blog has man residue

I’m spreading it everywhere

@jaekaeyay here ya go

oh my fucking god. she’s unironically saying men have cooties

Now that this has blown up, I want everyone reblogging it to know their blog has man residue on it

Reblog to get man residue on your blog

This post made it onto Reddit and then a YouTube video which means I’ve exposed multiple websites to my man residue

Happy 100k notes to this post

"This story is a tragedy because it didn't have to end this way."

vs

"This story is a tragedy because it was always going to end this way."

#a REALLY good tragedy is locked in quantum uncertainty between these two states

top tier character-building device in pokemon games is when a seemingly antagonistic character has a golbat on their team and then later has it evolved into a crobat, which requires significant friendship, thus signalling that the character was always a kind person inside (plumeria), is growing past their issues and learning to be kinder (silver), may hold a spark of kindness that undermines their cold and calculating image (cyrus), etc etc

Meanwhile, Ghetsis—who is an antagonist who pretends to be an advocate for Pokemon rights—faces off against you with an under-leveled Hydreigon, which in the canon lore of the series only happens when someone forces evolution early, and that Hydreigon uses a full-power Frustration in B2W2, suggesting that it absolutely loathes Ghetsis.

For any non-pokemon players:

In pokemon games, there’s a hidden stat called friendship, which maxes out at 255 points; there are two (major) moves that are affected by this:

Return, which gets stronger the higher a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping at 102 base power with 255 friendship (for context, hyper beam has a base power of 150)

And frustration, which does the opposite, getting stronger the lower a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping out at 102 base power when the pokemon is at 0 friendship

The EXTRA fucked up thing is, almost NO pokemon has a base friendship of 0. The only pokemon that do are legendary pokemon and buneary. So Ghetsis actively lowered his Hydreigon’s friendship, and the only way to do that in-game is to let your pokemon faint often without using healing items on them

In other words Ghetsis is a major cunt

wh

what’s up with buneary???

Buneary fucking hates you by default. It’s also another friendship-dependent evolution line.

for others who are clueless in the poking men, this is the tiny bunny that fucking hates you

Bunneary hates your guts with the force of Gods

before the poll, a quick definition of terms:

with that out of the way:

I forgot Cassie Animorphs and I am so so sorry

the "what-to-do-about-the-ring" chapters, but from the perspective of elronds oath-related trauma

all text from Fellowship of the Ring (council of elrond + the ring goes south), except the snippets of the Oath, which i believe is from the Shibboleth of Feanor

inspired by this post