You probably don’t even check this anymore, but I’ve needed to say something about it for almost a decade and this is the only way I know how.
I was moving my things out of my old closet, and I came across my old phone. For nostalgias sake I charged it and found every single message you and I had sent each other before I changed phones. I definitely cringed at some of the things younger us said but I still laughed about it because you were definitely the funniest person I knew. i wanted to thank you for everything and for how good of a person you are. It’s been almost a decade since we talked last. Regardless of all the dumb shit I probably said that I didn’t think was dumb at the time, you never acted cold to me. You were always the most genuine person and the easiest to talk to.
I became someone I look back at now and hate, and regret, and feel the need to personally apologize for. You’ve probably forgotten since, but I think you noticed, and I wish I could go back to tell my younger self not to act stupid. We talked less and less and went from all day every day to nothing at all. I think about it more frequently than I probably should, but for some very strange reason the past three days my mind has been nothing but preoccupied with making sure you know I’m sorry.
i don’t know if it’s some closure thing my subconscious is forcing down my throat or what, I’m not the closure type of person, but I just feel regret. I miss our friendship. That’s all. i really hope you’re thriving, and that you’ve found happiness, you’ve always deserved the world.
I don’t know if it was coincidence or intuition at play, but I can’t remember the last time I opened this app, let alone checked my notifications. But I looked yesterday and this had just been sent.
I wish I could answer this privately. I have an idea of who you may be, but regardless, I appreciate this message. Not because I need to be apologized to, but because it’s nice to know I’m remembered kindly all these years later. I’m sorry you’ve felt so much negatively about yourself. Growing up is hard and I hope you have made some peace with yourself.
I’ll check this again in case you want to reconnect in a more personal capacity. If not, I wish you all the best ❤️
