Gotta Be Above It

I only every come on here to vent and then disappear into the abyss, but that’s what my blog has become.

So long story short I “finished” second semester in April, but my prof in charge of placement was ignoring my emails and I ended up having to go back to do an extra 2 weeks of placement starting this past Monday. And she said I needed to email some stuff to her and that she would be in contact with me but guess who’s been ignoring my emails again for another week and a half 🙃

Honestly I’m gonna lose my mind. Being in this placement is making my depression flare up because of the stupid book I have to fill out and the fact that I’ve been stressing over this during my trips to Atlanta and New York. And the fact that I’m still fucking doing placement during my summer break when I should have finished in April because this prof doesNT ANSWER HER DAMN EMAILS.

I swear I’ve considered fully dropping out of this program almost every day since the start of this year but I’m trying my hardest to resist and just power through it. But it seems like almost every prof in this program has a mission to make the experience miserable and frustrating. No wonder 50% of the students in this program drop out before graduating!!! I don’t blame them!!

Y’all this semester is highkey making my depression so much worse. Like semester 1 was the most stress I’ve ever experienced, but I still did well, both academically and (somewhat) mentally. While this semester... I’m just so miserable. I’m doing poorly in all of my classes. I have no motivation. Hardly any of the classes actually interest me. I feel apathetic. I’m so exhausted all the time. And no matter how hard I study, nothing sticks. They told us during orientation that 25% of techs drop out in semester 2 and now I see why. I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna do this but I need to..

This one girl I used to be friends with makes me soooo angry. In the past she kept adopting kittens only to give them away a month later. And now she adopted a 10 week old puppy and only lasted a week and a half with it before she’s giving it away again. Like!!!!!! If you can’t take care of it, DONT GET A PET. Pets are a huge responsibility. They aren’t a toy or just a prop for cute photos. They are family members! And like ok if she only did it once then maybe I’d be more understanding, but this is literally her fourth or fifth time doing it!!! Like for the love of god, STOP GETTING PETS YOU CANT TAKE CARE OF!!