shut the hell your fuck

Me and this fat kid, 

we ran, we ate, and read books. 

And it was the best.

Unrest

Structuralism is based on the assumption that concepts exist in differentiation via contrast and conflict with their binary opposites. The concept of “calm” is embodied by its counterpart, “unrest”. “X” is defined as “not Y”. This structure forms language. The post-structuralist argues that if the meaning of a word is bound up in what does not mean, then meaning is not achieved. If “love” means “the opposite of hate”, this says more about what “love” is not than what it is. 

The structuralist would tell me that I am defined more by what I am not than anything else. I am not happy. I am not wanted. I am not whole. But I am not an antonym to any of these. The post structuralist will tell me that my lacking is not enough to define me, and that my meaning escapes through the cracks in what I am not. But this leaves me nameless. 

If I am built from the lack of that which I oppose, then let me bear into the earth all the nothingness I take with me when I die. Black out the sun and place it in my palm, that I may leave you all in the dark appreciation of what you now know as the absence of light. Let me be the absence of all you are. I embody your emptiness. I am your anti.  

I was young when I wrote this

Gilda (1946) dir. Charles Vidor

Tarek Mawad

Eros and Psyche, Gustav Vigeland (1908)

Find it deep inside the house, where no one ever goes—down a lightless hallway, in the darker rooms below.

By Nicola Samori

‘Noir’