균형

@jiminspx-blog / jiminspx-blog.tumblr.com

I play defender at the center for the never enough. You called it losing my way , I called it levelling up.
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HI!

I’m... alive? uh yeah some shit went down and I just lost all life energy-- casually pops up months later. ha. ha. is anyone even gonna see this idk but I’m posting anyway bc I missed like every single person and feel like an absolute ass for disappearing ;; i see the rp died too sob

so ye i haven’t rped since, this, but just got back on track and have a new muse ( here ) if anyone’s interested. also feel free to add me on aim ( xwhalien ) if you wanna.. chat, whatever.

I’d say I wouldn’t mind trying to pick things up here again if anyone’s around but, I assume people moved on 

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meme

4. Who did they look up to the most as a child? Who do they look up to as an adult?

To be honest a lot of the leads in the movies he watched as a kid, he’s always appreciated those who know who they are and what they want, who posses strength not just for protecting others but themselves, and most of all are steadfast in their beliefs and kind to those who deserve it ( in his eyes every single person, if they’re not complete douches like his dad ). Right now there’s no figure in his life he’d put in that pedestal, and he’s been rather particulate about being against such with a real person, it’s harmful to shine a light on anyone that way. He’s also realized life is far from movies, but he’s taken lot of influence from them regardless and now tries to be the person who could be someone worth looking up for, himself.

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meme

1. What foods do they love, and what foods do they refuse to eat?

Anything spicy is his favorite to eat and he’s generally not picky about what sort of dishes to make, he prefers to have a lot of variety too and try different things. Junk food is a bit of guilty pleasure of his even if he’s perfectly aware of how it affects his body, and there’s not much nutrition to gain, yet he wont refuse a burger ever ( Mina can vouch for that ). Mainly he tries to maintain a healthy diet, breakfast usually consist of a variation of fruit/vegetables/nuts/yogurt smoothie. ( Raw ) fish is something he just haven’t gotten into however, tries have been made.

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espionkrp

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT MEME

Greetings, Espion! We thought it was about time for another meme! This time the focus is on character development! Send a number to your fellow members and answer some questions you receive about your muse you may not have thought about before! Reblog this post to let people know you’re keen to do this, and remember to send as many numbers as you receive; don’t leave people out! Prompt ideas credited to apeacebone.

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reblogged

Cute Lil’ Limpet || Scarlet&Jimin

@jiminspx

Headquarters was not a friendly place, not for Scarlet– most people wouldn’t put up with her attitude; truth to be told she was too blunt sometimes, and that smug face she carried around most of the time was quite annoying for a lot of people, though she didn’t really cared much. However there was this kid who was all the opposite, he was the most persistent, annoying little cutie one could ever imagine– seriously, whenever she heard his voice cooing at the end of the hallway along with his rushed steps towards her, Scarlet wished he would hate her like everybody else does.

She was not quite sure what she did to gain his respect– to have him so attached to her like limpet; though she had to admit it was quite amusing, she enjoyed attention after all, but she feared growing attached to him as well; he reminded her of herself on her younger ages too much, so she just pushed him away every time to keep him on his own lane. 

“What do you want now, kid?” she said keeping a dull expression as she didn’t even bothered to raised her gaze from the mirror she was holding up in front of her.

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     Scarlet was the sort of person he made point to bother every now and then, for no good reason particularly other than to humor both of them, yet even if he was devoid clear purpose respect was felt in full. Honestly this wasn’t special in itself, he held genuine admiration for most everyone who put themselves out there on the line for the betterment of society and what have you, and those who aided in other ways in achieving a safe environment, ridding of the rotten parts.

     “Noona!” He had expected the borderline unwelcoming front, but she hasn’t yet cussed him out nor outright told him to get lost, in way that’d intone any genuine resentment over his appearance so he’s more than happy to believe she doesn’t mind his visits. “Can’t I drop by to see how my fave techie is doing?” Playful smile adorning features his steps halt in front of her, taking in the supposedly indifferent posture and dismissing it entirely in favor of delivering request he’d made approach for, this time.

     “Actually I kind of need your expertise to help with a.. piece of equipment for this low profile mission I’m handling. If you’re not busy right now.” Polite above all a mild teasing could be hinted in tone of voice, he’s almost certain she’d lend a hand in this quest anyway, considering Scarlet didn’t seem to be in the middle of anything of vital importance. Nor has she denied him anything yet, really.

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⋯cue ⟬pjm+bdn⟭

At the allegedly compliment, the older woman could only smile in response. Finding the shy nature rather refreshing. Sun wasn’t a person who liked being noticed as it meant having people being curios in her. But in this case, the raven head would let it slide as the attention she was receiving was coming from an agent and from someone she knew.

Sun was slightly concerned that Jimin would pause each time he spoke. As if afraid that if he choose the wrong choice of word, he would feel her fury. The older woman decided to ignore such behavior as there was no point in pointing it out. The younger male wouldn’t be able to change it within 5 seconds or so anyway. If he was comfortable speaking like this, then so be it.

“No, I haven’t been up there for a long time.” Sun responded with a nod on the head. “Were you a fan or something?” she then proceeded to ask, “You seem to pay quite a large amount of attention on me. My skills in the ring can’t be that good now can it?” she ended her sentence with a chuckle.  

     He knew that, without confirmation even but curiosity burned bright still over reasoning, why she suddenly stopped and why she was here now at all. Same reason as him? Perhaps, though comparison couldn’t quite be made on same grounds between them, still. Old habits die hard.

     “Not your scene anymore? Something like that, I guess.” Sheepish chuckle carried confession, and he’s certain it would not have been first one in its kind, despite the whispers and praise of years past being that of more discreet in her ears, he’s heard and waxed poetic about it plenty times himself alone. He would have allowed the embarrassment of statement over interest shown and subtly spoken of to wash over had it not been for the comment of disbelief from her side.

     “I think you’re the best. Many do, I’m sure. I know for fact.” His rebuttal was too quick to even pretend to sound casual, but he refused to let that paint anything else but genuine, professional admiration on his features. “From what I’ve seen, of course, I’m not probably qualified to make proper assessment beside personal opinion. But.. yeah, you were pretty great. Not to say you aren’t still.” And maybe, in wake of shaken resolve he’d set to chasing after the fluidness of her movements upon a time, wondering, quite plenty times if he looked anywhere close to as effortless when moving on the field.

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⋯reverie ⟬pjm+kjh⟭

Jonghyun’s gaze remained still on the male, eyes tracing the contours of his face as the younger downed the substance without difficulty, and the image brought him back to a time he wouldn’t give a damn whether he’d inhaled or exhaled intoxication, so long it provided an escaping site. It was a bitter awareness the one that likewise woke him out of this state, the same he hauled with his every footstep, balanced on his shoulders as the truth he’d carry like an anchor. He couldn’t help the poignant sensation of envy that coursed through his body, which he experienced as he dragged his eyes off him and reached for a glass vial on the sink to his left. 

He had no reason to relive the past at the sight of someone else, however little this person in fact reminded him of it, or how much. He wasn’t that far back as of age to feel so constantly sour at his memories, and while it was certainly not a choice; he reflexively felt anger brewing, because likewise by human nature he prideful, and by receiving the bad end anyone would’ve gathered something akin to irritation. He liked things to go his way, albeit at the moment he was unable to pin point the direction of this encounter (which, as ever, irked him). 

Jonghyun dragged his pupils to the male at his response, a genuine smile tugging the corners of his lips. He paused the motion on his hands and placed the a new container to his side, preparing another drink as requested for the other male. A chuckle spilled from his mouth soon after, and Jonghyun shook his head. “It’s something I give sometimes to troublemakers.” He stated as he grabbed a bottle from under the counter, lowering his entire frame for a few seconds however continuously speaking as he moved. “also to people who really just say ‘give me the good stuff’ and this is how i call their bluff.” he came back up again, finally onto mixing. The smile, regardless, wasn’t wiped of his face just yet. “all the same, I do like to please my costumers like that.” He winked at him.

“You sure you can take it though? wouldn’t like to see you well, indisposed.” He poured the newly made solution inside a glass he placed beyond the younger as he looked at him. “and I didn’t expect you.. to be a heavy weight.” His words were tinged with humor as he echoed his previous intonation over his antecedent comment (it was an odd angle he hadn’t seen of the younger, though understanding they weren’t close enough to see many but those they shared through that instance in their lives they became partners, thus, his surprise was rather foreseen, but not for his own against his inquire. He just, couldn’t seem to fathom it directed at him for all the implications it lead to), nonetheless knowing he hadn’t replied, he added: “but i guess we’ll see who’s the one surprised here.” he said, and lightly pushed the sweeter drink to Jimin. “Where would you expect me to work, then?” He asked with utter curiosity, tilting his head, and somehow the action felt relieving. He’d been holding back ever since the younger arrived.

     Remembrance wasn’t sudden but more a lingering image on his peripheral waiting for attention given, the swirl of dark bitterness familiar after-taste of a summer spent losing himself in order to find solace within and answers to questions he did not possess courage to ask at all. It seemed farther away now, a blurry dream and forgotten faces most left behind, daring touches and bruised skin a newfound religion he committed to with alarming readiness. He can’t recall half of it, and perhaps that is preferred now as he’s less certain what purpose had been on venturing down path of discovery holding hands with destruction.

     Despite leaving drinking back to those days tolerance had grown, he’s never been apt with applying limit where one should reside, never quite managed to tap out when retreat was already overdue and left a caustic taste on tongue, biting down on bile that threatened to rise up. ‘Too much’ was a sentiment uttered out loud when realization hit too late, always too late, but no one would care regardless had he been standing upright at all, universe spinning out of grasp with the chill of the floor a salvaging focus in the myriad of colors hanging over, cheek hurting after too long and breathing through the vertigo until sleep came, or didn’t. Sometimes, Kwangho found him upon reappearing from where the fuck ever he usually went on those nights once they arrived ( he never questioned, the other didn’t tell, that was the unspoken agreement ) dragging the both of their weights back to the apartment with more or less slurred complaints colouring the trip through early morning chill as they tripped over nothing.

      He’s lost in memories of misplaced sentiment for beat too long, head snapping up when the light sound of amuse filled ears through the bass of the music, small grin of own almost automatic in response when he heeded words, “You think me as a troublemaker? I’m but a harmless bee in a meadow of flowers.” Snort was followed with a heavy chuckle, wiggle of brows quick as he took yet another sip, finding odd comfort in the subtle burn. “Aren’t you noble. How many have fallen from grace then?” Lips curl into a bemused smile, eyes downcast for moment as he regarded the potent concoction in grasp.

     Responding hum left the male without proper answer, Jimin wasn’t sure it would be welcomed -- by either -- had he dropped confession that otherwise wouldn’t be too weird, or possibly uncommon in the establishment, but given their past and possible future companionship on field he tried to steer into less personal information disclosed. “I’m good. Perfect. Thanks for the concern. If I start feeling woozy I’ll roll off and you don’t need to witness any.. uncompromising state of lacking wellness on my side.” There’s a joking tone in voice but he’s almost counting on this to go down now, almost yearns for the disorienting fall into rabbit hole the male felt beginning signs of by now when he blinked, pinpointed shakiness from before swapped to an all encompassing wobble springing from the core. “I’m not.” His denial came quick, but not entirely true he knew. It wasn’t so much that the male could hold his drink, though he certainly was able to to an extent, he was simply good pretending to not feel the effect as strongly as he was, like now. It’s hard to tell how sober he actually sounds, words heavy on tongue and muddled in his mind, but delivery was less messy than the knot in his stomach so he ignored it all, fingers clammy around the shot glass as he welcomed a different kind of burn to caress throat as he swallowed it down, pursing lips in faint satisfaction, regarding the male with a delicate lift of brow, borderline questioning gaze fixed on him but words left to cling to the inside of mouth, focus easily shifted to the inquiry thrown his way instead.

     “Oh, no. Nowhere. I mean--” Smile slow to stretch over licked lips he shrugged, pushing the glasses to the side in order to slump against the counter, ignoring the stickiness against elbow felt through fabric of shirt when chin was parked on upturned balms of hands, honesty spilling out in steady stream now, “Never really thought about it you know. These meetings outside work-work instances are rare as is, you don’t ever really stop to think that other people have lives outside too, until it’s seen in front of you. Funny, isn’t it? To need validation of something that should be apparent...”

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⋯stagger ⟬pjm+jhs⟭

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spxhoseok

Hoseok was concerned. Certainly he had done similar missions before but this one felt different. He wasn’t quite sure why he was there. He glanced at his partner for the assignment. They had never worked together before but he had heard of him. Hoseok made it a point to recognize the faces and names of all the Kingsmen. At least the ones he knew of, anyway. It seemed he was good at all the things that Hoseok was not. Which was a good thing, he supposed, but worried him. He hoped that things would work out. His gut told him it wouldn’t be that easy. Hoseok tried no to think about it too much. Worrying excessively would just make the mission harder. He had all the info he needed and things would work out somehow. 

Hoseok was drawn from his thoughts when his partner spoke. “Yeah, I’m ready,” he said, flashing his best smile, “I’ll try not to get in your way.” His impulse was always to crack jokes when he was nervous but he had learned early that not all his partners appreciated his humor. At least not until they were both in deathly peril and it broke the tension. Hopefully this time things wouldn’t lead to that. 

He couldn’t quite suppress his need talk altogether though and ended up saying, “It’s always good to meet a new face. Here’s to pulling this off without a hitch.” He hoped he could still say the same once the mission was over. Hoseok moved to his place behind the other man and began mentally reviewing the layout of the location he had memorized earlier. It was just and in and out job. Barely any interaction at all. Things would work out fine, he was sure. 

     Heading out with a mission paired with a person he’s had no previous contact with, through work in any way much less in field was always reason for mild worry, but he’s long learned to ignore it and place trust in others, proven there rarely was anything he needed to concern himself over with these instances. However peculiar this particular sketch was, he had questioned it himself, but accepted premise with simple explanation that didn’t still quite ease the suspicion slumbering within. All would go well if they took careful steps.

     “Great. I’ll pave the way then, you just sit tight.” Small grin flashed at the man in retort he focused on listening for any sounds coming from other side of door he should take into account before bursting in, but none surfaced in the following seconds. “It is, I’d preferred to properly meet under less stressing environment, but hey, we’re both adept at multitasking right? Cheers.”

     He awaited bated breath, pulling door open with a quiet creak, gaze sweeping through the hallway quickly but found it thankfully empty, nodding for the other agent to follow as he stepped inside, alert. There supposedly shouldn’t be too many people present they had to go knock down, or he did, the small rugged gang operating during day most effectively thus leaving less unwelcome obstacles for them to deal with, if need. Still, it was too quiet even for his liking. Words of caution echoed louder in mind, but he stumped them down.

     Stopping at last door on the right, he nudged the door open a crack to spy what laid ahead, route already ingrained in forefront of mind, but the two guys sitting at table pulled to near middle of the barren room was a new addition, half expected. No guns in sight. Better play it safe anyway. Motioning for Hoseok to stay behind until he’s cleared the way, he entered room with casual stride towards the now alerted, thugs, for honest to god better word they kind of looked the part too, with their shabby suits. 

     “Hey, guard doggy looked to be passed out cold. Looked so peaceful I didn’t have heart to wake him.” Knocked out, more like, with a bloody nose and few broken ribs, courtesy of Jimin upon their arrival at the location. They weren’t being very subtle about it, although access was through an alleyway.

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post-masquerade psyche

....since, I never did make post and one is really necessary right now.

  • He’s been recovering for a month pretty much (i’m using the hiatus as excuse for this it wasn’t supposed to be more than a week but ye), trouble with reconnecting nerves in left arm the most pressing issue in preventing his early return to field.
  • The events of the masquerade still haunt him, despite showing no outward signs he’s any different from before ( beside slight weight loss and occasional eye bags he does best to conceal ) he’s pushing himself to work even harder now, will push until something breaks.
  • Which means more exercise, more sparring, more getting familiar with weapons, more missions. He barely has time for sleep going between all this and his shifts at the hotel.
  • In addition he’s been having more nightmares, losing much needed sleep over nights spend staring at walls and trying not to let the guilt consume him.
  • With the anniversary of his parent’s death right around the corner he’s even more restless, will seek solace in alcohol, if he can’t drown the memories with engaging in other activities.
  • He’s grown mildly paranoid to top it off, not to a point it hinders his every day life or mundane tasks, but large crowds are approached with slight wariness.
  • There are moments he spaces out, never for too long, mere seconds, but it happens nevertheless.
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⋯pulse ⟬pjm+lsk⟭

     Stumbling in the kitchen with airy laughter trailing after him when he very nearly literally bumped into a couple making out next to the doorway, of all places, the male beelined straight to the counter lined with selection of preferred poison to muddle your senses with, own high worn down to a simmer during the time spent dancing mostly, however long that may be he had lost perception of time probably four drinks ago. Clarity comes sneaky and he usually welcomes it, but hesitation is devoid of action when he’s already reaching for the bowl of green liquid containing who knew what.

     On second thought, better not try his luck with that. Few too many experiences with unknown mixes he’s been left to pick his fraying senses up from somewhere on the floor upon arrival of dawn, much like himself, waking into a silence surrounding overpowered only by the disconnected thundering in ears and steady stabbing to the back of head. Picking up a half full bottle closest to reach instead he eyes the label for moment, figures it will do and grabs a cup from the haphazard stack knocked over, half on the floor. He’s plenty generous with his combinations considering ratio to alcohol and mixers, certainly not pretending he’s become any kind of expert in the art of it but if goal is to get hammered he’s mastered something alright.

     He’s deciding between lemon and apple juice since those are the only choices apparently, opting for the former and pours when warmth of a presence makes itself known, head automatically turning to greet with a lazy but no less friendly smile, “Hi. Looking for a drink? Well you’re in the right place!” Words have at least ceased to slur which he is always grateful for, making sense is nice, but his throat feels dryer than the hottest summer days of the season, and the buzz is felt in the way his fingers feel against surface of objects, a little numb.

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