Child's Dream | companyhedgehog

Fili sighed a bit, but his brother was more than enough to distract him from both the disappointment of having to wait years and the excitement of it being ‘only a few’. He gave Kili a small squeeze around his middle, head tilting a bit at the mention of giant spiders. Kili seemed to have quite a lot of weird dreams. Glancing up at Thorin curiously, he cuddled Kili a little closer, treating him much as other children might a favorite stuffed animal. “Have you seen them, uncle?”

Briefly, Fili wondered if there would ever be an end to the things he learned were lurking in the wild. Every day it seemed he had to remember to be wary of yet another creature. His only consolation was that far away meant their home was no less safe now that their existence was known to them. His nose wrinkled slightly at Kili’s conclusion and despite himself, his lower lip jutted in childish disappointment (and maybe a little jealously). “Pretty lady? Why are you dreaming about ladies protecting you instead of me?” He reached down and poked at Kili’s sides.

Kili snickered and squirmed a bit to escape Fili’s hands. “Feewee, stop! Y’couldn’t be protectin’, you were all covered in spiderwebs!” He wrapped his arms around his brother, catching hold of Fili’s hands as he propped his chin up on Fili’s chest, grinning. “B’sides, it were really huge spiders, y’would’ve been scared.”

Thorin bit back a grin, briefly placing a hand on Kili’s back as he shifted a bit. “There’s no shame in fear, little one. It’s necessary to become a great warrior, and you both will be, one day.” Hopefully not too soon, though. “Spiders won’t be a problem for you, then.”

Kili grimaced a bit, resting his cheek against Fili’s shoulder as he glanced up at Thorin, brown eyes black in the darkness. “I canna be a warrior” he pointed out, “I’m no’ good with a sword. Warriors don’t use a bow.”

Child's Dream | companyhedgehog

Fili let out a small squeak of breath as Kili appeared in the doorway, despite obviously knowing he was there, reaching out his arms as Kili came closer and hauling him into the bed. He pulled him against his chest and rolled over partly so his little brother was wedged half on top of himself and half in between him and Thorin. Half of him a blanket of comfort, and half of him for protecting, his arms locked around him. "No," he answered, nose buried in Kili’s hair, head resting back on Thorin’s shoulder. "But I’m keeping Uncle Thorin company." Fili looked back up at Thorin dubiously, "Do you really think it will only take a few years?" That seemed like a very long time to wait, but it also seemed like very little time to become as great as his uncle with a sword. He sighed quietly and looked back down at his brother, shifting to brush his lips over Kili’s forehead, mouthing at the skin just light enough to tickle. "Why can’t you sleep, Kee?"

“Just a few years” Thorin repeated softly, gently ruffling Fili’s hair.

Kili snickered quietly, rubbing his forehead a bit as he propped his chin up at Fili’s chest. “I dunno” he answered Fili’s question, “I had weird dreams. Abou’ giant spiders and stuff. So I came t’find you, but you were gone, so I came here.” He smiled toothily, playing with a strand of golden hair. “Are there giant spiders in the woods, uncle?”

Thorin’s eyebrows twitched lightly as he shifted a bit to place one arm around both of them. “There’s some” he replied, his voice still calm, “They live far away, though, and you don’t have to worry about them. I’d never let them touch you.” 

Kili frowned a bit, worrying his lower lip between two fingers before smiling. “Don’t worry, uncle, they weren’t scary. Well, a bit, but the pretty lady killed them all, so it doesn’t matter.”

Winter | companyhedgehog

He felt more tears bubbling up in him, useless, just like him, when he couldn’t even walk right. How were they going to find Kili when he was dead weight? They couldn’t wait a few days! Fili sniffled, burying his face into Thorin’s shoulder and clinging. “I don’t know,” he wailed quietly, “I didn’t see. There- there was blood I think and he was on the floor-” his breath hitched as Kili’s screams came back to him. “But- but he was shouting when they-” Fili pressed a hand to his forehead, for the first time really considering what had happened to him, and seeing blood on his fingers when he pulled his hand away. Tears filled his eyes again. “When they hit me, he was shouting. He was screaming at them. I could hear it. So he was.. I-I think he got hit in the head but he was… he was okay…”

No. No, Kili was not okay. Even a scratch on his baby brother was not okay, but he wasn’t dying when he’d been dragged away. Fili was sure of that. Thorin needed objectivity, not his big brother hysterics. His fingers curled in Thorin’s coat, sniffling quietly.

"There were…" He squinted his eyes shut, trying to block out the blurry vision of Thorin in an attempt to recall the details. "F-five on horses. Three came in the front, two in the back. There were… short swords. Dirks. I-I didn’t see anything else." Fili took a deep, shuddering breath, pressing into the fur on Thorin’s collar.

Dead weight or not, he would not leave the boy behind in a town full of semi-hostile humans, wounded as he was. As for the humans themselves, they'd be dealt with once they'd found them.

He gave a brief nod at Fili's account, arms still wrapped closely around his shaking form. "Good. Very good, nidoyith, you've been very brave, both of you, d'you hear me? Your brother's a fighter, like you, we'll find him, I promise."

He didn't yet bother to think on how exactly he was planning to get them through next winter, with the few coins they'd earned having been stolen along with most of their valuables. Lightly rubbing Fili's back, he pressed a kiss to Fili's hair before gently dabbing the blood off the boy's forehead, making the boy look him in the eyes. "I need you to get up now" he continued, his voice still calm, "I'll help you stand, but we need to leave and go after them, d'you hear me? I'll need your help for that, and I know you can do that, trust me."

"The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter."

some of the people on my dash i just assume are their icons bc i’ve never seen their pics so it’s like “oh look gandalf is up late bloggin again” 

Okay, let’s talk about this scene for a minute. We already know that it’s foreshadowing Thorin’s downfall, but can we consider for a minute that it’s not foreshadowing the things that it’s meant to be foreshadowing?

Gandalf accuses Thorin of holding on to the past - how do we learn how to react to future difficulties except by using past situations as an example? The last time Thorin went to the Elves for help (remember the flashback? Remember our desperate dwarf prince screaming for help at an indifferent-seeming Thranduil? Good because a lot of people don’t), none came. This was about something huge, there were injured terrified refugees coming out of that mountain with nothing. And Thranduil didn’t lift a finger. Didn’t even tell them where to find clean drinking water.

Sure, Elrond and Thranduil are completely different people, but Thorin doesn’t know that. At best, he thinks they’ll be turned away, at worst he thinks that Elrond will actively work against him to stop the quest (he’s not wrong about that last part, even if it was Saruman who wanted to call a halt).

Gandalf accuses Thorin of being proud, but is that pride? Once bitten, twice shy after all, can Gandalf honestly expect that Thorin is going to forget or lay aside all his misgivings (which are valid) just because he said so? Gandalf never tries very hard to convince Thorin that Elrond will be helpful, he just expects Thorin to take him at his word.

To me, this is part of a larger pattern in this film and in the book of other races and beings not taking the dwarves seriously. Everyone is patronizing toward them (except for Elrond, he’s pretty great, but again Thorin doesn’t know that). Gandalf gives orders and expects obedience (would he talk to Aragorn this way? Theoden? Even Bilbo?), Bard acts as if he knows more about the sacking of Erebor and Dale than Thorin does, (“Have you forgotten what is in that mountain?” Um, no, Bard, considering the fact that he lived through it.), Thranduil locks the dwarves up because they won’t give him gemstones that he’s demanding - not in exchange for “help” as he says, but to secure their release after they were arrested without cause. And then, in the end, Gandalf, Bard, and Thranduil, stand against Thorin, using a stolen relic of his people as a bargaining chip. A relic they had no right to, they threaten him with force and steal from him and all the whole we’re hit over the head with the idea that Thorin brought this on himself. Why? Because he’s a proud, stubborn dwarf. And we’re supposed to accept that explanation, having allegedly seen evidence of it here.

Yeah, this foreshadows the Arkenstone debacle. This foreshadows Men, and Elves, and Hobbits, and wizards not giving a fuck about the dwarves’ rights to their own property. It’s a pretty beautiful metaphor for the dwarves’ entire existence, they only exist because of the indulgence of Illuvatar and by the indulgence of Illuvatar’s children they are permitted to keep their kingdoms. It’s all well and good when they’re mining mithril for the Elves or trading with Men, but the second a dwarf does something they don’t like, or they encounter a problem that would put the lives of other races at risk, all of a sudden they’re greedy, they’re prideful, no one wants anything to do with them.

Just listen to Gandalf here. “I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past.” That key was fashioned by dwarven hands to open a door carved by dwarven masons to enter a dwarven kingdom. That map was created by dwarves to enter that same kingdom. It was retained by a dwarven king to give to his son - yet once Gandalf has it, it’s suddenly his map. Thorin has no right to it except by Gandalf’s deigning to hand it over. Who’s proud, again?

Yeah, someone is very wrong in this scene. But it’s not Thorin.

And no one ever mentions the fact that Gandalf has had that map and key for basically a century and is only now giving them to Thorin. I believe he says somewhere that the Dwarf he got them from was crazy and near death, but honestly! It’s a map of the goddamned Lonely Mountain with an arrow pointing to a hidden door. How much thought does it take to come up with the fact that it should go to Thorin and probably the crazy, dying Dwarf was Thráin? Way to take a century to confirm his death to his own son. And then act like you’re doing him a huge favor by giving him something that should have been his in the first place. I’m normally very fond of Gandalf, but not when I think of him in relation to Dwarves.

Also, for all that Elrond reads the map for him, he also did the condescending “there are some who would not deem that wise” in the way that parents might tell children that going sky diving might be dangerous. Because Elves always know best, right?

the dwarves are shit on by literally every other race in arda you know what it’s like to be told that your entire race is a mistake? that you don’t deserve a place in the halls? all people do is make dwarves feel like they don’t deserve to exist and i relate a bit too much to it so i’m here telling you that dwarves are not wrong when they are how they are secretive and untrusting? uh you betcha when everyone betrays you and treats you like a petty child i am so mad about it that i can’t even express it in words right now I AM A FIERCE PROTECTOR OF DWARVES AND I WILL FIGHT UNTIL MY DYING BREATH NÊ ITHI ZAI USLUKH KÊL MOTHERFUCKERS dwarves they are such a beautiful race with a beautiful culture and language ok please love them (x)

By the way - and maybe a little off topic, but: This is also the first time someone tells Thorin he's not his grandfather. Just noticed. :)

On another note: Go read Gandalf's parts in the Unfinished Tales; he basically behaves like a d!ck towards Thorin most of the time. Thorin is polite (yes he is, actually) and everything, Gandalf tell's him "you're a minor thread in my great web of history here, I might as well go to someone else if you don't wanna do what I want". Nice try, Gandalf.

Random edits: 13/?

Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. Whenever you feel alone, remember that those kings will always be there to guide you - and so will I.

SCREENCAP/GIF MEME

▻ brainiacdean asked Objects + Orcrist

Child's Dream | companyhedgehog

Despite his desire to seem more grown up than he was, he leaned into Thorin’s embrace, tucking his head in the crook of his shoulder and turning to nestle a little more securely against him. The hand on his back was comforting, and he felt himself relaxing already, safe and secure in his arms. He smiled faintly at the promise, nodding a bit. Thorin could protect all of them even if Fili couldn’t.

He leaned his head into the petting, blinking up at him with the wide eyes of youth and trust. His smile widened tentatively. “You promise? You’ll teach me?” Thorin had already been teaching him but… he certainly didn’t feel like the makings of the best swordsman in an age. He felt like an idiot most of the time - when it was real practice and not playfighting with Kili. Like a fish out of water. He slumped back against him moodily, “How long will it take before I am any good?”

Fili was distracted a moment later by an almost inaudible whisper of sound outside in the hall, his head swiveling to fix eyes on the door, though it wasn’t out of fear like it would have been for another after the kind of dreams he’d had. He knew the sound, sensed its maker. The dwarfling sat still, staring through the gloom at the door, waiting expectantly.

"A few years maybe." The corner's of his mouth twitched faintly. "I promise, inudoyê."

The faint shuffle of small feet had not gone unnoticed by him; it didn't take too long for Kili to appear in the doorway, dark hair fuzzily standing on end, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Feewee?"

Thorin bit back a grin, shifting a bit to allow Kili to settle down next to his brother. The boy gave a content sound, wrapping his arms tightly around Fili as he snuggled close, head buried at his brother's shoulder. "Can't you sleep either, Feewee?" he muttered against the fabric, not questioning in the slightest how he found his brother in Thorin's bed instead of his own; Thorin gave a light grin, though seeing the two lie curled against each other like kittens caused a small sting of pain somewhere in his chest, a brief memory flashing through the back of his head. He pushed it aside, however. There were enough ghosts in his dreams already; he wouldn't force that on his nephews.

ANON HOUR STARTS NOW. NOTHING DELETED. EVERYTHING ANSWERED

Winter | companyhedgehog

He wanted to curl up and cry until Kili magically came back, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Kili wasn’t going to just show up out of the blue. Thorin’s promise was hard to believe in that moment, though he tried, sucking in deep gulps of air and nodding in between hiccupping sobs. Thorin was a better hunter than either of them. There was no guarantee that he couldn’t do what he claimed. Being told it wasn’t his fault though, was less difficult to believe, and less helpful.

It didn’t matter if it was or wasn’t his fault. Kili was gone. He felt hollow and scared and robbed. Not of coin though. He didn’t care about the money.

Fili sniffed and shook his head slightly, rubbing tears and a runny nose and dried blood on his uncle’s coat. He still couldn’t see straight, and his stomach and sides and back hurt tremendously, but it was the ache of deep bruising, not of internal bleeding or broken bones. He was smart enough to tell that much, and knew that it wasn’t important. His chin wobbled, but the crying had gradually lessened, the questions helping to calm him as he was forced to think, to assess. “They hit Kili first,” he answered, voice wavering. His own injury was obvious, what was important to convey in that moment was that Kili was hurt as well. Those men wouldn’t be taking care of him.

Kili was hurt.

It was this realization that stirred him. Fili shoved himself up, or tried to, instead he tipped as the world swam around him, floundered and fell against his uncle as his balance failed him, his hands clutching at his coat to keep himself from sliding all the way to the floor.

"Careful!" Hastily, he wrapped his arms a little more around the boy, holding him steady. "You've hit your head pretty badly. You'll heal, but it'll take a few days." He took a deep breath, carefully holding Fili upright.

They hit Kili first. But he'd obviously still been clear enough to think of a way to lure them away, so hopefully it wasn't that bad. That didn't mean it wouldn't become worse, though... "Kili. How bad is he hurt?" he asked, still holding Fili close with one arm while turning over to Dwalin, "We need to leave. Gather our belongings, see whether they left any valuables or weapons, we need to get after them as soon as possible." Dwalin gave a nod, obeying in broody silence.

Thorin ran a hand through Fili's hair, sticky with blood as it was. "Listen to me, inudoyê." His voice was quiet, but firm. "I need you to tell me all you can about these men. How many were they? Did they have horses? Were they armed?"

Focus on your task. Fear gets people killed. He only hoped Fili remembered as best as he could.

Child's Dream | companyhedgehog

Fili’s smile broadened and he padded into the room, a little faster than dignity necessitated, climbing into Thorin’s bed and nestling against his side with a sigh of content. It was a bit chilly in the open air, and Thorin’s blankets were warm and he was warm and Fili liked the security that both provided. As of yet in his life, his unwavering faith in his uncle’s ability to do basically anything was unshaken, his trust unbroken. He would keep him safe from the bumps in the night.

He burrowed down beside him, pulling the blankets up to his chin and scowling down at the bump his own feet made under the blankets, only half so far away as his uncle’s. He’d have liked to help with Thorin’s bad dreams, but if he couldn’t take care of his own himself he doubted he’d be of much help. “I… had a dream about orcs. ..They hurt me.” Fili looked down, picking at the edge of the blanket self consciously. “…When I woke up I started thinking… If I can’t take care of me how am I supposed to take care of Kili?”

Thorin gave a light sigh, placing one arm gently around his nephew, pulling the boy close as he pressed a kiss to his head. Orcs, of course. The boys had never taken part in a fight, and yet, pictures from books and the stories they heard were more than enough. And with Fili knowing what had happened to their father...

Lightly rubbing Fili's back, he paused for a moment, laying out the words in his head.

"First of all, nidoyithê" he said softly after a moment, "Nobody is ever going to hurt you, not while I'm around. As long as I live, I won't allow any orcs to hurt you, I promise you that." It was a weak promise, of course, but Fili would be too young to know. "Second..." He ran a hand through Fili's hair, absently playing with a streak of gold beneath his fingers before he looked down on the boy, curled against him as he was.

"You'll be a great warrior today" he said softly, "The best swordsman the Blue Mountains have seen in an age. I'll teach you to be one, mh? 'til then, I'll take care of both of you."

Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. Whenever you feel alone, remember that those kings will always be there to guide you - and so will I.

Fili is quite the sight

I just wanna kiss him sometimes

Winter | companyhedgehog

He’d lost him. He’d lost his little brother and he was gone, and it was all his fault. He should have just given them the money, should have kept Kili closer, paid more attention, should have run out the back with him - anything, anything would have been better than what he’d done. And here he was blubbering like a child when he should have been looking for him.

Fili’s gaze lifted to his uncle’s face, focusing on the clearer of the two faces swimming before his eyes. He was shaking and hiccuping between his sobs, but Thorin’s tone of calm command was an anchor to cling to. It was difficult to force the words out, wobbly and wet and breathy, each one a tiny wail of its own, but they came eventually between the tears.

"Th-they were angry… we… we didn’t have enough coin.." He sniffed, sucked in a shakey breath, "I was on the floor… I couldn’t do anything, a-and Kili…" he faltered, the memory of Kili’s screaming making new tears well in his eyes, "He- he told them we had more… hidden s-somewhere. He said he’d s-s-show them.." Fili broke down again, burying his face against Thorin’s tunic as he wailed, "They’re going to kill him when he leads them to nothing!”

Thorin wasn't entirely sure whether to be relieved at the fact that they'd taken Kili along because he had some sort of use for them (a sort of use that meant they wouldn't kill him instantly) or rather roll his eyes at the fact that Kili for once had proven to have some sort of notion to play for time if anything; he decided not to do either of these two things, pressing a kiss to Fili's head instead. "We'll find him. I promise you we'll find him before anything happens to him." 

The question was, where would the wee idiot lead them? Away from the city, so much was for sure; back towards their halls in the Blue Mountains? It would offer the possible support of fellow dwarves, that much was for sure, of family, if possible. Deeper into the wilderness? It would have been sheer idiocy, surrounded by a group of hostile humans that wanted gold; Kili was not the brightest gem under the mountain in some aspects, but he was also a child, and if there was one thing frightened children wanted, it was home. Towards the Blue Mountains then.

Inhaling deeply and slowly, he forced down the panic that tightened his throat. "It's not your fault" he repeated softly, "It's not your fault, Fili, my boy. We'll find him, I promise you. Are you badly hurt?" There were no obvious injuries aside from the blood on his forehead; his breathing was hitching and sobbing, but he did not seem to have any broken ribs, let alone other limbs; his memory was clear enough, his voice steady as much as it could be, his eyes less wandering already. "They knocked you over the head?"

Focus, his mind commanded, both himself and the crying lad in his arms, focus on my voice, focus on your task.