if a woman is over 35 and you think she’s hot you can just say that you don’t have to call her a milf
Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?
Me: Yes, right here.
Lady: Is how much?
Me: $2.99 a pound.
Lady: It's usually $1.49.
Me: Yes, in the summer.
Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.
Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?
Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.
And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch – 4.08: Aging Not So Gracefully
second chances
guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.
"you can't just relate everything back to this ship" prepare to be stunned and amazed at how little control i have over my own brain
#he doesn’t love the drama, the drama loves him
THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2001 — dir. Garry Marshall
💃💃 is it chill that you’re in my head? 💃💃
going through my texts and reminiscing about my favorite security codes i was sent this year
TAYLOR SWIFT Kansas City Chiefs vs New England Patriots football game
THE WEST WING | 4.01 20 Hours in America (Part I)