Mattie Rogers

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When you put your music on shuffle and the song you actually wanted to listen to comes on first…

Me after using duolingo for a month

“Taco delivery dog”

‘Pit Bull Flower Power’ Already Found Homes For 140+ Pits (New Pics)

I dub them ‘Pretty Pitties’

What does noon to afternoon mean?

12:00-12:01

He dips his hands in wet cement and then goes home. He does this every day. Just for his dog.

Just kinda wanna be braless and eat fruit in peace tbh

the past is a strange place

cops on bikes used to transport criminals like this

this guy worked as an alarm for waking people up

one wheel motorcycle

pin-boys who manually lined pins up

baby cage for families who wanted their kids to get enough sunlight

zoo-keeper showering a penguin

But who woke up the guy that woke everyone else up

Being a woman is hard af.

No boobs? Damn. Grow some. Boobs? Cover yourself. You’re so vulgar. No ass? Everyone will laugh at you for it. Ass? Well, better cover yourself cause you don’t wanna draw attention to that booty, right? Short? You need to wear those heels. Tall? Damn. You cannot be taller than men. Also, never wear heels. Skinny? Gotta gain weigh cause no one likes bones. Chubby? Eat healthy!!!! Nobody likes fat bitches. You like makeup? Hell no. Taking you swimming on the first date. No makeup? Please, take care of yourself. Don’t be so lazy.

We, women, are constantly shamed for everything so we, as well, might do whatever we want.

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

my latest 2016 aesthetic includes baby cows standing in fields of flowers

THIS!