離れずにそばにいて

he peed on the laptop

hello welcome to my house don’t be too loud or the attic demons will murder you would you like something to drink? :)

hi quick question, can i fuck the demons

why do i even go on this website anymore

Okay but Sebastian portrays himself as this font of knowledge and sophistication but he hasn’t even figured out how to lie down without looking awkwardly uncomfortable

How does he even function

Timmy was always a bit different from the other ostriches

I love him

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.

bi/pansexual people calling their attraction to the same gender gay

het people calling themselves gay in any context

me: gets a solid 8 hrs of sleep

me: wakes up exhausted

me: ok first of all

probably one of the happiest sounds is when your pet comes running for you and you can hear the little pat pats of their feet on the floor

english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

IM CRYINGNFN

english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

leave fingers of the feet out of this

Soulmate au where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well. 

Imagine having a super artistic soulmate who draws flowers and designs and really beautiful patterns all over their arms and person 2 just sits there and watches the little lines appear on their arms and they can’t stop smiling and it’s their favorite part of the day

Imagine person 1 being super forgetful so they scribble down all the places their appointments are and person 2 tries to decipher them and figure out where they’re at and they meet and they see their writing on their hand from across the waiting room/ coffee shop/ etc. and they scramble to find a pen and write ‘found you’ on the back of their hand and person 1 sees it and they lock eyes and

Wow I like this au

YES

imagine person 1 drawing a giant penis on their forehead because they’re an asshole

me: *finishes task* me: dopamine please brain: *releases dopamine* me: thank you brain: youre welcome

A dog’s clever solution.

Has this…. Been done already?

Bioware: gives u 1(1) trans character plus literally every single dialogue option to insult them in a conversation

Y’all: lose your shit and call them LGBT icons

Dream Daddy devs: written and made by a mainly LGBT team for an LGBT audience, gives you the chance to play as a trans character and romance a trans character and many healthy mlm relationships 

Y’all: The ending was Problematic™ and it got delayed so :/

Boku no Hero Academia x Ballroom e Youkoso

Also a seiyuu crossover