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structured seriousness

@debunkingthemichelle / debunkingthemichelle.tumblr.com

: )
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people who can't pass credit checks still need housing. people who don't have credit at all still need housing. people who can't pass criminal background checks still need housing. people who have been evicted before still need housing. people with past unpaid rent still need housing. people who can't take out loans still need housing. people who can't pay off their mountains of debt still need housing. people who don't or can't work still deserve housing. housing is not an "investment". housing is not the act of "borrowing" property from someone else.

housing is necessary for human survival, no matter how poor, disabled, addicted, insane, or bad with money someone is. every single person on this planet requires housing. everyone. money does not belong in the affairs of housing. housing does not wait for money to come. housing is a human right, that EVERY human deserves, regardless of how much money they make, if any.

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I have finally learned that non-Autistic people only expect a very limited amount of information to be transferred to them at a time. If you try to explain something to them in too much detail or add too much background info, they get overwhelmed in processing it, and they don't know which details are important to parse, and so they get frustrated with you for bombarding them, or they don't listen and miss out on what's important. This isn't them being any less intelligent or caring than anyone else, by the way, it is just a processing difference. And so while it may feel unnatural at first, I have learned that if I want a non-Autistic-seeming person to understand me, I should give them less information and let them color in between the lines. It keeps their mind engaged and keeps them from becoming upset!

I just pick the most OBVIOUSLY important information ("pick me up at the drive thru"), without any of the background or the "why" behind it (the bus broke down and it was raining so i'm under the awning at the drive thru to stay dry) , and I don't worry whether they understand it fully, because they actually do not want all that extraneous information.

hilariously the place where i finally mastered this was on Grindr. I used to explain to people at length my preferences, dysphoria triggers, specifics of where and when we could meet and why my schedule was what it was...and I rapidly figured out that it's much more effective to just tell someone the bare minimum of what you are looking for and where you currently are. and only get into anything deeper if the situation warrants it.

When I talk to an Autistic, conversely, I let the information flow freely because I know it will be helpful to them, and because it's fun to get to be very didactic and precise, too

#great in theory#in practice I have absolutely no fucking clue which information is important#so i'm either choosing random details#in which case i'm likely to choose the wrong ones#leaving everyone confused#or they gotta just hear everything#in which case they do indeed get annoyed and stop listening#actually autistic#social skills

I think it helps to think in terms of the literal behavioral outcomes you need from the other person. What do you need them to do, say, or avoid doing? Just tell them that. Focus only on specific, actionable information that is relevant to their behavior. Where they should be, where you will be (if it's relevant), where things are located, that kind of thing.

And if they have questions about why, or they pause and seem confused, you can throw out a little additional information and context. They probably do not even want the full story. They just want you to convey that there *is* a reason that you need them to do the thing, or that things are typically done in a certain way. In many cases they won't even really listen to what the reason is, they just want to have the emotional experience of picking up on the fact that there is a reason.

This is by no means foolproof, and for different relationships things will vary, but for any kind of professional setting or group where there is some shared external outcome (volunteering gig, class project, etc), focusing on actionable behavioral facts is often the way to go.

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walkingbomb

reminder to:

  • straighten your back
  • go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT
  • go take your meds if you need to
  • drink some water
  • go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while
  • maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)
  • reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about
  • maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?

I just would like to thank everyone who ever reblogs this so that it somehow ends up back on my dash because I usually need the reminder (especially the drinking water one)

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salt-baby

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

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burins

I know this is the Take Personal Responsibility for Systemic Issues website, but I keep seeing weirdly guilt trippy posts about libraries and ebook licenses, which are a labyrinth from hell and not actually something you personally need to feel guilty about. here are a few facts about ebook licenses you may not know:

  • in Libby/Overdrive, which currently operates in most US public libraries, ebook licenses vary widely in how much they cost and what their terms are. some ebooks get charged per use, some have a set number of uses before the license runs out, and others have a period of time they're good for (usually 1-2 years) with unlimited checkouts during that period before they expire. these terms are set by the publisher and can also vary from book to book (for instance, a publisher might offer two types of licenses for a book, and we might buy one copy of a book with a set number of uses we want to have but know won't move as much, and another copy with a one year unlimited license for a new bestseller we know will be really moving this year.)
  • you as a patron have NO way of knowing which is which.
  • ebook licenses are very expensive compared to physical books! on average they run about 60 bucks a pop, where the same physical book would cost us $10-15 and last us five to ten years (or much longer, if it's a hardcover that doesn't get read a lot.)
  • if your library uses Hoopla instead, those are all pay per use, which is why many libraries cap checkouts at anywhere between 2-10 per month.

however.

this doesn't mean you shouldn't use ebooks. this doesn't mean you should feel guilty about checking things out! we buy ebook licenses for people to use them, because we know that ebook formats are easier for a lot of people (more accessible, more convenient, easier for people with schedules that don't let them get into the library.) these are resources the library buys for you. this is why we exist. you don't need to feel guilty about using them!

things that are responsible for libraries being underfunded and having to stretch their resources:

  • government priorities and systemic underfunding of social services that don't turn a profit and aren't easily quantified
  • our society's failure to value learning and pleasure reading for their own sake
  • predatory ebook licensing models

things that are not responsible for libraries being underfunded:

  • individual patron behavior

I promise promise promise that your personal library use is not making or breaking your library's budget. your local politicians are doing that. capitalism is doing that. you are fine.

(if you want to help your local library, the number one thing you can do is to advocate for us! talk to your city or county government about how much you like the library. or call or write emails or letters. advocate for us locally. make sure your state reps know how important the library is to you. there are local advocacy groups in pretty much every state pushing for library priorities. or just ask your local librarian. we like to answer questions!

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tinymoves

the extent that i would be at emo night at sneaky dees every single weekend is crazy. you would think i was canadian.

So connect the Windsor-Quebec Corridor and the Northeast Corridor with HSR, that isn't that bad of an idea. It doesn't even need to be that distant dream that is Meglev, just making it fast frequent rail would do it, I would prioritize getting a connection between Boston and Montreal in this system but it is an exciting idea

Anyways the travel times on that map are insane, but it would be a good system still. Anyways here is a picture of the proposal from a geographic map instead of a stylish visual

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My former U.S. Track and Field teammate Tori Bowie, who was found dead in her home in Florida on May 2, of complications related to childbirth at 8 months pregnant, was a beautiful runner. She was effortless. At the Rio Olympics, I ran the second leg of the 4 x 100 relay. Tori was the anchor. When she got the baton, I remember thinking, “it’s over.” She just accelerated. When she crossed the finish line, I couldn’t wait to run over to her to celebrate. It was her first, and only, Olympic gold medal.

She also picked up a silver (in the 100-m) and bronze (200-m) in Brazil. The next year, at the 2017 World Championships in London, Tori won the 100-m title, earning the title of “world’s fastest woman.” Tori started out as a long jumper. So seeing her thrive as a sprinter was a huge deal. She was just such a bright light, and people were getting to see that.

Tori grew up in Mississippi and had this huge Southern accent. She didn’t take herself too seriously. You felt this sense of ease when you were around her. I last saw her in early 2021, in San Diego, where she was training. She gave me the biggest hug; something about her spirit was just very, very sweet. I felt her sweetness come over me that day.

Tori was 32 when she died. According to the autopsy, possible complications contributing to Bowie’s death included respiratory distress and eclampsia—seizures brought on by preeclampsia, a high blood pressure disorder that can occur during pregnancy. I developed preeclampsia during my pregnancy with my daughter Camryn, who was born in November 2018. The doctors sent me to the hospital, where I would deliver Camryn during an emergency C-section, at 32 weeks. I was unsure if I was going to make it. If I was ever going to hold my precious daughter.

Like so many Black women, I was unaware of the risks I faced while pregnant. According to the CDC, in 2021 the maternal mortality rate for Black women was 2.6 times the rate for white women. About five days before I gave birth to Camryn, I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. I mentioned that my feet were swollen. As we went around the table, the women shared their experiences during pregnancy. My cousin said she also had swollen feet. My mom didn’t. Not once did someone say, ‘oh, well, that’s one of the indicators of preeclampsia.’ None of us knew. When I became pregnant, my doctor didn’t sit me down and tell me, ‘these are things that you should look for in your pregnancy, because you are at a greater risk to experience these complications.’

That needs to change, now, especially in light of Tori’s tragic passing. Awareness is huge. Serena Williams had near-death complications during her pregnancy. Beyoncé developed preeclampsia. I hate that it takes Tori’s situation to put this back on the map and to get people to pay attention to it. But oftentimes, we need that wake-up call.

The medical community must do its part. There are so many stories of women dying who haven’t been heard. Doctors really need to hear the pain of Black women.

Luckily, there’s hope on several fronts. Congress has introduced the Momnibus Act, a package of 13 bills crafted to eliminate racial disparities in maternal health and improve outcomes across the board. California passed Momnibus legislation back in 2021. These laws make critical investments in areas like housing, nutrition, and transportation for underserved communities. Further, several pharmaceutical companies are making advances on early detection and treatment of preeclampsia.

Three gold medalists from that 4 x 100 relay team in Rio set out to become mothers. All three of us—all Black women—had serious complications. Tianna Madison has shared that she went into labor at 26 weeks and entered the hospital “with my medical advance directive AND my will.” Tori passed away. We’re dealing with a Black Maternal Health crisis. Here you have three Olympic champions, and we’re still at risk.

I would love to have another child. That’s something that I know for sure. But will I be here to raise that child? That’s a very real concern. And that’s a terrifying thing. This is America, in 2023, and Black women are dying while giving birth. It’s absurd.

I’m hopeful that things can get better. I’m hopeful that Tori, who stood on the podium at Rio, gold around her neck and sweetness in her soul, won’t die in vain.

—as told to Sean Gregory

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