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heyo

@blacephalons / blacephalons.tumblr.com

Chris. 27. Canada. Formally gengars-ghost
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actupny

AIDS ISN’T OVER FOR ANYBODY UNTIL IT IS OVER FOR EVERYBODY! ACT UP 30th Anniversary Rally, NYC AIDS Memorial Park, March 30, 2017. Photo by Molly Gingras

Join the fight. ACT UP still meets every Monday at 7pm at the LGBT Center in NYC.

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beachdeath

taylor swift invites me to her Reputation Secret Session listening party. i know that this means taylor’s read my blog, and she must know i’m not super happy with this album cycle. so i’m on my best behaviour, trying hard to be nice and not kill the joy of the fourteen-year-olds around me. we all sit down on her living room floor and chat for a while. it’s nice. taylor swift is nice. i’m starting to feel more relaxed, but i’m definitely still trying to keep the peace though. i tell her that fearless was a formative album for me and she thanks me and says it was so sweet of me to say that. taylor swift announces that she made snickerdoodles and she has to go pop them out of the oven. the fourteen-year-olds cheer, and as taylor walks away, they begin to talk amongst themselves. i happen to look up. the kitchen door is slightly ajar and taylor swift is staring at me through the thin crack, her eyes twin coals of searing, black hatred. i gasp a little. the fourteen-year-olds ask me what’s wrong. i say that nothing is wrong. taylor swift comes toward us with a tray of piping hot snickerdoodles and invites us all to take one. i decline and tell her i just ate. she insists that i take one. i tell her that i’m sorry but i’m really full and they smell delicious. she forcibly places a snickerdoodle in my hand. she tells me to eat it. there is no way i am going to eat this snickerdoodle because i am genuinely afraid that taylor swift will kill me. i am seriously afraid that taylor swift has put poison in this snickerdoodle and is trying to kill me. one of the fourteen-year-olds asks if the cookies are gluten-free. taylor swift’s mother andrea swift calls out from the kitchen to say that the cookies do, in fact, contain gluten. i loudly announce that i have celiac disease and then i toss the cookie into a nearby artisanal woven wastebasket while loudly announcing that nobody wants a cookie that has my germs all over it. taylor smiles at me. she says nothing. the fourteen-year-olds demand to finally hear Reputation and she presses play and the living room’s surround sound system begins to play the album. i am sweating. the fourteen-year-olds are having fun. we get to the part where she says “island breeze” in a caribbean accent. i visibly wince. taylor swift affects a friendly voice and asks me if i like the song. i tell her that i do. i announce that i have to go to the washroom. my thought is that i can walk down the main hallway and escape through the front door. taylor stands up and says she’ll walk me to the washroom. i say that it’s fine actually and i can hold my pee. taylor swift says that’s silly. she tugs at my arm until i stand up and then she very lightly holds my arm and guides me down the hallway, out of the view of the fourteen-year-olds. i am very scared. we reach the bathroom. taylor swift releases her hold on my arm. she looks very intently at my t-shirt. it’s an animal collective 2017 tour t-shirt. i got it when i went to an animal collective concert back in may. “i see you like animal collective,” she says. “please don’t kill me, taylor swift,” i reply. “there was VX nerve agent in that snickerdoodle,” taylor swift says. “oh my god,” i say, and i say, “taylor, please, i know i said the singles were bad, but that was only because i believe so much in your potential.” taylor swift levels her eyes at me. kubrick stare. “you’re seriously going to stand there,” she says, “wearing a t-shirt plastered with the cover art for painting with, and you’re going to tell me that my album is bad.” i am crying now. “floridada is a really fun song,” i whisper, through phlegm and tears. taylor swift’s eyes roll back into her head and an ancient voice echoes forth from her throat, intoning in latin: “Vos ipsi deceperunt me, quia novissima hora est.” somehow i die just from that.

wait what did this really happen

There’s no way this could have happened…

and yet, it happened

So you’re saying Taylor Swift tried to kill you?😂

no i’m saying she DID kill me. read the post.

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transjemder

Millennial culture is having two wildly different conversations with the same person on two different apps at the exact same time

conversation 1: cheese borger

conversation 2: that’s why I think I’m so afraid of making myself vulnerable, because my father taught me I couldn’t ever truly trust anyone

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Bauer-Ross headed back to the Shoppers the next day with her receipt and says the manager offered a full refund, or exchange. She accepted an exchange under the condition that she could open the bottle in the store. When she did, she says it was also filled with pasta.
The flummoxed store manager then snatched a third bottle off the shelf and popped the cap, only to find more dried penne. A fourth bottle yielded a similar result.

ive been laughing uncontrollably about this story for a good five minutes or so

you know at first the manager’s just thinking she took out the pills and added the penne, and when she opened the second bottle in the store his mind just went 

it wasn’t her?

My first suspicion would have been she did it too. 

An exchange would be a surprise.

But this? What the hell.

Holy shit. I’m cackling.

Those vitamins were….

Impastas. 😂😂😂

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Man, that Rito's accordion tune really evokes emotion in me. And nice familiar feeling to playing other Zelda games on one hand, but on the other hand, DAMN some of those quests are annoying and frustrating to do.

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business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i'm not mad at you
thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think
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avvocarlo

why does part of this original episode sound like a youtube poop

HEY MOE

on the dvd commentary for this episode the writers said that flea (the guy yelling AYY MOE) literally just yelled that line from like the complete opposite side of the recording booth and they didn’t make him redo it because it was loud enough to use lmao

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