I + X = IX

i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .

God in the Garden of Eden

Absolutely obsessed with the implications of this comment

Clarification request: are you

a) an average fisherman, asking if there’s a chance their dream girl might love them back?

or

b) a cute girl with fat titties that is really into dark ambient music, unsure if her feelings for an average fisherman are genuine?

We used to have to take pictures with like. a camera. and then connect it to a computer with a usb to transfer them. to upload to photobucket . im literally shaking

nobody tell op about having to take literal rolls of film to walmart and then wait 2 weeks to find out whether your finger was in the way

 “I love mankind … it’s people I can’t stand!!”  - Charles M. Schultz

[ End of Peanutgelion: 1/? ]

if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious

“You can’t judge historical figures by modern morals!” you can, actually. i do it all the time and it’s super easy 

“But everyone during that time–” okay i’ll judge them too. i have enough disdain to span centuries.

I judge presidents of today for drone strikes and ICE, I judge presidents of the past for owning slaves, they were judged in their own time too

i just met the most unfortunate man in the world today

I just learned that the Russian word for “ladybug” translates to “God’s Little Cow”

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

Oh I love this news!!!!

You’re beautiful. Thank you, but what else?