Komm, Süsser Tod.

a place you call home.

insta: @windsaor

I've been thinking about Mollymauk, as I'm periodically wont to do, and the fandom discussion about him as a moral compass. Because the interesting thing here is, Molly wasn’t a very moral character. He was an unrepentant scammer. He had no respect for interpersonal boundaries and would deliberately push and break them. Generally, he was an asshole. As far as actually having a strong moral stance I would say Fjord was the standout of early m9, and to some extent Beau.

But here’s the thing: almost all of early m9 thought of themselves as horrible people. Fjord had been bullied so bad growing up that he still dealt with self-hate from it, and now suffered from survivor's guilt to boot. Caleb had killed his own parents. Beau, while she hated her dad, also had internalized self-hate and on some level thought she’d been such a shitty daughter she deserved his treatment. Nott was stuck in a body she considered monstrous. Yasha had survivor's guilt and knew she’d done bad things in her blank spots. Even when they did good, they didn’t think of themselves as good. Most of them were suspicious and asocial and faced the world with the same kind of distrust they expected to be (and were experienced in being) met with. (Jester was an exception, an agent of neither good nor bad but of amoral chaos)

But Molly was different. He was outspoken about loving life and people. He wanted to spread joy, even to people he didnt know or had even met: he slipped coin into people's pockets, hid a silver in a tree just so some stranger would one day be happy to find it. He openly cared for the party early on; was one of the first to step in and help Caleb when he went catatonic in battle. Above all, Molly had rules: where everyone else would agonize over what was the right or wrong or smart thing to do, Molly loudly proclaimed we don't leave people behind, and we leave every place better than we found it.

But the thing about Molly’s rules was, they were largely a cover. While the rest of the m9 thought they were bad even as they did good, Molly thought of himself as good even as he did bad. He scammed people, but made it a good and memorable experience, therefore thinking he gave more than he took. He charmed Nott and Fjord without consent, and when confronted would claim it was to help them. Out of the group, Beau saw through this, not because she was a better person but because she was a cynic. She saw that he caused harm, just as she did, and was personally affronted that he still thought of himself as good and tried to leave people happy, whereas she deliberately left every place worse than she found it.

I see Molly as a moral compass of the group not because he was actually any more moral than them, but because they made him their template. He was joy and brightness and he died trying to save them because it was the right thing to do, and they all chose to honor him by emulating his rules more than Molly himself ever did, because to them it was more than just a cover, backed up by genuine moral thought and discussion rather than small gestures. He taught them that it was possible to be kind of a shit person and still be good, to still love yourself and others. The idealized Molly they created never existed, and finally died for good when they resurrected him in the end and were met with a stranger, who they welcomed with the same love and care they would've expected Molly to show them.

the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

I mean if you wanna just loom in the corner like some kinda creature that's cool, we just don't want you getting left out

the idea of eternity in utena is so interesting. initially "there is no such thing as something eternal" is the thought that sends utena spiraling into suicidality, which is understandable, since the idea that everything will end someday is terrifying. especially to a child. especially to a child who just encountered one of the most traumatizing and violent "endings" possible, the deaths of her parents. but then she's shown that apparently something can be eternal. and that something is pain, which is even worse, but at least gives her something to live for. and then by the end of the show it's like. no, pain isn't eternal either. "there is no such thing as something eternal" is reframed as a positive. eternity is Not Good. eternity is everything staying the same forever, never changing for the better. it's the opposite of revolution. it's what akio wants, perpetuating the system that benefits him at the cost of everyone else forever and ever. and no matter what utena might have thought, it is not what she wants.

Don't let me float away, please

Of the Seventh Dawn

dude your pussy just skittered away. like a insect

by Adam Rice

from that day on I was his

"What do you want?"

(a lil callowmoore comic with a pining ashton)

Robert Wun Spring 2024 Haute Couture

Yume and her Nikkies celebrating Halloween together

collection of some molly sketches :] im obsessed with drawing him smiling hugely looking mischievous

Angela Barrett,

Oh my god, look at this extra motherfucker. Look at this bullshit. I just… I just can’t. Look at this.

Gif is courtesy of @utenabot, from the Revolutionary Girl Utena: Bud of the White Rose musical.