If all the world's a stage. I'm the trap door.

My pasta has betrayed me

was it an impasta

No I choked

We both know this will never happen

Yes

And it's one you will fail

Mutuals, do your thing and attack- /hj

*ahem*

FOLLOWERS AND MOOTS???

ATTACK!!!! GET THIS POST UP IN NUMBERSSSS!!!

Where are all you people coming from?

How did you even see this?!

The power of Tumblr when challenged is beyond comprehension.

It is very comprehendible and it is not strong enough

Alright I wasn't going to do this but.

@amethyst-aster @f4y3w00d5 @akronus-the-redeemed @fattocatto-wizard @ask-crow-aus @fattocatto-wizard @good-wizard2 @im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime @jhomikle @lixorloveslicorice @mix-os @slymewitch @the-gentle-dragon @the-final-knight @the-candy-maker

Could any of y'all summon the wizards for me?

Ask @mersinia very nicely!

@mersinia could you be a sweetheart and summon the wizards pretty please with a cherry on top?

This doesn't sound like something I want to happen

*looks around at the chaos* damn that pasta really got u good

Holy fucking God that was a shockingly quick 1800 notes.

spread the word we're gonna make OP regret ever opening a jar of Alfredo sauce

Impossible

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>:)

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

If you know you know.

... Extrapolating from incomplete data be like...

This reply deserves to be in its own reblog lmao

I feel confident enough to post these now. A collection of all the existing posters after some edits from the other post that got 13k notes! These are full size/quality. Go nuts.

You may use them for wallpapers, tabletop campaigns, whatever. Consider tipping me or buying a print or sticker on ko-fi here! If you do use them, let me know what for, or send pictures!

hope is a skill

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

favourite additions

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

body > iframe { min-width: auto !important }

A post shared by John Green (@johngreenwritesbooks)

And also Emily Dickinson ’s poem about the song of hope.

i don't care that they're that they're technically physically owned by a soulless corporation, i feel like that in spirit the muppets would and should be on strike

Kermit is up with union leadership making impassioned speeches about how we could all be kind and fair and how we all deserve a kind and fair world.

Miss Piggy is getting ready to burn someone's house down. Allegedly. Nothing is on fire. There's no law against making bespoke molotov cocktails. It's a hobby. So what it's got Bob Igers name written on the side.

why are people so mean to steampunk. what did steampunk do to you. are you too good for cogs? too good for goggles and a top hat? hmm??? bitch

it's kinda comforting to me when my friends are a little annoying or longwinded or abrasive or tired and inarticulate, or they don't do the exact politest thing in every interaction, and stuff, because I know I'm sometimes annoying, or take up a more than my share of conversational space, or forget to ask them questions, etc etc, and... like, I'm always working to be nice to my friends and to get better and better at friend-ing, but it just makes me feel more human about it :}

anyway I love you friends plz know I'm not counting, in fact I feel great affection toward you even (especially) when conversations go less than Perfectly Ideal

I'm not proud to say it but this line from a 60 year old detective novel made me re-think some things about friendship

Star Trek: The Next Generation // S07E12: The Pegasus

here he comes

Hello.

can someone dub in like a squeaky noise and an electronic voice that says "here comes a special boy!" every time data takes a step

couldn't figure out how to reblog with a video on tumblr so I put it on youtube

IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

THIS HURT MY LORD PLEASE SOMEONE PUT A NOVEL OF THIS IN MY EYES RIGHT NOW.

i honestly dont get why people stopped reblogging things they like on here bc like what are you afraid of??? people thinking youre cringey?? guess what bitch! youre on tumblr! it’s all cringey! reblog everything you like and do it shamelessly no one fuckin cares

people stopped reblogging things because it is a lot easier to like things than to reblog them on mobile, and that’s what the majority of people use. It’s a design flaw not the users fault

idk if most people are aware of this, but if you hold the reblog button down you can literally just swipe to the icon of the blog you want it to reblog to. it‘s quick and easy

I just reblogged this for a second timr. Wrote this note, too. On mobile. Took seconds. No biggie.

oh shit, it never occurred to me that people might be unaware of this!

i only have this one blog so for me a like is almost always an instant reblog

Vetalamierda

I'm sorry, the moment you hear someone with a voice that sounds like this guy put your hand in your pocket over your wallet and do not let go till you haven't seen him for 10 or more min.

When you move your hand your credit cards are all sevens

oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too. 

one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.

“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.” (mikko harvey)

“No man is an island” oh really? Really? What about him?:

Good morning to Banana the Lobster, and only Banana.

For a second I was really concerned that the lobster was transphobic before realizing the link is from the daily mail

I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!