horse: OH WE'RE GOING NOW? IT'S TIME TO GO? OKAY LET'S GO LET'S GO

WHOOO ALL RUNNING TOGETHER YEAH! I'M LEADING THE HERD! LET'S GOOO

If you like the word “queer” reblog.

#fun umbrella. we r all sitting under it like the big rainbow thing in elementary school gym class

Why did you give the last of your food to that poorly disguised mimic? You were finally at peace with letting go, but now this odd thing won’t leave you alone and is even turning itself into various items in an attempt to aid you.

The mimic is a young one, and you knew that from the moment you laid eyes on it. It was disguised as a crate, but the angles weren’t quite right. The corners were a little lopsided, and if you looked hard enough you could make out the creature’s mouth.

A sigh escapes you as you toss over the last of your rations, not even bothering to stand up as you do so. What’s the point? You think. I’ve been trapped in this cave for days, nobody is looking for me, and the monsters are closing in. Why should I bother even trying? I could just fall asleep now, and let this little mimic eat me too.

The thing is… it doesn’t. It eats your rations, but when you lay down and try to sleep, it doesn’t attack. You do hear it move closer, but you don’t open your eyes until you feel something nudge your hand. As you barely open your eyes, you can see that the mimic has morphed itself into a crude sword. You can’t help but chuckle.

“You’re cute, but I don’t have anything left to give you.” You don’t have anything left to give for yourself either, but you don’t say so.

The mimic doesn’t seem to take no for an answer. It becomes a dagger, then an axe, then a staff, as though it’s trying to determine what your preffered weapon is.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not working. I’m not going to pick you up and take you into some other part of this stupid cave system. Nice try, though.”

You turn away from it and attempt to sleep again. As you do so, you find yourself shivering. You really wish, as you doze off, that you had a blanket.

When you wake, much later, you’re surprised to find yourself covered with the warmest blanket you’ve ever had. You quickly sit up, eagerly hoping that someone had cone for you, but the cave is empty. When you look at the blanket, you notice the imperfect edges and the janky seam across the middle.

“…why haven’t you eaten me yet?” You ask the little mimic that’s now laying on top of you. “What’s wrong with you?”

The mimic, still in the form of the blanket, slithers off of you, but it does not respond. Instead, it begins taking the form of weapons again. When it turns into a crooked staff, you reach out, despite yourself. Your fingers wrap around it and you use it to haul your aching, injured body to your feet. “I guess there are probably nicer places to die.”

You know you won’t get far. And you don’t. Especially not without light. The mimic doesn’t seem too bothered, though. When you collapse again, it scuttles off. Perhaps this was simply where it wanted you to take it. Perhaps now you can finally succumb to your exhaustion.

Then, a few minutes later, a misshapen clay cup bumps against your hand. It’s full of water, and there’s a crack in the middle like a jagged mouth. You pick up the cup and you drink, telling yourself it’s only out of desperation. When you set the cup down, that little cracked mouth seems to smile.

This goes on for what feels like days. The mimic helps you limp along through the tunnels, transforming into whatever you may need at any given time. Every time you fall asleep, you expect not to wake up. Yet, you do, usually with a mimic blanket wrapped around you. It brings you food and water when you can.

The biggest surprise comes when one morning, you find you’re pleased to have survived another night. You’re happy to have the mimic keeping you warm. It’s a new feeling, and a confusing one, but it’s not unpleasant.

The other monsters that you know are down here seem to leave you alone for the most part. You aren’t sure why. It crosses your mind that maybe it has something to do with the mimic. Then again, maybe they’re just waiting for you to die. Death is gradually beginning to sound less and less appealing.

The day you catch a glimpse of sunlight down a long and narrow tunnel is the first day you finally feel like your old self again. Your pace quickens, and you don’t need to lean on the mimic’s staff form quite so much. The illusion shatters when you reach the light’s source. A small gap, high above. You curl up on the floor and cry. When you finally have the strength to look up again, your mimic has become a ladder.

Getting up is hard, in your state. Climbing, even more so. But the ladder is the biggest and best transformation the mimic has done so far, and if it wants you to get out, then you can’t let it down.

You feel it push up under you when you reach the gap. It helps you squeeze through, and then… freedom. Fresh air, and sunlight. You lay on your back on the stone, and you pass out.

You wake up at sunset, with a blanket draoed over you. A blanket with a jagged seam down the middle.

Danger. Fear. hide. Become rock. wait… calm. Hungry. find food. Smell food. See light. Dying fire.. Adventurer! Danger! Become box! Imperfect. Noticed. FearFearHumanRaisedHandFearThrowingBracing….

Not hurt. Human sigh. Near food. Danger? Prey?

Gift?

Eat. Filling.

Near human. Human resting. Danger? Observe.

ApproachFearFearFear. Observe. Become sword. Wait.

Nudgefearfearfear. Human sound. Imperfect? Become knife. No? Imperfect. Become axe. No? Imperfect. Become staff. Human sound. Human sound. Human turn. Imperfect?

Wait. Observe.

Human resting…. Human shaking. Puzzle. Human scared? No? Imperfect. Human cold? What do? Fear. Become fire.PainNO. pain. Imperfect. Human shake less. Human cold. Puzzle. Recover. Ideafear. Become blanket. Fear. Touchfearfear.

Touch.

Cover. Warm. Rest.

AwakeMovingFear! Fear! human. Human noise. Retreat. Imperfect.

Observe. Not danger.

Become sword? No? Imperfect. Become weapon? No? Imperfect. Become tool? Become warhammer. No? Imperfect. Human weak. Become small knife. No? Imperfect. Become walking stick. Human reaches. Brace. Touched.

Support. Move.

Human tired. Human injured? Imperfect. No blood. No angles. Darkness? Bad Idea NONONO. Human dry? Unknown. Human stop. Human collapse! Observe. Human in safety. Fix human dry.

Observe. Smell water. Distant. Follow.

Danger. Direwolf in water. Puzzle. Observe. Have height. Idea.

Become stone. Tumble. Pain. Imperfect. Direwolf flee. Perfect enough.

Pause. Recover. Observe. Become bucket. Fill. Climb back up. Spill some. Imperfect. At top. Some water. Perfect enough. Return.

Not back. Smell Direwolf. Fear. Have water. Caution. Observe. Crevice. Pour. Direwolf sound! Fear! Spill! Imperfect! Fear! Become stone! Direwolf approach! Become hard. Direwolf approach water! BadBadBad! Become Problem! Surprise! Bite nose! Bite! Direwolf sound. Direwolf leave. Calm.

Obtain water? Become bucket. No. Imperfect. Large. Become cup. Some water. Perfect enough. Careful. Return.

Brace. Human lift. Human drink. Human resting. Become blanket. Warm.

Time.

Split path. Human confused. Smell. Stagnant. Fresh? Follow fresh. Lead human. Support.

Time.

Smell prey. Hungry. Shake. Human sit. Quiet. Find prey. Split. Support human. Return. Human resting. Feed. Become blanket. Warm.

Time.

Light! Exit! Rush! Approach. Observe. Puzzle. Height. Hole in roof. Problem. Human noise. Human collapse! Human turn. Human noise… problem. problem. problem.

Puzzle? Puzzle. Observe. Climb wall. Difficult. Impossible? No. Approach roof. Reach hole. Puzzle. Observe. Human mimic mimic? Imperfect. Become rope? Imperfect. Human weak. Become staircase? Imperfect. Size.

Puzzle. Puzzle. …Create? Become StaircaseRope? Become… StaircaseRope. Imperfect. Shift. Shift. Puzzle. Shift. Become StaircaseRope.

Human turn. Human pause. Human rise. Human approach. Support human. Human climb. Imperfect. Perfect enough. Human rise. Human pause. Human noise. Human climb.

Human reach surface!

Become blanket. Cover human. Become… friend?

Dude this is an awesome addition. That the mimic thinks so much in terms of ‘perfect/imperfect.’ It makes total sense for something whose schtick is mimicking things as accurately as possible. But the first time it said ‘perfect enough’ was a gut punch at my own perfectionism. So ow

Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week

Drinking spiders??!

You put ice cream in a glass and pour soft drink over it. It creates a thick layer of delicious foam on top of a sweet, creamy drink with ice cream in it.

And yes I did attempt to get a picture by googling “Australia spider” like a fucking moron.

I think that’s called a float in the states. Although we usually plop the icecream into the glass after the soda. Similar effect though.

We wouldn’t be able to call it that because the word is way too easy to confuse with a floater, which is a meat pie floating in a bowl of pea soup. It is every bit as delicious as a spider though. I should get some pies and pea soup.

I would like to announce that this is not a standard Australian food, it’s exclusively a South Australian one and the rest of Australia is just as appalled as the rest of the world.

It’s not our fault that the rest of Australia is incorrect about food.

#WE HAVE SPIDERS IN AOTEAROA and they serve CUNT#im gonna steal ice cream from work this weekend and make spiders with it. i will steal the fizzy from work also#i fucking hate my boss 

Living your best life I see

“average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in South Australia and BADLY misinterpreted our survey question,,

another one

this might be controversial but i also dont really mind. people need spaces that are not the internet where they can be mean and have bad opinions about things because they can change. but capturing a permanent snapshot of a person and then judging them for that for the rest of their life is, actually, really fucking bad for someone's development as a human being

you understood my point beautifully and perfectly and i wish we could hold hands through the screen

This whole thread. Voting is a chess move, not a Valentine.

I feel like the psyops are back…

Ok let’s go over this again, for those with short memories:

The psyops work by taking (screenshotting or paraphrasing) REAL leftist takes by REAL people, (very often American POC,) generally where they are upset or discouraged about the us government or democrats specifically.

Then, the psyop either adds to the post (or in a separate post) something to direct the conversation into “things will never change” “voting does nothing” “politicians are all the same” etc.

The POINT of the psyop is to make leftists who agree with the REAL person who made the original post ALSO agree with the psyop, by conflating the two as being the same person, or at least being on the same side.

anyone who tells you not to vote is not on your side

So just netflix then

(This is part of a series btw!)

Not to out myself as living under a rock but what’s this in the notes about fairies and walruses

Someone made a poll asking what you would be more surprised to see knocking on your door: a fairy or a walrus. And most people answered “walrus” prompting a whole Thing™️

Ohhh okay I suspected it was a tumblr meme. Thank you I’ll be back in a bit

I’m back. Is this anything

Listen If I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the documentary lol.

me: "Have you seen the walrus discourse on tumblr yet?"

spouse: [heavy 10 second pause + blank stare]

spouse: [dramatic sigh]

spouse: "no."

Daredevil #6 - "Introductory Rites VI" (2024)

They were making fun of his cute new cold shoulder top, what else was he going to do, Daredevil?

My daughter: mom, “fanart” made a Wings of Fire book 16 but I didn’t like it.

Me: oh wow kiddo you’ve discovered fan fiction all on your own, huh. Here, let me show you something called “filters”.

Me: …but even if you filter, sometimes you might read something that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to close the story.

My daughter: mom this story didn’t capitalize “The Wall” so I closed it like you said.

editing is so fun. I'm learning what the story I wrote is about

sometimes after you learn what your story is about, you resolve to write a thematically appropriate sequel. this, unfortunately, means you have another section to edit, and now your story means two things. maybe more. imagine.

This post understands editing like nobody else. Everybody else delete your blogs. I want to be alone with OP so we can talk.

I refuse to believe anyone actually has a visceral reaction of disgust to pineapple on pizza. As far as “weird foods” go that’s one of the most tame examples and pineapple is probably the least offensive fruit to put in a savory dish. Pineapple antis are on some performative shit like the people who pretend to be really uncomfortable with the word “moist”

No I just...don't like pineapple? It being on pizza doesn't magical make it better

That's so valid! I think plenty of folks actually do have a strong aversion to pineapple in general, and perhaps specifically the combination of tastes/textures created when it's placed on pizza. Some people additionally are allergic to pineapple and don't realize it's not supposed to be physically uncomfortable to eat.

I think the question is more, why is pineapple the one we always seem to be hearing about? I know multiple people who straight up won't eat a pizza with onions on it, or mushrooms, sometimes green peppers, sometimes olives. These are all seen as incredibly "normal" pizza toppings, but the aversions are still present, and at least anecdotally, more numerous.

I remember being a kid and seeing all the kid media suggesting "Blech! Real kids all hate brocoli," and wondering, how did they land on that specific vegetable? Broccoli looks like little trees and tastes good with cheese. Why not the far inferior lima bean? Why not celery?

Why was there a bacon craze a decade ago? Why not sausage or ham? Why not beef jerky? It's interesting to think about this stuff.

So, why is pineapple the current point of pizza contention? I remember years ago anchovies were the topping one "had to" dismiss. Maybe in the future it will be something else. What shapes these positive or negative food trends?

According to The Economist:

If that's the case, I wonder what seemingly arbitrary inciting event precipitated other trends. I remember tons of kids ordering hamburgers without pickles when previously they were pickle neutral, after a Burger King Kids Club commercial had a 90s cool kid ordering a burger "his way," with no pickles. I'm not sure if the Facebook group is a step up or a step down from that....

Is pineapple the only common pizza topping that's notably acidic, or just the most prominent one, I wonder?

(I can't have pineapple on pizza anymore, which is tragic. I can barely have pizza with tomato-based sauce at all.)

Was the broccoli hatered because of Bush Sr? I feel like it was because of Bush Sr.