you've made it this far

Some goon : This word is made up.

Me, an intellectual : As all words are.

tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

my 2 stage “how to” to dealing with problems

remember: ghosts are typically immune to physical Things, such as fists or spears, because their bodies are not made of things. experts suggest using un-things when facing them in battle, like an un-spear, or a mildly breezy afternoon, or Concepts

*sucker punches a ghost with the feeling of longing*

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

an addition: when they calibrated the board by pressing the dots and everyone in class lost their minds

jameela jamil is like the only famous person i’ve seen that actually Cares about the way girls are being manipulated. celebrities preach and preach about the body positive movement until it’s time to sell fitness tea on their instagram, or until promoting an extremely unhealthy ideal becomes profitable for them in some way. it’s so gross to spew bullshit about self love to an audience of impressionable young people and then in the very next post demand that they buy x product in order to not be hideous lol 

THIS IS THE BEST BONUS STORY MARVEL HAS EVER PUBLISHED!!!

It’s funny b/c Spider-Man making no quips is usually code for “someone fucked up and Spidey’s on the warpath”. That’s probably why the fourth guy just said “uh-oh”.

the best thing about those panels is that you can feel peter’s agony caused by the inability to tell all the jokes

Me …………. 

*looks up at the night sky* *sees more stars than usual* *mood immediately lifts by 93%*

hey does anyone know the fastest way to clean up milk that’s covering every goddamn i nch of the  kitchen floor

i know a gal……she’s on her way

thanks

possible career choices:

i eat a lot of bread because it’s soft and i deserve it. also i am gorgeous

me, dumping a load of freshly washed but unfolded laundry on my bed: boy i’m sure gonna be pissed about this when i want to go to bed