I guess i'm just a desperate nerd like all of you

yeah the sex was good and all but now I need to get back to telling you about deep sea creatures

this was ultimate

this is what 6 years will do to a motherfucker

okay fine, here’s a more flattering then vs. now

One of the kids I’m babysitting rn just asked me, “Miss Amy, can I tell you a secret?” and then informed me that his brother does not have blood anymore, because they saw a doctor take it

Same kid that attended this Sunday’s church service in full vampire bat costume and screeched loudly anytime someone said his name

Update his two year old brother just handed me a partially squished cockroach

Today’s secret is “if I carry too many things, I die,” and he definitely, for sure did not tell me that specifically because I asked him to pick up his jacket moments beforehand

“Where’s the tiger?” the five year old asks, peering around the zoo. “I don’t see him!”

“Probably he had to get his covid shot,” says the three year old, nodding wisely.

How could I possibly forget this exchange

“You can’t play with my skunk,” says the three year old, snatching the toy from the five year old. “Mr. Skunk doesn’t like you.”

“Whoa, whoa,” I say, while driving. “Mr. Skunk likes everyone!”

The three year old makes direct eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. “Except the police,” he says darkly.

Overwhelmed! When the five year old learned that I’m having a bad day today, he immediately asked me to take him home so he can “get us a snack and help with whatever you want to do today.”

The three year old has offered to carry all the backpacks into the house, despite his former statements re: dying if asked to carry his own belongings

Baby elephant chasing birds..

"Loki developed a heart in series"

Then what was this?!

gen z: *blurry stock photo of lemons with the caption “lemn”*

Here have this

yup.

I laughed so hard at this