“Childhood trauma can affect a person so greatly because of its prescence in the time of developmemt. Events that would normally change a person become embedded in every fiber of one’s identity. It is this time of life which is so crucial to your entire future. This is the unique nature of C-PTSD, which doesn’t merely change a person, it creates them. It builds every trait, interest, and understanding of the world with this toxin. Nothing is unaffected or unaltered because all there is to alter was created by the trauma. Moving forward is not moving back to before the trauma, it is in every essence a rebirth and reeducation of life itself. To move on we can not erase, because to erase trauma’s effect we in theory erase ourselves.”

1. “Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile.”
2. “It reminded me of you.”
3. “No, no, it’s my treat.”
4. “Come here.  Let me fix it.”
5. “I’ll walk you home.”
6. “Have a good day at work.”
7. “I dreamt about you last night.”
8. “Take my seat.”
9. “I saved a piece for you.”
10. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
11. “You can have half.”
12. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”
13. “Sorry I’m late.”
14. “Can I have this dance?”
15. “I made your favourite.”
16. “It’s okay.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
17. “Watch your step.”
18. “Here, drink this.  You’ll feel better.”
19. “Can I hold your hand?”
20. “You can borrow mine.”
21. “You might like this.”
22. “It’s not heavy.  I’m stronger than I look.”
23. “I’ll wait.”
24. “Just because.”
25. “Look both ways.”
26. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”
27. “Try some.”
28. “Drive safely.”
29. “Well, what do you want to do?”
30. “One more chapter.”
31. “Don’t worry about me.”
32. “It looks good on you.”
33. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
34. “That’s okay, I bought two.”
35. “After you.”
36. “We’ll figure it out.”
37. “Can I kiss you?”
38. “I like your laugh.”
39. “Don’t cry.”
40. “I made this for you.”
41. “Go back to sleep.”
42. “Is this okay?”
43. “I picked these for you.”
44. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
45. “What do you want to watch?”
46. “You can go first.”
47. “Did you get my letter?”
48. “I’ll do it for you.”
49. “Call me when you get home.”
50. “I think you’re beautiful.”
51. “Are you sure?”
52. “Have fun.”
53. “Sit down, I’ll get it.”
54. “I made reservations.”
55. “I don’t mind.”
56. “It brings out your eyes.”
57. “There is enough room for both of us.”
58. “You don’t have to say anything.”
59. “Wow.”
60. “Happy birthday.”
61. “I’ll pick it up after work.”
62. “It can wait until tomorrow.”
63. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
64. “It’s two sugars, right?”
65. “I’ll help you study.”
66. “Stay over.”
67. “I did the dishes.”
68. “You didn’t have to ask.”
69. “I bought you a ticket.”
70. “You’re warm.”
71. “No reason.”
72. “I’ll meet you halfway.”
73. “Take mine.”
74. “We can share.”
75. “I was just thinking about you.”
76. “I want you to have this.”
77. “Call me if you need anything.”
78. “Do you want to come too?”
79. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”
80. “Is your seatbelt on?”
81. “Sweet dreams.”
82. “I was in the neighbourhood.”
83. “Stay there.  I’m coming to get you.”
84. “The key is under the mat.”
85. “It doesn’t bother me.”
86. “You’re important too.”
87. “I saved you a seat.”
88. “I’ll see you later.”
89. “I noticed.”
90. “You can tell me anything.”
91. “I hope you like it.”
92. “I want you to be happy.”
93. “I believe in you.”
94. “You can do it.”
95. “Good luck.”
96. “I brought you an umbrella.”
97. “I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
98. “Take a deep breath.”
99. “Be careful.”

“I’m at a 5 on the pain scale, but my distress is basically a 1 because this is my usual.”

“I’m at a 3 on the pain scale, but my distress is a 7 because this is new pain and affects a part of my body that’s very important to my work.”

“…because now society’s collective mind has been reprogrammed to think that people that suffer from chronic illness or disability, their narrative story should follow that of a 1980’s sports movie montage, wherein you receive your diagnosis, you go through a brief period of depression, you have some inspiring conversations with friends and family, and then you cowboy up. You write that novel, you go to college and get your advanced degree, you run a marathon. Whatever it is, there is a definite thread that you are expected to follow because we see so many of these inspiring, overcoming-at-all-odds stories, when in fact they are extra-ordinary achievements. They are not the normal, and should not be used as a baseline to judge all chronically ill people against. It’s completely unfair and unrealistic. For so many people that suffer from things like fibromyalgia, and chron’s, and ulcerative colitis, their Rocky Balboa moment for the day might be finding the strength to just take a shower, to stand in their own kitchen and fix themselves something to eat before they have to crawl back to bed because just that much effort is too painful or too exhausting for them. And yet our society looks down on those people now, we judge them as somehow lacking because they’re not rising up to achieve all these great things. We have completely unrealistic expectations of them thanks to too many inspiring stories. So now we look at them and judge them as somehow inferior, somehow weaker. They don’t want it enough.They’re not trying hard enough to just be better.”