“It is a pretty great view,” Lin said, lookin directly at Kya’s chest.
“I like the one in front of me better.”
“You just don’t have the right angle to appreciate what I see.”
“I have the perfect angle.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Would you trade? Would you trade Yui to be with us?” Ila knew it wasn’t fair to ask. She knew it was cruel to ask. But she wanted to know.
“If I left Yui, it wouldn’t make things better between Kuvira and I. It wouldn’t make us a family again. But I wouldn’t chose anyone over my children.” Yui would understand….hopefully. In any case admitting it was making her choke up.
“Would anything change how you felt about her? About Mom?”
“That relationship is in the past. I’ve moved on and found someone who loves me, not the romantic image of me. I love Yui.”
“You don’t deserve it,” Ila said before she could think better of it.
“No. But many other people have made worse mistakes and got everything I wanted. Life doesn’t deal out punishments that well, I’m afraid.”
“You could have had everything you wanted. You’re the one who threw it away, and we’re the ones who had to suffer the consequences.”
“At least your together. That’s more than I have.”
“And again, that was your choice. Mom would have taken you back. Spirits, she’d still take you back, no matter what she said to Kit. You could have had a family if you’d wanted it.”
“You know what, Ila? I’ve taken a lot of heat from everyone for the last few days, and I do understand. I made mistakes. But if I came back, I would be an outsider, I always was.”
“Kuvira and Lin left me to morn the murder of my baby alone! Leaving me to look after a toddler and tend the house and just assuming everything was so grand because I had a one breathing kid, a house and two big strong earthbenders to fuck. They never even checked in on me. Then got angry when I displayed a cry for help. I needed them, and they just wrapped themselves up in each other and left me with no one to console me! But it’s okay, right? Because I’m a damn waterbender nothing can keep a water woman down as long as they have a house to clean and a family to take care of. They abandoned me when I needed them the most!”
“I tried to get help several times, they always made me feel like a monster because I’d leave. But I left to get, help. And I came back okay, until they dragged me back down. This happened so many damn times, and I hurt you so much, and every time I got any better they hurt me again, and erased any progress I made!
“So forgive me if even after I got better I still believed those two would make me feel unwelcome- and by that I mean lecture me on putting my mental health over my children specifically for my children- and pull me down again! Forgive me for being afraid of the two who mentally abused me then blamed me for it!”
she took a breath, now openly crying, “Shall I leave now?”
Ila sat with her heart in her throat, shocked, distraught, at the accusations Kya made, at her description of Kuvira and Lin. She felt sick, angry, confused, and she had no idea what to say, no idea what she should say. “I heard shouting,” Kuvira said, coming in, not knowing what had happened. “Is everything okay?” She looked between Ila and Kya, seeing the both in tears. “Ila?”
“I’m afraid I might have been too honest.” Kya said wiping her tears away.
“It is a pretty great view,” Lin said, lookin directly at Kya’s chest.
“I like the one in front of me better.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Would you trade? Would you trade Yui to be with us?” Ila knew it wasn’t fair to ask. She knew it was cruel to ask. But she wanted to know.
“If I left Yui, it wouldn’t make things better between Kuvira and I. It wouldn’t make us a family again. But I wouldn’t chose anyone over my children.” Yui would understand….hopefully. In any case admitting it was making her choke up.
“Would anything change how you felt about her? About Mom?”
“That relationship is in the past. I’ve moved on and found someone who loves me, not the romantic image of me. I love Yui.”
“You don’t deserve it,” Ila said before she could think better of it.
“No. But many other people have made worse mistakes and got everything I wanted. Life doesn’t deal out punishments that well, I’m afraid.”
“You could have had everything you wanted. You’re the one who threw it away, and we’re the ones who had to suffer the consequences.”
“At least your together. That’s more than I have.”
“And again, that was your choice. Mom would have taken you back. Spirits, she’d still take you back, no matter what she said to Kit. You could have had a family if you’d wanted it.”
“You know what, Ila? I’ve taken a lot of heat from everyone for the last few days, and I do understand. I made mistakes. But if I came back, I would be an outsider, I always was.”
“Kuvira and Lin left me to morn the murder of my baby alone! Leaving me to look after a toddler and tend the house and just assuming everything was so grand because I had a one breathing kid, a house and two big strong earthbenders to fuck. They never even checked in on me. Then got angry when I displayed a cry for help. I needed them, and they just wrapped themselves up in each other and left me with no one to console me! But it’s okay, right? Because I’m a damn waterbender nothing can keep a water woman down as long as they have a house to clean and a family to take care of. They abandoned me when I needed them the most!”
“I tried to get help several times, they always made me feel like a monster because I’d leave. But I left to get, help. And I came back okay, until they dragged me back down. This happened so many damn times, and I hurt you so much, and every time I got any better they hurt me again, and erased any progress I made!
“So forgive me if even after I got better I still believed those two would make me feel unwelcome- and by that I mean lecture me on putting my mental health over my children specifically for my children- and pull me down again! Forgive me for being afraid of the two who mentally abused me then blamed me for it!”
she took a breath, now openly crying, “Shall I leave now?”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I wanted to do something for you.”
“I know, and I love that about you. But just being here is doing something for me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Very much so.”
Lin put and arm around Kya’s shoulders. “I’m sorry I got upset.”
“It’s okay. I just like the view in here to much to never see it again.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Would you trade? Would you trade Yui to be with us?” Ila knew it wasn’t fair to ask. She knew it was cruel to ask. But she wanted to know.
“If I left Yui, it wouldn’t make things better between Kuvira and I. It wouldn’t make us a family again. But I wouldn’t chose anyone over my children.” Yui would understand….hopefully. In any case admitting it was making her choke up.
“Would anything change how you felt about her? About Mom?”
“That relationship is in the past. I’ve moved on and found someone who loves me, not the romantic image of me. I love Yui.”
“You don’t deserve it,” Ila said before she could think better of it.
“No. But many other people have made worse mistakes and got everything I wanted. Life doesn’t deal out punishments that well, I’m afraid.”
“You could have had everything you wanted. You’re the one who threw it away, and we’re the ones who had to suffer the consequences.”
“At least your together. That’s more than I have.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I wanted to do something for you.”
“I know, and I love that about you. But just being here is doing something for me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Very much so.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Would you trade? Would you trade Yui to be with us?” Ila knew it wasn’t fair to ask. She knew it was cruel to ask. But she wanted to know.
“If I left Yui, it wouldn’t make things better between Kuvira and I. It wouldn’t make us a family again. But I wouldn’t chose anyone over my children.” Yui would understand….hopefully. In any case admitting it was making her choke up.
“Would anything change how you felt about her? About Mom?”
“That relationship is in the past. I’ve moved on and found someone who loves me, not the romantic image of me. I love Yui.”
“You don’t deserve it,” Ila said before she could think better of it.
“No. But many other people have made worse mistakes and got everything I wanted. Life doesn’t deal out punishments that well, I’m afraid.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I wanted to do something for you.”
“I know, and I love that about you. But just being here is doing something for me.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Would you trade? Would you trade Yui to be with us?” Ila knew it wasn’t fair to ask. She knew it was cruel to ask. But she wanted to know.
“If I left Yui, it wouldn’t make things better between Kuvira and I. It wouldn’t make us a family again. But I wouldn’t chose anyone over my children.” Yui would understand….hopefully. In any case admitting it was making her choke up.
“Would anything change how you felt about her? About Mom?”
“That relationship is in the past. I’ve moved on and found someone who loves me, not the romantic image of me. I love Yui.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I thought you wanted to try it.”
“No, that’s not what I was thinking. I like the springs too much to get banned.”
“Oh.” Lin flushed, embarrassed.
“Not that it isn’t a lovely thought.”
Lin tried not to be sullen, but she’d been willing to put herself out there. It felt like a rebuke, and she wanted to sink into the ground.
“You want to go find somewhere else?”
“No.” She felt childish, but she couldn’t help it.
“Lin, I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought we were having a conversation about kinks, that’s all.”
“I know. It’s not your fault. I just feel stupid now.”
“You shouldn’t. It is enticing.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Would you trade? Would you trade Yui to be with us?” Ila knew it wasn’t fair to ask. She knew it was cruel to ask. But she wanted to know.
“If I left Yui, it wouldn’t make things better between Kuvira and I. It wouldn’t make us a family again. But I wouldn’t chose anyone over my children.” Yui would understand....hopefully. In any case admitting it was making her choke up.
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I thought you wanted to try it.”
“No, that’s not what I was thinking. I like the springs too much to get banned.”
“Oh.” Lin flushed, embarrassed.
“Not that it isn’t a lovely thought.”
Lin tried not to be sullen, but she’d been willing to put herself out there. It felt like a rebuke, and she wanted to sink into the ground.
“You want to go find somewhere else?”
“No.” She felt childish, but she couldn’t help it.
“Lin, I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought we were having a conversation about kinks, that’s all.”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You should have come back sooner,” Ila said, fists clenched. “Then you could have fixed things! We could have been a family!”
“Yes, that was a mistake. I didn’t think I would be welcome.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I thought you wanted to try it.”
“No, that’s not what I was thinking. I like the springs too much to get banned.”
“Oh.” Lin flushed, embarrassed.
“Not that it isn’t a lovely thought.”
Lin tried not to be sullen, but she’d been willing to put herself out there. It felt like a rebuke, and she wanted to sink into the ground.
“You want to go find somewhere else?”
“Kid, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m mad.”
“You being here hurts her,” Ila said. “She tries to pretend like she doesn’t want you. She told Kit she didn’t. That her feelings don’t matter. But she’s in pain. I can tell. It makes me feel guilty for bringing you here.”
“I can leave, if it’s better for your family.” she looked down, but wouldn’t let herself cry, “You can call Airtemple Island when Kita’s ready for healing.”
“She wants me to get to know you. She said…” Ila swallowed. “She said that when you’re at your best, you’re amazing. I don’t know if I’ve seen that, but she wants me to give you a chance.”
“It matters what you and your sister want. If you want me gone, she’ll support that.”
“I want my mom to be happy. But you can’t give me that, even if you leave.”
“That’s a problem I’m familiar with.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Me neither.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
“I thought you wanted to try it.”
“No, that’s not what I was thinking. I like the springs too much to get banned.”
“Oh.” Lin flushed, embarrassed.
“Not that it isn’t a lovely thought.”
