Tallies (1) || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: This AU is based on an idea from an old prompt in which people have tally marks to represent how many times they have fallen in love. 

Peter has fallen in love a couple times, but never been loved back, and thats where you come in. Peter is in college, would say around 21-23, and so is reader and company.

Author’s Note: This has honestly been something that I’ve been wanting to write for a while, and finally found the time to sit down and write it. Though still testing the waters, so please let me know. Would most likely try to be a slow burn, like definitely be more than four parts.

Word Count: 2K

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“Ned, I told you, she isn’t in love with me,” Peter repeated for the eighth time in this same phone conversation, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

“Are you sure? I mean it could just take a while for hers to show up soon?”

“Ned, I really don’t want to say this but she did have a red mark, but it wasn’t for me,” he finally caved and explained the one fact he has kept thus far, “I didn’t think she would pull something like this, that’s why she can’t love me…because she loves someone else,” he sighed almost feeling the tally mark was burning his skin.

“Oh, I’m sorry dude,” he said after a long pause.

“I know but it’s not something you should apologize for,” he sighed, trying not to remember the events that occurred that morning.

“You can always come with me and Betty to the movies tonight, we can invite a few more people so you don’t feel like third wheel,” wanting to switch topics to hopefully cheer his friend up.

Peter knew that his friend was really trying to help but he really couldn’t think of leaving his apartment. He really needed to process the whole situation rather than distract himself from it, because he knew when he was alone, he would feel this low again. He looked down at his wrist seeing nothing but black tallies on his wrist, and let out a long sigh.

“Pete, you still there?” pulling him out from his thoughts.

“Yea just thinking about the offer,” even though he already knew that he had the answer.

“How about you think about it and let me know. I don’t want you to feel pressured,” always the supportive friend. “I would cancel on Betty but…“

“Thanks Ned,  don’t think Betty deserves that,” smiling knowing that Ned will always be his ride or die. “Think I’m a sit this one out,” his eyes still focused on his wrist.

“Offer will stands till seven, but if not, I’ll stop by tomorrow with food and can talk about it,” wanting Peter to know that he’ll be there through thick and thin.

“Yea tomorrow would be nice, I’ll text you if anything happens,” affirming that he wasn’t going out tonight, “have a great date Ned.”

“Thanks Pete. Hope to see you soon then,” he said.

Both said their goodbyes, leaving Peter  to let out a long groan of frustration. The palms of his hands pressed against his eyes hoping to keep the tears in that he kept in the whole day. Another black tally mark etched on his skin, great another failed attempted at love.

It was at times like these that wished he never learned about the tally marks, but it’s something unavoidable. He remembers days in which his Aunt May would sit down and talk to him about the tally marks that would one day appear across his wrist and tried to do her best to explain it.

“Alright Peter, so one when you find someone you really love, you’ll one day see a black tally appear right here,” pointing out her own single red tally on her wrist.

“But yours is red,” child Peter pointing out the obvious.

“I know, but if the person you love, loves you back, then it will turn red. Just like mine, yours can start off black, only depending who falls for who first. I can tell you first hand that mine showed up a month before your Aunt May’s did,” puling Peter’s attention from his aunt to his see his uncle setting down his stuff. Ben walked over to the two ruffling Peter’s hair to distract him from giving May a quick kiss.

“Hey it’s not my fault that you fell in love sooner than I did,” she joked.

“Uh, yea it is, you didn’t make it easy for me,” he smiled, “So what is this tally mark talk about?”

“Just curious,” Peter responded, “besides our teacher was going to go over it soon and wanted a head start.”

Peter smiled his tears gaining a bittersweet taste to them but figured that he may as well let out any tears at this moment. He looked at his wrist, nothing but black tallies and he would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t hurt him. He really didn’t get the idea of what was so difficult about loving him, but then again, it’s not like he can force someone to love him. But still he just felt like a below the belt when he saw his now ex-girlfriend, if she even considered herself that, sport a red tally that clearly wasn’t his. Peter let out a loud sigh, thinking it was just to just scour his social media and start to unfollow her but couldn’t force himself to delete old pictures of themselves.

Just a few moments later and Peter heard a large crash outside his door. Peter quickly got up and walked over to the door hearing already someone cussing from the other end.

———————–

You didn’t know whether to be mad at the carpet lining the floor or yourself for thinking it was a good idea to carry more than you actually could  because you really took a dive just now.  You were glad that the boxes you decided to carry were filled with things that wouldn’t break, but you couldn’t help the burn on your cheeks from embarrassment and hope that no one saw your fall.

You started to stack a few things to try to somewhat organize things, and decided now was a good time as any to open your door. You decided to take a few things with you hoping to prevent anyone from seeing your mishap. By the time you went back to your stuff, someone was already organizing your fallen mess.

“Hey, sorry about the mess in front of your door, just give me a couple minutes and it’ll be totally clear,” walking over to said mess.

“it’s no worry at all,” seeing the stranger get up and face you.

Your heart jumped to your chest seeing the face that although you have forgotten about over time, you could never truly forget. “Peter?” knowing full well that there was no doubt about it.

“uh do I know you?” his face really confused because he really couldn’t place your face to a name.

“It’s been a while, but remember me from middle school,” trying not to act like you weren’t even more embarrassed then just a moment before.

You could visually see his mind thinking back to middle school, and finally put the pieces together, “(Y/N)! Oh god, I’m sorry I didn’t remember, trust me have a few things on my mind,” and although you haven’t seen peter in years, you figured he still was the same bashful boy you hadn’t seen in years.

“no worries, I mean what are the odds, that your old middle school friend moves down the hall much less spill most of her stuff in front of your door,” trying not to  make anything more uncomfortable.

“yea guess so,” already sensing things slowly ease, “So you took over the empty loft, I think I heard about someone filling that room,” quickly picking up a few boxes, “ how about I help you out.”

Judging by him carrying boxes you knew that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, “sure guess we can catch up, plus definitely need the extra set of hands,” you said.

You didn’t know what it was about Peter but he really had a way to become instant friends with just about anyone that he met. You really were glad that he still was the same as the Peter you left behind at the end of middle school. It was almost easy being with Peter that it almost made it seem like you guys hadn’t seen each other in years but can already tell that moving in here was a great choice. You found out that he was still friends with Ned and kept in touch with Michelle, which he was already mentioning that he couldn’t wait to tell the others.  you really were glad that he already wanted to plan things out with you.

You would be lying to yourself if you couldn’t deny that although you could recognize Peter, he really had matured into someone very attractive, especially by your standards. The once round cheeks chiseled out into strong edges, small chucky arms and hands became defined and strong by the easiness that he carried large boxes. however, some traits didn’t change at all, his doe brown eyes still had the same glee and his smile still captured the room, at least it did in your opinion. But now with this stance and physique, he really could capture the room.

“So, you moving in all by yourself?” Peter asked bringing in heavier objects. You

“ Yea, just me though if its gets too pricey may ask one of my friends to move in with me,” you replied already seeing that more than half of your stuff was already moved in thanks to Peter’s help, “pretty sure she will like the space as well.”

You looked over at Peter seeing that he was staring at his phone, his default cheery attitude replaced by a saddened look.

“Peter, you alright buddy?”.

“Uh yea, just some,” not knowing the right words to say, or better yet not know the right words that didn’t make him want to cry again.

“Girl trouble,” you finished, doubting someone like him couldn’t be with anyone or have someone he’s interest in.

“Um, something like that,” figured that he didn’t know how to phrase it.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I mean we technically just met,” not wanting to push his limits, because you figured that he would tell you just to be nice.

“It’s not that, I just don’t want one of our few first conversations to be about how my girlfriend got a red tally,”  the words sounding so sour, “my bad I think I don’t think she was my girlfriend to begin with.”

“Red tally, then isn’t that a good thing?” not really understanding the problem.

“Yeah her and whoever she’s interested in, but definitely not for me,” lifting the side of his wrist and showing his black tallies., “just figured she’d be the first you know,” he said melancholy as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey her loss and their loss too, because I can already tell you that you have already been one of my better random male encounters in a while,” trying to cheer him up, though you figured you were failing at it.

Peter let out a small chuckle, “very funny but think I’m going to head out. Ned’s meeting me tomorrow for food, you’re more than welcomed to come,” he said trying to switch to lighter topics, “I’ll knock, see if you’re free ok”

“yea, sounds like a plan and really thanks for the help couldn’t do it without you.”

Peter said a small goodbye and walked out leaving you to finally press your hand against your chest. Your heart was racing, you knew that of course spending time with someone attractive like Peter was going to make you react but it was more. You knew that although you were glad to have met up with peter, but you weren’t sure if it was such a good idea in the long run. You finally decided to look down on your wrist, your eyes locking on your first tally mark. Your fingers traced over the black tally, knowing full well that the person who this tally represents is none other than your new neighbor, Peter Parker.

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End Author’s Note: So that was part 1, please let me know how it is. Still in debate if i should include peter being Spiderman, that is the other main opinion I would want, since I am really on the fence. Once again this is planned out to be a somewhat slowburn. 

Suggestions? Taglists

Currently posted this on another blog, in the process of moving URLs

DON`T JUDGE ME I`M SELF-INSERT AF

an ilustration for this soft and tender imagine i first read few years ago hope the writer would like my piece just as much as i love hers (AND WARREN PEACE MY EDGY INTELLIGENT BOY)

In A Crowd Of Thousands (Part II) —  Steve Harrington

Series: In A Crowd Of Thousands (other parts here)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader, side Billy Hargrove x Reader

Words: 1503

Summary: Y/N and Steve discuss the arrangements of their fake relationship.

Warnings: none

A/N:  !! PLEASE READ THIS !! Here’s part two! Again, if you wanna enter the tag list, let me know. Also, I had this idea I wanna try out… I’m gonna leave here a few questions about this part that will have some hints about the next part and I wanted you guys to answer them for me in my ask box so I can improve my writing and add a few of your ideas (read them only after you read this part though so you won’t get spoilers ahhah). 1. What do you think will happen in the morning before the party?; 2. Have you noticed anything weird about Y/N’s behavior?; 3. Do you think they’ll be able to convince everyone without kissing? Enjoy (: tagged ones are below the cut!

Steve had no idea how long he had laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling and waiting for sleep to come. No matter how hard he tried, his mind wouldn’t shut up. It was like all that had happened earlier that day had switched a button inside his brain that let all the feelings he had been so careful to hide — even from himself — out to the surface.

He kept analyzing every word, touch and lingering glance… Steve wasn’t a fool. He knew Y/N didn’t feel the same way he did, but sometimes she would just do something that would leave him wandering ‘what if?’.  And now he had just agreed to treat her like his girlfriend, to not have to stop himself from staring at her for too long, to be able to call her ‘his’ and it wasn’t real. The moment they were by themselves or the moment she got what she wanted, Steve would be just Y/N’s best friend again. It was almost as bad as not having her at all.

Steve looked at the clock beside his bed, remembering Y/N had said she would call him to “discuss arrangements”. Steve groaned, not wanting to know what she exactly meant by that. Almost as if on cue, Steve heard a knock on his door.

“Stevie?” Y/N’s voice echoed throughout the room.

Steve shut his eyes tightly before taking a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever would come next. “Come on in.”

He heard the door open and close and felt a body lay down next to his. ‘Great,’ Steve thought sarcastically, ‘have her body pressed close to mine is just what I need right now’.

“Hi, boyfriend.” Y/N said casually from above him, causing Steve to let out some sort of strangled noise in response. She hit him lightly in the chest. “Come on, stop being so uptight. Is this still about Billy? Because I already told you—”

“No, it’s nothing. Just drop it.”  Steve murmured impatiently.

“If it’s nothing then open your eyes and look at me.” Y/N dared him, her breath warm on his face.

Steve knew that if he didn’t, she would know that something was up, so he opened them. Y/N laid on her side, her arm supporting her head and her face just above his. Their faces were so close that if Steve moved his head up a bit, he’d be kissing her.

“There you go.” Y/N whispered, looking down on him. Steve thought he had seen something change in her eyes, but before he could pinpoint what it was, she had seated up with her back to him. Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding the moment she leaned away.

“Sit up. We have to talk.” Y/N said, her sweet voice now sounding serious and professional. Steve gulped loudly and did as he was told.

“I thought you were going to call.” he said as he adjusted himself on the bed so they would have a little more space between their bodies.

She turned her head to him and shrugged. “I was, but I don’t think that’s a conversation over the phone.”

That seemed to only make the atmosphere between them more tense — Steve nervous about what she was going to say and Y/N worried she wouldn’t be able to word it right.

“Besides, do you have anything better to do than hangout with your best friend on a Friday night?” Y/N said chuckling in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

The words ‘best friend’ just plunged the invisible knife deeper into Steve’s chest, remembering him exactly what he was and would always be. “What is it that you want to talk about?” he asked in a crude manner.

Y/N was clearly hurt by that, her smile faltering. “I, uh… I wanted us to set boundaries for our… You know…” she answered hesitantly.

“Our fake relationship?” Steve completed, focusing his eyes at her and shaking his head. “We never had boundaries before.”

“Well, yeah, that was before we started this.” she said and gestured between them with her hand.

“You said people already thought we were dating. I figured we would just not deny it now.” he told her scowling. 

Steve knew he had no right to feel angry at her. It was his fault that he let himself fall so deeply for her, but listening to Y/N talk about boundaries and their friendship just set him off. He was tired of boundaries. He was tired of having to always limit his actions and feelings when all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her how he felt.

“There’s more to dating than holding hands and hanging out, Steve.” Y/N stated. 

‘That’s all you think we do? Hold hands and hang out?’ Steve wanted to say, but he didn’t. “Like what?” he asked instead.

“Like kissing, for example. And pet names.” Y/N had her eyebrows furrowed and looked straight ahead, as if she had forgotten Steve was there next to her. “And love. And lust. And pure adoration for one another.”

“If we do that, wouldn’t it contradict our whole ‘we broke up because we were better off as friends’ thing?” he questioned warily, almost too afraid to listen to what she would say to that.

Y/N looked back at him again. “There’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with them, Steve.”

It would be so easy for Steve to say it in that moment — ‘I’m in love with you’ — but his mouth felt dry and the words just wouldn’t leave his mouth.

“And I love you.” Y/N told Steve earnestly. He had heard her say that to him so many times, but this time around it felt different. It felt like she was saying it with sadness, and Steve couldn’t know why.

Y/N turned her whole body to Steve, sitting with her legs crossed while facing him. “That’s why I want to do this right. I’d hate to lose you because you were being a good friend and helping me hook up with some guy.”

“You’re never going to lose me, Y/N.” he whispered, mimicking her position and sitting face to face with her. “Even if the guy is Billy Hargrove.”

Y/N let out a laugh at that, bringing her hands up and pushing him playfully. Steve smiled and grabbed her hands, bringing them down and lacing their fingers together. This was easy for Steve. Joking around and being affectionate with each other has been something they’ve done for as long as he could remember.

“Hey, Billy’s hot, ok? He’d be a good hook up, that’s all there is to it.” Y/N said and squeezed his hands. “You know, there’s only one guy who’s hotter than him.”

Steve’s heart dropped. “And who would that be?” he sighed.

“Oh, just some guy named Steve Harrington.” she said giggling. Steve felt his cheeks go red even though he knew she couldn’t actually mean what she had said.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” he mumbled, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Y/N pouted and cocked her head to the side. “I’m only telling you the truth.” 

Not a second later, Y/N let go of Steve’s hand and pushed him down on the bed once again. Out of reflex, Steve opened his arms and let Y/N lay down on his chest, wrapping his arms around her back.

This had always been Y/N’s way of telling Steve she wanted him to hold her. She would always somehow find a way to get him to lay down — that could happen just with a certain look on her face or literally her pushing him down — but she would never actually say the words. Steve never questioned her why, thinking it was just another one of her quirks and mannerisms he had grown to love.

“The party is tomorrow.” she stated suddenly. Steve only hummed in response. “And I’m guessing you won’t feel comfortable kissing me.” she continued on, her voice getting slower and quieter with every word.

The selfish part of Steve’s brain wanted to tell Y/N she was wrong, that there was nothing in this world he wanted to do more than kiss her. But, thankfully, the racional side of his brain spoke louder this time and he made the right decision regarding this whole situation for once. “No, I won’t.”

“Then we’ll have to really make it seem like we’re in love, Harrington.” Y/N breathed out on his neck before pressing a kiss into his exposed skin and cuddling further into him.

Only when her breathing had slowed down and little snores started coming out of her nose was when Steve gathered the courage to say it out loud. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

He let the words roll out of his tongue slowly, a relieved smiled plastering on his face as he forgot all the worries and heartbreaks the next day would bring and held the girl he loved.

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