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Mayor Cookie

@whitney-acnl

welcome to my pokemon/animal crossing blog. my personal blog is lovesadrugimanaddict. lvl 15, Bryce, Emo Kitten
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I visited the lush evening town of Clambake. Belongs to @brewsterscoffee

Enjoyed some fresh fruit, said hi to the friendly villagers, and absolutely fawned over all of the lovely natural elements.

5100-4022-5551

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shit that actually happens in pokemon:

  • a giant castle rises from the ground around the main government building. this is basically peta’s fault.
  • you ride a dragon-god into space to fight a meteor alien. this is plan b. plan a was to send the meteor alien to another dimension.
  • one guy tries to get rid of the oceans. one tries to get rid of dry land. What Happens Next Will Shock You.
  • a dude jumps straight out of the water onto an evil pirate ship, lowers the gangplank, then swims off to let a teenager deal with it.
  • there is a 1/3 chance that a runaway 11-year-old yakuza/mafia prince broke into a laboratory to steal an adorable plant creature.
  • you can buy a useless fish for several thousand yen from a shady salesman. this is actually a very good investment.
  • the devil, the god of death and the bringer of eternal nightmares all really really really like cake.
  • the space cultists would have won if dragon lucifer hadn’t showed up.
  • god is a goat, and if you take it to the right place, it will make you a baby god.
  • the most powerful trainer in the world (a 14-year-old with a pet rat) went up a frozen mountain for no apparent reason. he only comes down after you beat up his rat. this is absurdly difficult.
  • the effective ruler of the unova region is a magical catgirl space princess with a bunch of pet dragons. 
  • there’s a nine foot tall guy wandering around. his height is the least interesting thing about him. and his best friend is a flower fairy.
  • no matter how many times you win tournaments and get the jackpot at the casino, you’ll still never be able to afford a bicycle.
  • nothing will make this lazy thousand-pounds bear move from the middle of the road, aside from one particular tune that really pisses it off.
  • an Artist decides to fill his room with honey.
  • gym leaders are late to final battle for no particular reason; one game later, they still don’t have an excuse.
  • grandfather is beaten by 3 (possibly 4) increasingly younger kids.
  • the situation that happens most often in the games is that criminals dissolve gang and stop all activity because a 10 year old beat their pets.
  • criminals take a whole radio station hostage so they can cry on national radio.
  • island only exists on certain days.
  • interpol detective forgets how to speak the languages of the countries he was previously encountered in.
  • interpol detective dresses up as your mom.
  • green onion fairy takes you and your friend to the past so you can seemingly drive your rival’s father to suicide.
  • local Champion is mostly known across the country as “that rich pretty boy obsessed with rocks”.
  • you get a mansion for free.
  • pair of male characters visit your mansion together and insist they can’t stand each other.
  • you can cover God in ribbons.
  • you can use mythological deities of the ocean to do some sick surfing.
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merry christmas

Producers: Christina pls just sing Merry Christmas

Christina: MAAAAARRRRR *points* AAARRRR *raises hand* RRRRYY CHRISTMUUUUUUS YEAH *points* OH *points* YEAH OH *points* YEAH OH *points* YEAH OHHH *raises hand* OHOHOHOHHOH MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY YEEEEAH OH YEAH-EAH-EAH OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH  Y-EAHAHEAHEAH TOoooOOOOoooOOO *raises hand to ear* yoooouuuuuoouuu

MY QUEEN.

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cleromancy

you discover a fanfiction of your favorite character getting group fucked. excited, you click on it, only to discover that the writing is poor and the characterization is terrible. 

it is a shitty shitty gang bang.

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rjestudio

this should not have made me laugh as hard as i did

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