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Advice and support.

@adviceandsupportforyou / adviceandsupportforyou.tumblr.com

This blog is dedicated to promoting recovery and a better mental health for all people. My purpose my to encourage others to take actions towards a happier and healthier lifestyle. You are never alone.
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Anonymous asked:

generally i enjoy having some alone time and doing my own thing, but sometimes when i see my friends with their partners i think about how i’ll never experience that, and at night i lay awake feeling so lonely and empty. i don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction, so obviously i’ll never date, but i know my friends will and their s.o’s will be more important to them. i know i’ll live my whole life alone and ultimately die alone. it makes me feel like im missing out on so much. lucky me.

Hey love, 

I don’t think this is necessarily true. While you may not feel romantic or sexual attraction towards other people, you do feel friendships and platonic love, right? For me platonic love is a lot more important because I don’t put much faith in romance. My boyfriend is essentially my best friend. So I think you have a friend that you enjoying your time with it shouldn’t feel lonely. People with partners may spend more time with that one person but you may not need to. You may find comfort in a variety of friendships. You may find a friend who is similar to you and you can form a strong friendship with them as well. I don’t think you’re “missing out” as much as having a difference experience. We all experience love in different ways. Our love language varies and that’s the beauty of it. When I didn’t date - I went through a period when I didn’t care about dating - I spent a lot of time meeting new people, attending events, helping out my college department, and finding new hobbies. I didn’t feel lonely because I was busy. I was constantly around people that I loved and enjoyed being with and i was learning new things about myself. So maybe you should give that a chance. Explore yourself and meet new people. Create new friendships. I would also recommend befriending a few asexual/aromantic friends as well. They can relate to what you’re feeling and they can better inform you of what helped them!

-Kelly

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Anonymous asked:

Work trouble I get attacked and bullied blamed for everything when everyone knows I do no wrong. I keep my mouth shut and fix things they walk all over me. I now have to fight and argue to keep my job cause everything they caused and put blame on me when I wasn't the one who messed up.

Hey love, 

Is it possible for you to change your job? Is it your co-workers that’s bullying you? There should be a no toleration policy with your work place regarding this so please bring it to your boss. If it’s something that you don’t think you’ll be able to win, request to have your shift change so you don’t have to work with these people. In the meantime, start looking for a new job. You shouldn’t have to put up with this. If this is a recurring thing, I would advise walking away. If it’s a one time event, make sure that you stand your ground. You know that you didn’t do anything wrong. Can you prove that? Do it. Don’t let them blame you for something that was their fault. Not only will this bring down the company’s work ethic, it will have consequences later on. 

It sucks but don’t be a door mat for anyone. Fight if you can. Always fight back. You worked to get where you are. Don’t let anyone take that from you. If you have friends in the work place, confide in them and seek comfort in them. Please report all bullying to HR and your supervisor. 

-Kelly

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Part of recovery is feeling sad, or angry, or hopeless, or negative, or “fat,” or anxious, or uncomfortable, and sitting with those feelings without hurting yourself to change that. 

Recovery isn’t all about feeling happy. Yes, you will feel joy, but the ultimate goal is to be able to feel all of those feelings (even the “bad” ones) and be okay with that.

It’s okay to not be okay. Just don’t hurt yourself. 

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Anonymous asked:

Why do we accidently mirror the other person's body language when we are talking to them or just listening to them or are around them? Also does it always mean something or no?

I think it’s the brain’s way of linking people together.Typically if you are close to someone, you can find yourself mimicking their behavior,their dialect, their syntax, and much more. You may also find yourself having achange in your interest to suit theirs or vice versa. It’s a sign of closerelationship, in my personal opinion. I can’t remember verbatim what mypsychology book says but psychologically it does happen. Your brain observestheir behavior and in order to gain their favour, your body unconsciouslycopies them. It’s not always something major or alarming. Take a look around atyour friends. You may find that your speech pattern or their speech pattern haschanged as you become closer. You may have adopted a lingo that they used. Ithink it’s something that becomes a group’s identity. Whether you all start towear leather jackets, use the word “yeet,” or all flip your hair together, itbecomes one of the many defining features of your group. There is also a theorythat we intentionally synchronise our moments when the same goal is shared. Youcan read more on this if you want in “Interplay Between Action and MovementIntentions during Social Interactions.” It’s an academic journal written bySasha Ondobaka, Floris P. de Lange, and other scholars. So in conclusion, I thinkwhether we do it intentionally or subconsciously, it’s just something that helpus identify with the person(s) we are communicating with.

If anyone who has knowledge in this area want to shed somelight on the subject, please do! I love psychology but I am by no mean anexpert.

-Kelly

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This one is for people like myself who need a reminder that it’s ok to take a break, it’s ok to have an un-productive day, it’s ok if you got more done yesterday than today. You are still worth the same, you are still doing good. You can’t always be driving yourself at full speed or you’re going to crash. It’s normal and NECESSARY to not always be working.

Thanks to my friend @queerwonder for suggesting this one. I hope this puppo helps you remember to look out for yourself. 

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PSA to young girls

Certain breast shapes will never allow your breasts to appear “perky” and that’s normal/natural and okay.

“Cellulite” on the skin is a genetic aspect to how a female’s body stores fat. Since the fat cells are round, they appear indented in the skin. This is normal/natural and okay - every girl/woman has it.

Thigh gaps are genetic, too. Some women’s/girls leg/pelvic bones do not allow for a thigh gaps. Depending on weight distribution, genetics, and bone structure/density, it is normal/natural to have or not have one. Please don’t do something drastic to achieve one, your body may not be designed that way.

Your weight fluctuates as you grow and throughout the year. Often times your weight will go up when you are preparing for a growth spurt, or before your period (due to water weight retention). This is normal/natural and okay.

You will be hungry during your period due to the massive amount of calories burned due to shedding your uterine lining. This is natural/normal and okay, and your body is going through a natural process and increasing your diet in order to compromise for it (and keep you fed and healthy).

Finding a significant other is not important and not necessary for you to live a full young life. There is no time constraint to find someone, and you will be ten times happier when you allow yourself to have the freedom to be a kid and not worry about impressing people.

It’s okay to speak up and ask for what you want (or inform someone of something you don’t want). Ask that teacher a clarifying question, tell that boy to stop picking on you - find your voice and never let anyone take that away from you. Future you will thank you.

It’s time to stop worrying about being a girl, and start allowing yourself to be a kid. Be bold, be strong, be outspoken, be opinionated, be smart, be brave - be powerful!

Don’t forget to love yourself through all of the things life has to throw at you 💜

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