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Never ask Polo for help with Japanese.

@nekohoshi1 / nekohoshi1.tumblr.com

Hey there! I'm Stacy, an actress, cosplayer, and anime enthusiast who will never shut up about Bleach, Broadway, or Lucifer.
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sneakyfeets

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Manโ€™s carrier on the counter: hi heโ€™s here for shots and a nail trim and heโ€™ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, itโ€™ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well weโ€™ll try without first and weโ€™ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villainโ€™s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Manโ€™s more heinous crimes:

  • Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasnโ€™t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
  • Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
  • Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldnโ€™t/wouldnโ€™t move when we found him in the morningย ย 
  • Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
  • Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
  • Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
  • Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasnโ€™t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
  • Tricked me into loving him forever anyway

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

oh my god heโ€™s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend

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