when someone tries to convince me to eat healthily

“I feel very self-sufficient at the moment. I’m just going to work out who I am on my own and it’s quite liberating.” Helena Bonham Carter for Harper’s Bazaar UK, June 2016

When you’re cheering Michael Phelps but suddenly remember Michael Brown.

Im going to bed

is he okay?

hello darkness my old  friend

why are old people so obsessed with doing this

me as a castaway spelling with leaves:

tfw u get stranded😱😱😱😞😞😞😞😞😞😩😩😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 succs 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎😾😾😾😾😾😡😡😡😡💩💩💩💩💩cause theres no pokestops 😂😂😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌👌💯💯💯💯💯😜😜😜😜so whoever sees this 👀👀👀👀👀👈👈👈👈👈👈u know what to do😋😋😋😏😏😏😏😏😛😛😛😛😉😉😉😉💅💅💅💅💅💅

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” -Yves Saint Laurent

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

^absolutely

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

Waits for my white mutuals to reblog😌

yesyesyesyes

7. I am absolutely 9/10 of those stereotypes. My food is too spicy. I do make terrible White Dad Jokes. I cannot dance. I love pumpkin spice. If my children did things I would 10000% Suburban Dad them.

ah okay, that guy

don’t 👏 listen 👏 to 👏 the 👏 cure 👏 if 👏 it’s 👏 not 👏 friday 👏 and 👏 you’re 👏 not 👏 in 👏 love👏

“sparkling water” sounds… so pure. so aesthetically pleasing. but in actuality? it is…. Repulsive

Why is it that kinda creepy dudes almost universally seem to prefer the word “females” over saying “women?” Are they trying to sound academic or something? It’s like they’re talking about an animal species. “Let me describe my observations of THE FEMALES”

That’s because if you refer to a female as a “woman” you have to deal with the “Are you saying I look old” problem, and if you refer to her as a “girl” then you have to deal with “Are you saying I look like a child” problem.

The workings of the female mind us such a mystery that referring to them as seperate species is both the safest and most honest way to address them.

Have you spoken to a single woman in your life you fucking weirdo.