Scream Queens VH1 Recap - Season 1 Episode 4
Once everyone comes back from the grand ballroom, Tanedra is surprised that Marissa went home instead of Michelle, citing Michelle's acting as "not believable, at all. It's godawful." Lindsay also comments that Michelle "thinks she's a better actress than she actually is." Lina claims herself as "one of the better actresses here". Meanwhile Angela voices her frustration that she hasn't yet been to the grand ballroom or received any direct feedback. I guess that's what you get for being average.
The girls meet up with Shawnee for their mini challenge, and guess what? It's horror-comedy week! What could possibly go wrong? The girls have to perform a super lame scene from a black and white horror movie as just a head on a table, with a male model (aka. a terrible actor) as their scene partner. Lindsay correctly points out that you have to play the scene genuinely because the comedy comes from the cheesy dialogue. She basically kills it by committing fully to the seriousness of the scene with just a touch of over-acting. Tanedra, Angela, and Sarah also do well but over-act a little too much. Michelle plays it like an over the top Disney Channel skit while Lina tries to make it a musical and sings all her lines for some reason?? Like honestly they're both so cringe. But you are not prepared for Jessica. Oh lordy. I honestly don't know how in the world she thought her choice would be a good idea, but apparently she did. She plays it like someone making fun of a disabled person. Her speech pattern, mannerisms, everything she does, it's like... words can't even describe it. It's like a train crash that you can't look away from. If you don't believe me, click here.
Anyway, obviously Lindsay wins the guaranteed callback. Later in Homa's class, the girls are introduced to Melissa Cross, a "scream teacher" who ngl is pretty awesome. She gives them a mini lesson on how to scream without hurting their voices, then each girl is challenged to give a specific scream based on a particular scenario suggested by Homa. Everyone does pretty well except for Lina who gets told off for over-acting, and Jessica who gets in trouble basically for back-talking and not taking things seriously. Angela again privately voices her frustration over no direct feedback from Homa.
Later during dinner, some guy dressed as a zombie comes into the house and the girls all run screaming because omg what a funny prank haha. Angela takes an envelope from around his neck containing their scripts, and a note that tells them they will be auditioning for individual roles in a mock comedy-horror movie trailer called Reform School Zombie Squad. Once she's done reading the note, however, the zombie fucking pukes on the ground and it's like... why?? Who has to clean that up? Why was it necessary? Seriously wtf producers. The girls read through the scripts and find that two of the characters have a make out scene, which Michelle and Lina both say they would not be comfortable doing. Angela has a cry about not getting feedback.
At the audition the girls meet James, the scriptwriter Caleb Emerson, and James' brother Sean Gunn (from Gilmore Girls and Guardians of the Galaxy) who will be the girls' co-star. In their one-on-one auditions, Lindsay goes first and kills her audition for Luwina, which Sean says is "pretty good". Angela auditions for Dana and basically just screams the whole time, which James calls "weird". Tanedra auditions for Carrie and kills it, followed by Jessica and Sarah auditioning for the same character and bombing. Michelle auditions for Shannon and does well, and when asked, tells James she wouldn't be comfortable kissing a girl. Lina bombs her audition for Luwina, doing a pseudo-impression of a black person which Sean calls "borderline racist" and "the worst". James asks her TWICE if there's anything she'd have a problem with or any characters she wouldn't be comfortable playing, and she says no. I'm sure that won't come back to bite her later. The cast is announced as follows:
- Michelle as Shannon, the slutty prostitute with the "great vagina" (which Lindsay comments was an "obvious choice, basically playing a tackier version of herself")
- Jessica as Lisa, the rich girl with a ball gown and tiara
- Lindsay as Luwina, the tough girl from the streets
- Angela as Vanessa, the cat burglar and one half of the kiss
- Lina as Cat, the Catholic school girl gone bad and the other half of the kiss (HAHAHAHA)
- Sarah as Dana, the crazy hockey mask girl
- Tanedra as Carrie, the surfer chick and leader of the group
Lina of course complains that she was cast as one half of the girl on girl kiss, and then (probably when she realises the grave she's already dug herself) decides that she's just going to "pretend". lol okay girl. That's the least of her problems though, because for some reason she decides on a horrible screaming voice and lots of tongue-wagging and screeching for her character which just does not work in any way, and refuses to drop it even when James specifically and repeatedly tells her to. Sigh.
Everyone else does pretty well in the challenge tbh, taking James' directions well and also working well with Sean, doing some improv etc. Michelle, to her credit, has a hilarious scene which she kills, in which she gets naked in front of Sean's character along with the line, "Review this record, warden. And by record, I mean VAGINA." It's fucking hilarious.
The time has finally arrived, and Angela and Lina are in their bikinis preparing to shoot the kiss in the hot tub. James describes the kiss in graphic detail which finally gets Lina to admit to him that she doesn't want to do it. Angela mentions that Jessica is down to do the kiss instead, so while she gets subbed in, James basically reads the riot act to Lina (politely, bless him). She tries to make excuses and he's like, "I asked Michelle too and she said no", so she finally apologises to him. In her talking head, Lina says she's "not difficult to work with" and "not a diva" which are both blatant lies, and that her acting isn't an issue which I'm like - girl look in a fucking mirror. Meanwhile Jessica and Angela do the make out scene and it's hilarious, with lines such as, "God, this feels so wrong!" and, "But we can't, we're sisters!"
The next day Lina has a go at Sarah out of nowhere about her apparently leaving a mess in the kitchen / living room, even though Sarah says none of the mess is hers. Sarah (correctly) accuses Lina of being insecure about her shitty work during the main challenge. They have a full on screaming bitch fest in each other's faces while most of the other girls basically just watch them lmao. Lindsay reads the list which mentions Michelle is the week's leading lady, and summons only Angela and Lina to the grand ballroom. Michelle bursts into tears because they are her two closest friends in the house.
There's not really much to be said about this episode's judgement to be honest. Angela gets called out for being really average and fading into the background. Meanwhile the judges go all in on Lina for not only lying about the kiss and stalling production, but also for her terrible performance. Lina gets the axe, and even in her exit talking head, insists it's not because of her acting. Bye, you delusional asshole!
Stay tuned for Season 1 Episode 5!