Any ppst frequency is daily when you reject time. Like i dont reject time but will use it as an excuse anyway

I have felt next to dead inside for days now. Paralysed by the fear that is perfection. I need to remember that good enough is really fucking good and all i need for good enough is progress, No matter how small or shit i need to slowly wade forward. I think i am going to kick my own ass tomorrow and not allow myself my typical distraction untill after 8pm just to see if i get bored enough that the mental stimulation of work can overcome the fear of beginning.

I think i have rengaged with this platform to give myself a place to create pointlessly without regard to reception, reaction or grade.

I have not let myself create without purpose for too long. Maybe i will start working on a table top setting soon just to discard it and start anew just for the pure joy of selfish creation

Okay so like poetry dump over for now today has been fucking exuasing I hate being in a group with nurotypical straight hets that are also boring ?!?! like wtf where is your spice

Hey anyone know where to contact my mum? send her this letter (but like dont though she is terrifying )

Dear Sally, or as my siblings still call you mum, I have not heard from you in over a year.

I guess you haven't needed anything from me.

The last you reached out was to ask if I could spare a laptop for a child of yours I had never even meet, this is nothing new you always put me last.

Your only hoped I would end up gay to make your house pretty, love for me only superficial no wonder you only wanted me for interior design.

In the past I would have said that I am sorry that I have disappointed you by not turning out gay or even turning out a man but for a long time I have held you in distain taking  joy in going against your designs.

I will never be of use to you again no matter what you need, you will never get this letter, you will never again receive my validation.

I made my exterior grey and stone like to escape your interest suppressing and hiding the beautiful geode hidden within, just like the amethysts you so loved.

Safe and distant from you do I can finally open again, hoping you have lost interest. Showing the world myself but more importantly discovering who I am.

Sally, Mother, Tyrant, I may never recover but out of pure spite I will push forward and outshine anything you ever could have hoped for me.

No longer yours,

Lily Westbury

Wanna see my compare myself to my sibling SPEED RUN

Reflection

Just got into Monash. Can't even write

Wins a competition. Failing chemistry

Making fast friends. In their room again

Independent at sixteen. Still not at twenty-six

Graduated at fifteen. Year ten again

Praise sung from the rooftops. Hushed disappointment again

ALSO TO MY ONE FRIEND ON TUMBLR MAKE ME HANG OUT WITH YOU I MISS YOU AND HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NEED TO DEAL WITH MY CRIPPLING AGORAPHOBIA @cheerupkeaton

Untitled

You never expect the tipping point the point of no return when everything changes. For me the tipping point was a meme a top text bottom text meme about Fallout New Vegas, about trans femme people liking my favorite game Fallout New Vegas.

This is what pushed me over the edge made me stop denying myself and my femininity that was building under the surface.

…

Hey fuckos you know how I said this tumblr is revived and am gonna try every day and then DIDNT! well time to do a massive poetry dump have fun sorting though my Identity

I am going to post at least once a day. I expect nothing of anyone following but am thankful for any time people give to my mind

This tumblr is revived. It is going to become a space for me to put poetry, thoughts and journeys into the world as an extension of my mind.