Eat, you'll feel better.

                                                     The Support  a harry potter rp blog for Dorea Potter, Remus Lupin, Charlie Weasley and Fabian Prewett

remus moved homes!!

                                                     The Support  a harry potter rp blog for Dorea Potter, Remus Lupin, Charlie Weasley and Fabian Prewett

Since i am active again for the time being, this is where Remus has now been moved to   feel free to follow after him if you want to ~

“You should give a damn! I care about you! And so you should care about you too, ok? Look around! I am crazy, my body is falling apart and I have noone to blame but me. Look at yourself, I dragged you into this mess! I have landed every single one of my friends in the Hospital wing.”

Somehow having Sirius sit beside him, helped him breathe, just for a moment, even though it still felt like not nearly enough air was reaching his lungs. Much quieter than before he finally nodded.

“Well yeah, but you and James aren’t brothers by something as accidental as blood, but by something much stronger: by choice.”

“You are not crazy Remus, I should know.” Sirius wraps his arms around the other, unable to stop himself. Remus should never feel like this, the other deserved to be happy. It wasn’t Moony’s fault all of this happened.

“We love you Moony, that’s why we don’t give a damn. Its worth a few trips to the hospital wing for us to be able to help you. Hell me and James get hurt more playing quidditch against Slytherin then we do spending the full moon with you.”

Sirius put his head on the other’s shoulder. “He doesn’t know me though moony, not really. I’m not as different as I try to be.”

Leaning against the other Gryffindor, Remus fell silent for a moment, enjoying the company and warmth that seemed to radiate off of Sirius, believing his words, believing that there might be a future.

“it shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t get hurt just because you want to help me. I’m putting you all in danger.. I.. I can never ever repay you.”

Breathing in the familiar scent of Sirius hair, Remus felt his heart clench, where before his anger and hate had been in his gut, with the other boy this close everything seemed to have settled down. “How many Blacks do you know, who enjoy pranking the Hogwarts staff? How many people in your family would defend a halfbreed, even when it’s against one of their own? How many of them managed to become animagi in just three years, while still at Hogwarts? They may have raised you, but you grew up to be so much more than them.”

“You’re too kind for your own good.”

“See in a way you’re my family, so let me take care of you while you take care of them Deal?” It was a sincere question, he had grown rather attached to Reyna, her daughter as well, it was like he too was slowly starting to fit into this entity that was ‘the family’.

“Did you ever roll your eyes so much in one day, that they ended up being sore?”

Heading back to close his front door, Remus watched the last cat vanish behind his home, before following Reyna into her home, tucking the box of condoms away into his back pocket.

“You can take care of me when I’m dead.” She grumbles sarcastically, ignoring him for the most part. It wasn’t that she was annoyed or anything, it was just the first response that came to mind. After all, she didn’t really see herself needing taking care of, not unless she got herself into a situation she couldn’t control. Even then, she didn’t think Remus would be able to do too much.

“One time I did… My eyes were sore for a week, it was terrible.” Reyna replies, glancing over at him as she walked inside. She lit a candle, then another before heading to feed her cat; the one that was actually hers and stayed inside. “Morning, kitty.” She cooed, grabbing the small cat and petting it before setting it down so it could eat.

“–So where did you come from, Lupin? What’s your story? I’m starting to think you’re s t r a n g e r than me.”

“Kind of hard to take care of somebody when they’re dead. Believe me I tried.” Not the fondest of memories, by far, but over time he slowly learned to think back to their happy days with fondness. “I know you’re strong enough to take care of yourself, just let me help out once in a while so you can get some rest.”

The cleansing scent of freshly lit candles was one of Remus favourite he could never even begin to explain why, it just had something utterly comforting to it. That aside, he still marveled at the fact that the cat never managed to knock them over and thus burn Reynas entire home down.

“What me? You are aware that you’re a young single mother who is psychic and lives surrounded by at least two pacs of cats. What could possibly be stranger than that?” One might assume that over the years lying about his life had become second nature to him, and to some degree it was true, but lying had always been harder when the person on the other end had become a close friend.

Fearing that Sirius had sold him out was one thing, not easy to ignore, but throutly possible. Hearing him confirm this thought was something completely different. No, no this couldn’t be it, there ad to be some other reason. Slowly shaking his head, Remus tried to force his mind to come up with some different reason, some explanation.

“No, this is not like you. You wouldn’t.. “

Finally he met his friends eyes again, confusion and fear in his gaze.

“How am I a good person? You’re my friend, and yet I have gotten you hurt on multiple occasions! And it’s not like they were accidents either. Prongs told me. It’d only make sense for you to pay me back at some point. I caused so much suffering.. you were right to do this. Thank you.”

Breathing was starting to get harder, making his words more and more slurred. “You can still save things. Patch things up with James. He’s basically your brother he’ll understand.”

Sirius wanted to hug the other so badly, Remus was hurt and it was his fault. He couldn’t though, who knew what he could do to the other if his control slipped while he was holding them. 

“I don’t care Remus, you can hurt me all you want and I would never give a damn. You’re my friend and if you think broken bones is bad enough to change the fact that you’re a marauder then you’re crazy.”

Sirius sighed, sitting down on Remus’ bed, honestly wanting to help calm the other down. "Remus, sometimes brothers aren’t brothers anymore. I have a little brother, and look at him. He hates my guts.”

“You should give a damn! I care about you! And so you should care about you too, ok? Look around! I am crazy, my body is falling apart and I have noone to blame but me. Look at yourself, I dragged you into this mess! I have landed every single one of my friends in the Hospital wing.”

Somehow having Sirius sit beside him, helped him breathe, just for a moment, even though it still felt like not nearly enough air was reaching his lungs. Much quieter than before he finally nodded.

“Well yeah, but you and James aren’t brothers by something as accidental as blood, but by something much stronger: by choice.”

Tired eyes rested on Sirius, his tortured brain trying to comprehend. “You’re a marauder, Sirius. You’ve basically been adopted by the Potters. Over all these years, you have done everything you could to help me. Even now. You are nothing like them.”

“How can you say that? I almost killed Severus last night. And I didnt even know it.. You know too well that I’d kill everybody in this school, if I would ever be late. If something went wrong and I wouldn’t get locked away in time… I see it, you know. I have dreamt about it. What if you ever had forgotten to turn? I’d ripped you apart, without even flinching.”

Attempting to soften the bitter grimace his face had become, he tried to smile. “It’s the right thing to do. If he doesnt report me, I have to do it.”

A tear ran down his cheek. Despite everything he couldn’t help but feel happy, how did he deserve such good friends? Somehow he had been lucky enough to have spent six wonderful years among people who actually liked him, who cared. To actually think he could have a life, a future. It had been a dream. Having this memory was a gift he’d hold onto forever.

“You are an idiot. But one of the good kind. You have to forget about me. Please. I need to know that you’ll be happy.“

“You’re wrong Moony, I hate Severus and simply because I hate him I would have let him unknowingly walk into his own death. I wanted him dead, and if I was successful it would have been you in Azkaban. How is that not like them Moony?”

“Don’t you dare, none of this is your fault. I brought him there. You’re a good person, you never wanted to be what you are and even with the whole werewolf thing you never want to hurt anyone. You’re a better person then me.” 

Remus was crying, shit he never meant for that. He just wanted to let them be happy and Sade, they didn’t need him. He was broken, why would they keep him around knowing that he could hurt them?

“I won’t be, I was happy before. I can’t be happy I ruined everything.”

Fearing that Sirius had sold him out was one thing, not easy to ignore, but throutly possible. Hearing him confirm this thought was something completely different. No, no this couldn't be it, there ad to be some other reason. Slowly shaking his head, Remus tried to force his mind to come up with some different reason, some explanation.

“No, this is not like you. You wouldn't.. “

Finally he met his friends eyes again, confusion and fear in his gaze.

“How am I a good person? You’re my friend, and yet I have gotten you hurt on multiple occasions! And it’s not like they were accidents either. Prongs told me. It’d only make sense for you to pay me back at some point. I caused so much suffering.. you were right to do this. Thank you.”

Breathing was starting to get harder, making his words more and more slurred. “You can still save things. Patch things up with James. He’s basically your brother he’ll understand.”

“I’d really appreciate it, thank you. That’s quite an impressive feat for a kid!” Taking a seat besides Thorn, he rummaged though his bag for a Toffee. “Yeah, this place really grows on you. Especially around winter.” Watching the people walk by, paying no attention to him, because they were all deep inside their own thoughts, usually put his mind at ease.  “What’s it like having your own place?“

He pulled his bottle of pills out and took two out, he took some of the chocolate out and quickly took the pills and then ate the chocolate. “It’s okay, my parents were always too busy so I’m used to being on my own, mummy was always traveling and father was too busy so I was raised by a nanny whenever I wasn’t at Hogwarts. I like it because I’m used to being on my own having free reign.” He smiled as he put his pills away and took some paper out of his bag. “I decided to go to school in the muggle world, I’m at college, I go back next week.” He handed the paper over to the younger man, words forming on it as he did, “That’s the spell.” He didn’t need his wand to write on the paper, there were a few spells he could do with just his hands alone.

“College, huh. What’s it like? I’ve been thinking about getting a Muggle education too, but I’m not sure if Hogwarts has a different focus than Muggle schools.” It would definitely be a challenge to get accepted for any decent training in the wizarding world, if not impossible. Damn all of the new werewolf regulations to hell!

Glancing over the note he smiled, it was a quite intricate piece of spellwork, he'd definitely have to practise for a bit. “Thanks mate, I appreciate it.”

Wolfstar

Anyone who has never seen this sight doesn’t have any luck in the world.

(Which I think means, based on how many times I’ve had the honour of witnessing this impressive black waterfall of hair following after an impressive unstoppable beauty of a woman, I’m one of the luckiest people in the world.)

As logical as it was that Sirius wanted to leave it still hurt him. The guy had probably just destroyed his life and yet the thought of him moving out hurt like somebody had just stabbed him. Why was he so shocked by this? It had been quite obvious that Sirius was angry at him, probably even disgusted by him. And he was certainly right to. An unusual smell filled the air, it was kind of salty, if he didn’t know any better he’d say it were.. Tears.

Of course, he didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to loose James and Pete.

“Dont. I should be the one to move. Never understood how you felt safe sleeping in the same room as me anyways. Plus I’ll probably be taken away soon.”

The thought sent a shiver down his spine. The big men coming to take him away had been the threat that had been hanging over him all his life. Being shunned, hated, called a bloodlusty murderer. And they were right to.  All Sirius had done was show him what a liar he had been. Pretending to be human. Pretending to be a harmless young boy, when really he was at most 30 days away from being a cold hearted killer without remorse. There was the reason he had been looking for. And now Sirius would loose his friends, just to show Remus who he really was.

“I’ll tell James and Pete that it wasnt your fault, you can still have a happy life.”

“No, they won’t be safe with me here. You aren’t a danger to them Moony, I am though. I’m a Black” 

The name Sirius usually spat out with hatred was just said in a sad tone, he couldn’t change who he was so why be pissed at the name when it was what he was and what he could never escape.

“They won’t, if he even thinks of telling I’ll tear out his tongue. I won’t let you get hurt because of this, it was my fault.”

His fault for thinking he could be happy, that the darkness he was born into would go away because he walked away from it, he deserved to be put in Azkaban. He shouldn’t be free, he would just end up killing someone. He couldn’t stop himself, he had been trying for yearsnto keep the darkness at bay and now he had finally failed.

” It wouldn’t be happy, not without you. Your my friend Remus, and I am an idiot.”

Tired eyes, rested on Sirius, his tortured brain trying to comprehend. “You're a marauder, Sirius. You've basically been adopted by the Potters. Over all these years, you have done everything you could to help me. Even now. You are nothing like them.”

“How can you say that? I almost killed Severus last night. And I didnt even know it.. You know too well that I’d kill everybody in this school, if I would ever be late. If something went wrong and I wouldn't get locked away in time... I see it, you know. I have dreamt about it. What if you ever had forgotten to turn? I’d ripped you apart, without even flinching.”

Attempting to soften the bitter grimace his face had become, he tried to smile. “It’s the right thing to do. If he doesnt report me, I have to do it.”

A tear ran down his cheek. Despite everything he couldn't help but feel happy, how did he deserve such good friends? Somehow he had been lucky enough to have spent six wonderful years among people who actually liked him, who cared. To actually think he could have a life, a future. It had been a dream. Having this memory was a gift he’d hold onto forever.

“You are an idiot. But one of the good kind. You have to forget about me. Please. I need to know that you’ll be happy."

When he had woken up, the pain radiating through his body had been horrifying, it still was screaming inside his head, tearing at his ability to move and think. Things hadn’t been this bad since his friends had been there, helping him, distracting the beast.

Initially James didn’t want to tell him, he had just sat there, looking angry and sad, not responding when Remus asked if there was something wrong. It had been Peter who finally filled him in. Even though the words arrived in Remus’ mind, he didnt want to believe them, didnt want to think about the consequences. Staying in bed had become impossible, despite Madam Pomfrey’s determination. There was no way he’d spend what could well be his last day at Hogwarts in the Hospital Wing, not to mention that their first class that day was Charms with Slytherin. There was no way he could possibly go in there. Or anywhere near Severus for that matter.

The door opened after about half an hour later, when Sirius entered their dorm room, making Remus tense up, causing him to flinch as his muscles screamed in pain. Things between Severus and Sirius had never been well, everybody knew that, but with their friendship growing stronger, and his friends risiking everything to become Animagi. Selfishly Remus had thought that he was more important to Sirius than his feude with the Slytherin. As it turned out he wasnt. If Severus went to the Ministry, or one of his more extreme friends, this could easily lead to Remus getting expelled, maybe even imprisoned or sent off to Azkaban. “How could you do this to me Padfoot?”

The question was out of his mouth before his brain could even start to point out, why he shouldn’t ask it, his voice barely audible, as the wolf had proably been howling all night.

The question broke his heart, he wanted to breakdown and apologize and tell Remus everything. The other would only hate him more if he told them though, after all wasn’t madness one step into darkness?

“I’m sorry, I’ll ask McGonagall for a dorm change so you don’t have to see me anymore.” 

Sirius whispered, so the other couldn’t tell how strained his voice was from yelling at himself all night. He tried not to cry but he couldn’t stop himself, he was going to lose everything because of this. He wouldn’t have family or friends anymore, he would be hated by everyone he cared about. 

” I’ll just get my clothes and you’ll never see me again.” 

He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to lose everyone because of his own lack of mental control. He couldn’t stop the madness though, he betrayed his family and they still had control over him. He almost wondered if they knew it was in him from the start, if they had just let him have his rebellion knowing in the end his mind would break no matter what.

As logical as it was that Sirius wanted to leave it still hurt him. The guy had probably just destroyed his life and yet the thought of him moving out hurt like somebody had just stabbed him. Why was he so shocked by this? It had been quite obvious that Sirius was angry at him, probably even disgusted by him. And he was certainly right to. An unusual smell filled the air, it was kind of salty, if he didn’t know any better he’d say it were.. Tears.

Of course, he didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to loose James and Pete.

“Dont. I should be the one to move. Never understood how you felt safe sleeping in the same room as me anyways. Plus I’ll probably be taken away soon.”

The thought sent a shiver down his spine. The big men coming to take him away had been the threat that had been hanging over him all his life. Being shunned, hated, called a bloodlusty murderer. And they were right to.  All Sirius had done was show him what a liar he had been. Pretending to be human. Pretending to be a harmless young boy, when really he was at most 30 days away from being a cold hearted killer without remorse. There was the reason he had been looking for. And now Sirius would loose his friends, just to show Remus who he really was.

“I’ll tell James and Pete that it wasnt your fault, you can still have a happy life.”

scarredmarauder liked for a starter

Sirius didnt want to see Remus, or any of his friends for that matter. How could he want to after what he had done, how could that ever be his friends again after last night? He had sent Severus after Remus, on a full moon when he knew Remus would have killed or possibly turned Severus.

 Yet he went ahead with it, and sent Severus to what would have been death if not for James. Sirius knew he was mad, it was there in his blood and it just wouldn’t go away. Now his madness had finally gone to far, he was going to lose everything all because he lost control. He would spiral down, and without any of his friends there to help him he would give in eventually.

As he returned to their dorm he kept his eyes on the ground, his hair falling to hide his face. He just needed to get clothes and leave, he didn’t have to stay long or face them yet. Until he realized Remus was there, which he wasn’t expecting as it was halfway into their first class and the day after a full moon.

When he had woken up, the pain radiating through his body had been horrifying, it still was screaming inside his head, tearing at his ability to move and think. Things hadn’t been this bad since his friends had been there, helping him, distracting the beast.

Initially James didn’t want to tell him, he had just sat there, looking angry and sad, not responding when Remus asked if there was something wrong. It had been Peter who finally filled him in. Even though the words arrived in Remus’ mind, he didnt want to believe them, didnt want to think about the consequences. Staying in bed had become impossible, despite Madam Pomfrey's determination. There was no way he’d spend what could well be his last day at Hogwarts in the Hospital Wing, not to mention that their first class that day was Charms with Slytherin. There was no way he could possibly go in there. Or anywhere near Severus for that matter.

The door opened after about half an hour later, when Sirius entered their dorm room, making Remus tense up, causing him to flinch as his muscles screamed in pain. Things between Severus and Sirius had never been well, everybody knew that, but with their friendship growing stronger, and his friends risiking everything to become Animagi. Selfishly Remus had thought that he was more important to Sirius than his feude with the Slytherin. As it turned out he wasnt. If Severus went to the Ministry, or one of his more extreme friends, this could easily lead to Remus getting expelled, maybe even imprisoned or sent off to Azkaban. “How could you do this to me Padfoot?”

The question was out of his mouth before his brain could even start to point out, why he shouldn’t ask it, his voice barely audible, as the wolf had proably been howling all night.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I just meant style wise he looks rather different compared to you.” 

There sure was a point to this, and an important one too. Growing up Remus had been in Snapes position often enough, and on more than one occasion swore to himself that he’d never be on the other end. It had turned out that befriending Snape was nearly impossible and so he had vowed to at least always try to be neutral towards him. “I’ll be fine. Always have been. But it’s kind of you to offer, thanks.” Sometimes it was easy to see that Regulus and Sirius were brothers, Remus thought, a smile lingering on his lips.

“That doesn’t mean he looks bad in them, I did make sure they were black and tailored to fit him.  He would look fine in them, he isn’t as bad looking as you and your friends seem to think. He just isn’t healthy.” That much as true, Severus was definitely not healthy. No healthy teenager should be that skinny if they never got exercise, Regulus played quidditch and that kept any fat from forming on him but to be both Severus’ height and weight meant you were grossly underweight.

“It is only polite.” Regulus wasn’t the kind of person to not help out someone in need, he was against mudbloods and muggles but that didn’t make him cruel.

“I’ll take your word for it. But if he isnt healthy, maybe he should go see Madam Pomfrey.” Over the years Remus had gotten very attached to the matron, as she did her best to keep him alive, even more so when he was younger. Whenever he woke up, puking, every bone in his body aching as their cracks healed, she was there for him, telling him he’d be all right. 

“It’s still kind of you to offer, after all you don’t have to be polite when nobody around.” 

this comes from my very staunch headcanon that remus broke sirius out of grimmauld place at least once