{ Closed RP -- R2D2/C3PO }
“We will,” he hoped. We have to… The rest of time was before him. What on earth could he hope to do with all of it? Anakin had been a brother, somehow deeper than blood, deeper than any bond imaginable…and he had become something capable of carrying out the demolition of so many. Kenobi had grown up in The Temple, chosen for training when he was only two. Every face that had been murdered that day was one he most intimately viewed as family. Their beautiful hearts, wise and caring minds, Force-guided spirits; these were what made life wonderful, bearable in some instances. Name after name crossed his mind with either the certainty that he would never see them again or the threat of that very real possibility.
Bant, Garren, Master Windu, Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, Quinlan Vos, Ayla Secura, Plo-Koon, Cin Drallig, Master Luminara, Kit Fisto, Shaak Ti……
Obi-Wan sounded confident to C-3PO and yet it didn’t seem right. The droid was focused at the task at hand but the memories were coming up in its data banks. Each sound and word was getting analyzed in its mind. At times the droid would look back even thought the ship was solid and it could see nothing. “How can you be sure?” C-3PO didn’t want to voice the question but the filter it would have didn’t work as well today. Although it was acting more reserved. “I don’t suppose you would want to hear the odds…. no. I’ll…. I’ll be quiet know Master Kenobi.”
Obi-Wan was very relieved when the droid offered up a second sentence; he found he had no answer to the initial question.
‘ How
can
you
be sure………?’
The distraction, even a painful one, was deeply welcome. Plus, in an odd way, he felt he owed himself the agony of all this; he owed it to himself as well as those merged with The Force to walk through every unbearable, murderous, heart stopping detail. To mourn is to choose to continue a love that can no longer be felt in return. Though in his head he was literally screaming, though all he could do was imagine ripping his chest and heart to pieces; clawing, biting, whatever it took to annihilate the muscle responsible for the containment of the weight of all his misery; though there were moments where his panic brought his internal functions to a full stop and he felt he could no longer live, he would allow it in full. Obi-Wan Kenobi would die the death of each Jedi loss and hold out hope for the morning that he would wake and feel only acceptance. But for now, distraction….
“Actually, yes.” The voice that answered was not his but a lifeless machine. He stared forward, not daring even a peripheral glance at either droid lest they assault him with memories. Little images were the fraying threads keeping him from shattering for the moment: a gleam on the surface of the viewport to his right, the blurry image of his hand guiding the ship below, colors that a right mind would register as sky and space….. “Tell me the odds.”