Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way Potter, you were named after the most goth vampire witch at hogwarts instead of some fucking prep  

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congrats to everyone on their period during the blood moon, enjoy your slayer powers

Poor people go missing, rich people get kidnapped.

when ur crush asks u who ur crush is 

When they say “not all white people”

The Greatest

only REAL tumblr users remember...

this was truly hell

someone: what are you doing

me:

When I was ten years old, a dog bit the back of my head. The doctor said, within earshot but out of sight – he didn’t think I could hear him – that had the dog’s teeth been a little longer, they could have gone in under my skull. Hit my brain stem. Killed me, crippled me.

I don’t know whether or not he was right. All I know is that for a decade and a half after that, I harbored a complete and unreasoning terror of dogs. It didn’t matter how big they were, or how tame, or how kind. Someone else could assure me that they were the best dog in the world, that they knew the dog, that he would never hurt anyone, and it didn’t matter, because I was convinced that any dog could suddenly turn on me, bite me hard enough to kill me.

There were two dogs I slowly learned to trust during that time period. And, eventually, I learned to understand dogs again, to understand their body language, to like them again, because my husband convinced me to get a puppy, to raise a dog from when it was small, that this would help me get over my fear.

No one ever told me I was crazy or irrational for not wanting to be around dogs after I’d been attacked and nearly killed by one.  No one. For fifteen years, it was understandable that I would be afraid – terribly, unreasoningly afraid – of dogs. A dog attacked me. I bore the traumatic scars. I found dogs terrifying, unpredictable. I could not trust any of them – no matter how kind they’d been to my friends, no matter how well-recommended they came or how well they’d been raised – not to turn on me and injure me.

When I was fifteen, I was raped.

Do I even need to finish this?

THIS IS WHAT I SAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND NO ONE UNDEFSTANDS.

laser-free diet.

y'all need to hear about gerb.

gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.

when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.

the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.

and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.

one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.

now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”

“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift” and gerb says “i recall” “that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen” and gerb says “yea ok” “jeremy what happened?”

and gerb says

“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”

PSA

Your server is a human!

Your server is a human!

Your server is a human!

Your server is a fucking human!

I thought this was about like a computer server and I was understandably frightened for a moment

THERE MUST BE A PARAGRAPH BREAK EVERY TIME A NEW CHARACTER SPEAKS

THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL

NO ONE WANTS TO READ ONE BIG BLOCK OF TEXT JESUS CHRIST

REMEMBER TIP TOP OK:

Make a paragraph every time that any of these things change!

Ti me

P lace

To pic

P erson

reblog if u give a fuck about an oxford comma

This is huge, Ladies and Gents

In Saudi Arabia women are registering to vote right now!

A big cheer for our sisters in Saudi Arabia and may this be just the next step on their path to equality.