A blob in search of something

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

Won’t name names but I read kind of a disappointing political fantasy book and it has me pining for the BEST political fantasy books, Megan Whalen Turner’s Queen’s Thief series, naturally

My cat is so near sighed that he went to smack a bug and hit the air, proceeded to look at paw for almost a minute trying to figure out what happened

Him. If you care.

What abou t me. Doesnt anyone think i should be at the club

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

im going to skim a handful of the most popular saw fanfiction and then tell you what i think the plot of the saw film franchise is, ok?

i have reason to believe there were two men in a bathroom

we all have that ONE friend who HATES being hit over the head with a metal pipe😂 and cries PLEASE DONT HIT ME WITH A METAL PIPE MY SKULL IS FRACTURED during METAL PIPE NITE😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀😂🤣

not the bell tolling LMAOOOO 🙈 i wonder for whom 🤔

In the name of the faggot, the dyke, and the holy tranny, I bless you. Go forth my child, and have as much gay sex as possible

If i was toby fox i would tweet sans is a woman and then smash my phone with a hammer

Almost blocked someone for being a bot because their URL ended in a string of numbers but then I realized the numbers were 42069 and I wanted to apologize like when a nobleman fails to recognize his king disguised in the garb of a commoner

Ask me to walk on fucking water Malborn

saw another trans person in public +60HP +500EXP

rasputin didnt become a fucked up sex wizard until he was like 30. your life doesn't end at 25 <3

if you're in your mid twenties and you're reading this you still have plenty of time to inadvertently topple a dynasty just by being really fucking weird and horny. don't worry.