Frankly, My Dear

Five dollar things that i did not expect to find in the local flea market.

I'm sure all of you can guess how scary it is to be this vulnerable on the internet. I'm still opening up about my life with kidney disease because I need help.

I've just always had limited options (medically and financially) and am gonna go out on a limb and hope it lands me in a longer life.

A couple of years ago, I came to my friends on tumblr to ask for help getting out of an abusive household once I realized the lack of self-care that I was constantly forced into resulted in kidney failure (following my heart failure about a decade ago)

I'm here, again (some more... continued? I dunno) to ask that if you've ever considered organ donation, reach out to me.

There are over 100,000 people on the waiting list for deceased donor kidneys, just like me. Time is limited. The average wait time can be over five years and many people I know personally have passed during their wait. To say the least, I'm scared.

An option I do have is to find a living donor.

I'm asking friends and strangers to help improve my quality of life by being a living kidney donor. I only need one, after all! :)

Don't worry if you don't know a lot about living donation - I didn't before learning from my nephrology team. Here's some basic information:

-You only part with one kidney

- The surgery is done laparoscopically, meaning through tiny incisions

- The recuperation period is quick. Generally two weeks.

- The cost of your evaluation and surgery will be covered by my insurance. The hospital can give you extensive information on this.

- You will have a separate team of healthcare professionals to evaluate as a living donor. Their job is to help you understand the risks and look out for YOUR best interests.

You can also learn more by searching for the National Kidney Foundation (NKF)

Thank you for taking time to read my story. If donating a kidney to me is something you would like to consider, I would be happy to tell you more about my story and explore the process of determining if you're a match for me. DM!

Also, I know living donation is not for everyone. You can still help if this has moved you to. Consider donating to help covering my medical expenses, debt from my heart surgery in 2007, and the odd cup of boba tea so my kidney diet doesn't bore me to death before the actual kidneys go caput. (Sorry I'm a bit morbid. TY for your time <3)

Librairie des Arts Décoratifs - c.1900 - via Staats- und Universitätsbibliothek Dresden (SLUB)

“ENOUGH IS ENOUGH…FIGHT BACK – LISTEN UP BIGOTS: AN ATTACK ON ONE OF US IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US – MILITANT HOMOSEXUAL – A WARNING FROM THE QUEER NATION,” Queer Nation poster, Toronto, Ontario, February 1991. Poster c/o Canadian Gay & Lesbian Archives, @clgarchives. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist

“RACISM <—> SEXISM <—> HOMOPHOBIA: RECOGNIZE THE CONNECTIONS” pinback, manufactured by Donnelly/Colt, Hampton, Connecticut, c. 1990. c/o @lgbt_history. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist #Night

“AS PROUD OF OUR GAYNESS AS WE ARE OF OUR BLACKNESS: 3rd WORLD LESBIAN/GAY CONFERENCE, October 12-15th, WASHINGTON, D.C.” pinback, c. 1985. c/o @lgbt_history. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Night

“I ❤ MY GAY SON THE LEATHERMAN,” Gay Pride Day, San Jose, California, June 9, 1996. Photo © Ted Sahl. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #FridayNight (at San Jose, California)

“HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY from QUEER NATION!,” Queer Nation/Seattle members outside Ingraham High School, Seattle, Washington, February 14, 1991. Photo by M. McCauslin. . On February 14, 1991, twenty-six years ago today, Jonathan Darci and approximately twelve other members of Queer Nation/Seattle staged a Valentine’s Day action outside a local high school. As the Seattle Times explained, the group “targeted Valentine’s Day, which they consider an oppressive occasion, to draw attention to the alienation and loneliness many homosexuals feel as most people around them celebrate heterosexual love and romance.” . As they “[g]athered outside the school’s main entrance as school let out for the day,” the Times continued, “Darci and other members from Queer Nation gave students fliers urging heterosexuals to ‘tell all your friends that it’s OK with you if any of them are lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Let it be known that you’re not homophobic and that you accept people as they are.’” . Queer Nation also wanted to lend support to students who may have had questions about their sexuality. . “If you’re not sure what your feelings mean or you’re hiding your sexuality and pretending to be straight, as most gay and lesbian youth do, you feel even more isolated than other days,” Darci said. “It’s like icing on the cake of your oppression.” #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #QueerNation #Resist (at Seattle, Washington)

“WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER, WE HATE THE FUCKING PRESIDENT!,” AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power (ACT UP), New York City, 1990. Photo by Dona Ann McAdams (@leicalola),c/o Bronx Documentary Center. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist #PresidentsDay (at Waldorf Astoria New York)

“BLACK LESBIAN FEMINIST,” Gwenn Craig (@gwenndolina), Lesbian & Gay Caucus member, 1980 Democratic National Convention, New York City, August 1980. Photo by Allen G. Shores, c/o @onearchives. . Gwenn Craig is a San Francisco-based activist who has been instrumental in the fights for Black, queer, and women’s liberation for decades. . Among many other things, Gwenn was part of the core group of activists—along with Harvey Milk, Sally Miller Gearhart, Bill Kraus, Tom Ammiano, and Hank Wilson—that led the fight against the 1978 Briggs Initiative in California, which effectively would have banned gays and lesbians—and perhaps anyone who supported gay rights—from working in public schools. . Gwenn also was one of the revolutionary group of openly gay or lesbian delegates to the 1980 Democratic National Convention, most of whom participated as part of the late, great Jeanne Cordova’s DESTINATION: NEW YORK program. . Gwenn Craig is among the trailblazing queer activists featured in Dustin Lance Black’s (@dlanceblack) “When We Rise” (@whenweriseabc), which starts tomorrow, February 27, at 9 P.M., on ABC. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #GwennCraig #WhenWeRise #Resist (at Madison Square Garden)

“TRANS & QUEER LATINXS AGAINST ISLAMOPHOBIA, WAR & SURVEILLANCE,” Pulse Vigil, Stonewall, New York City, June 13, 2016. Photo c/o Hollow Sidewalks. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #NoBanNoWall #SignOfResistance #Resist (at The Stonewall Inn)

“ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL? . NO, ARE YOU?” . Trans March, San Francisco, California, June 2006. Photo by Jennifer Svensson, c/o Trans March. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist #Mood #RepealHB2 #BoycottNC (at San Francisco, California)

“ANITA DEAR SHOVE IT,” Christopher Street Liberation Day, New York City, June 26, 1977. Photo © Hank O’Neal. . On April 4, 1978, thirty-nine years ago today, Playboy Magazine released teasers of Ken Kelley’s interview with archconservative Anita Bryant, the head of the Save Our Children campaign (which sought to repeal pro-, or pass anti-, LGBTQ ordinances across the United States in 1977 and 1978). . In a sneak peak of the interview, which was released in full in the magazine’s May 1978 edition, the former singer and beauty queen said that prison terms of up to twenty years for homosexuals “might make them think twice, especially the younger ones…Why make it easier for them? I think it only helps to condone it and make it easier for kids who wouldn’t be so concerned if it was a misdemeanor.” . Although not part of the April preview, the Playboy article included Bryant’s legendary take on the origin of the word “fruit” as a gay slur: “…they eat the forbidden fruit of the tree of life…, which is male sperm.” Notably, according to biblical literature, the tree of life is separate and distinct from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, only the latter of which was off-limits to humankind; such details apparently were lost on Bryant. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist (at New York, New York)

“‘YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE NO LESS THAN THE TREES AND THE STARS YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE…,’” Mid-west Homophile Convention flyer, Milwaukee Gay Peoples Union, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, April 8, 1972. Flyer c/o Milwaukee LGBT History; words from Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata” (1927). . On April 8, 1972, forty-five years ago today, “[a]fter more than two months of hard work and detailed planning,” Milwaukee’s Gay Peoples Union (GPU) “successfully launched what is probably its most ambitious project to-date: the Mid-West Homophile Conference.” As the GPU News described in its May/June edition, the conference “was the first such conference in Milwaukee’s history…[, and] it was also the first visit for Barbara Gittings and Frank Kameny,” two leaders of the national gay liberation movement. . Gittings, according to GPU News, “gave a summation of what life could be, but isn’t, for the millions of gay women in America…[and] urged the delegates to ‘make society accept us on our terms, not theirs.’…Her [ ] enthusiasm was evidently contagious throughout the entire conference, as witnessed by the degree of fellowship which prevailed. ‘Our problem,’ she concluded, ‘is society’s problem and instead of us changing for society, society should change to accommodate us.’ . “Taking a slightly more militant stance, Dr. Frank Kameny gave a summary of the struggles he has been involved in on behalf of gay liberation and how he has watched the movement fight its way to where it is today. ‘We have to stand up for our rights and push hard. This is our country, our government, our future, and we will not sit back and take whatever is dealt out to us,’ Kameny told a cheering audience…In closing, Kameny commanded the different represented groups to not be afraid to fight their oppression. ‘…you must zap it to anyone who deprives you of your rights,’ adding, ‘…there is no homosexual problem, just a heterosexual one.’” . Follow @makinggayhistorypodcast and visit their website to hear incredible archival interviews with queer pioneers, including Barbara Gittings and Frank Kameny. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

“[S]ince I was diagnosed, my family thinks two things about my situation. One, they think I’m going to die, and two, they think that my government is doing absolutely everything in their power to stop that. And they’re wrong, on both counts. . “[I]f I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from homophobia…,from racism…,from indifference and red tape, because these are the things that are preventing an end to this crisis…If I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from the President of the United States. And, especially, if I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from the sensationalism of newspapers and magazines and television shows, which are interested in me… as long as I’m willing to be a helpless victim, but not if I’m fighting for my life. . “If I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from the fact that not enough rich, white, heterosexual men have gotten AIDS for anybody to give a shit…Living with AIDS is like living through a war which is happening only for those people who happen to be in the trenches. Every time a shell explodes, you look around and you discover that you’ve lost more of your friends, but nobody else notices… . “Someday, the AIDS crisis will be over. Remember that. And when that day comes…there’ll be people alive on this earth—gay people and straight people, men and women, black and white—who will hear the story that once there was a terrible disease in this country and all over the world, and that a brave group of people stood up and fought and, in some cases, gave their lives, so that other people might live and be free. . “So, I’m proud to be with my friends today and the people I love, because I think you’re all heroes, and I’m glad to be part of this fight. . “We’re so busy putting out fires right now, that we don’t have the time to…plan for the next wave…we have to commit ourselves to doing that. . “And then, after we kick the shit out of this disease, we’re all going to be alive to kick the shit out of this system, so that this never happens again.” – Vito Russo, “Why We Fight,” ACT UP demonstration, Albany, New York, May 9, 1988 . Picture: Vito Russo (July 11, 1946 – November 7, 1990), Washington, D.C., October 10, 1988. Photo © Rick Gerharter.

“STOP CRUCIFYING QUEERS – OUTRAGE!,” OutRage protest, London, United Kingdom, c. 1996. Photo by Steve Mayes, c/o OutRage. . On May 17, 1990, twenty-seven years ago today, the World Health Organization announced its decision to remove homosexuality from the international listing of mental health disorders. In 2004, queer rights organizations from around the world—and specifically those focused on developing countries—sought international recognition of May 17 as a day to draw awareness to the ongoing impact of anti-queer violence, discrimination, and repression. . On May 17, 2005, twelve years ago today, organizations around the world marked the first International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO). . In 2009, in order to recognize the ongoing violence and discrimination faced by trans and gender nonconforming people worldwide, “Transphobia” was added to the name of the commemoration. And, increasingly, “Biphobia” is recognized as a threat of equal measure, as is violence against any member of the community. . In recognition of International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia, we offer the following reminder: to be queer is to be criminal in 72 countries; 13 countries provide the death penalty for same-sex sexual activity (though only 8 countries have implemented the penalty in recent years); in 14 countries, LGBTQIAs face life in prison if discovered; in 52 countries, the penalty can run up to 14 years in prison. . While 85 countries offer some protections, only 9 states offer constitutional guarantees to protect the queer community; in the vast majority of countries, our community is forced to seek protection from a patchwork system of statutes, case law, and custom. As too many know too well, these so-called protections can be fleeting. . In recent weeks, the threat of anti-queer discrimination has been made painfully clear through the reports of mass incarcerations, torture, and killing of queer men in Chechnya. . As Pride season approaches, we urge those fortunate enough to be protected by family, friends, custom, and law to remember: None of us is free until all of us are free. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #Resist #IDAHOT

“I can honestly say that I did not expect to see such a public demonstration on behalf of homosexuals in my lifetime.” – Harry Hay, May 1966 . Picture: “STOP WASTING TAXPAYERS’ $$$ ON WITCH HUNTS FOR HOMOSEXUALS,” Armed Forces Day protest, San Francisco, California, May 21, 1966. Photo c/o GLBT Historical Society. . In February 1966, representatives of homophile (i.e., gay rights) organizations from across the U.S. gathered in Kansas City for an annual planning conference out of which emerged the idea for the first nationwide gay rights demonstration. Specifically, activists from San Francisco, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Kansas City, and Washington, D.C. formed the Committee to Fight Exclusion of Homosexuals from the Military and set Armed Forces Day (the third Saturday in May) as the target for a nationally-coordinated demonstration to “protest the moral dilemma with which homosexual men are confronted because of the draft and the risk of getting a less-than-fully-honorable discharge if discovered in the armed forces.” . On May 21, 1966, fifty one years ago today, activists in Kansas City held a small informational gathering; the Mattachine Society of D.C. picketed the White House and marched to the Pentagon; the Janus Society of Philadelphia handed out 10,000 leaflets at the Navy Yards; in Los Angeles, old-guard radicals like Harry Hay and Don Slater led a thirteen-car motorcade through the city, with each car carrying a four-sided, four-foot tall sign with messages like “10% OF GIs ARE GAY”; and about fifty people picketed San Francisco’s Federal Building before representatives of various civil rights organizations addressed a supportive crowd of about 500 people. . The success of the Armed Forces Day protest, as Josh Sides explains, “lay not in [the] measurable effect on Selective Service policy…but in significantly raising the profile of gay people in the nation…Nationally, the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Newsweek, as well as dozens of smaller media outlets covered some phase of the protest. What readers and television viewers learned was that homosexuals existed and believed themselves worthy of first-class citizenship.” #HavePrideInHistory (at San Francisco, California)