@gaydognerd / gaydognerd.tumblr.com
I'd say this is an anomaly but seriously roos are sometimes nosy and just need to be in your business, OR they will fight you if you look at them funny. I love them, they're great, but they make little sense.
The fucking horror I felt in my soul of the 3 seconds it took to try to and work out what the fuck this animal was
we're so lucky to get to eat so many staple grains tbh. like in early history you'd have to just eat what grew around you on a day to day basis like if you were born in asia hope you like rice if you were born in northern europe hope you like einkorn wheat. but i'm gonna eat rice AND wheat AND oats today. fabuloso
The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters
mimc Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Mimic Mouth. Put Baby In Mimic Mouth. no problems ever in mimmic mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Amimic Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in mimic mouth can trust mimic for giveing good love to baby. friend mimic
I'm built different. like incorrectly i think
The thing is, those Manic Pixie Dream Girl movies aren't unrealistic because that kind of thing never happens in real life. They're unrealistic because they never show the epilogue five years later, where the Sadboy Protagonist is posting on reddit going "help, my girlfriend has cool unique hobbies and it's embarrassing me."
I don't know how this comes as a shock to some people, but if you're dating a girl with a bug collection, you're going to be dating a girl who proudly shows dead bugs to your mom.
Hey now. Sometimes you come back five years later and now they're both cool girls
The only reason why transphobes always ask “what is a woman” instead of “what is a man” is because we all know that a man is a featherless biped.
It’s 2023, women can have as many legs and feathers as they want- get with the times.
BEHOLD! TUMBLR'S WOMAN!
…
…
Yeah, that tracks.
how is it 2024 next week. that's not even a real year that's a caption on an establishing shot in a sci-fi story.
I think it’s funny. And the people have spoken.
My toxic trait is subscribing to new podcasts "as a reminder to try them out" and then never listening to them.
[id: screenshots of a Twitter thread by JewWhoHasItAll. Transcript (with “1/16″, “2/16″, etc. removed):
Dear Teachers,
As some of you may know, if you have any students who identify as Christian in your class, they may be absent while observing the Christian holiday of Christmas.
Officially, the holiday commemorates the birth of their prophet. In modern times, the holiday incorporates many pagan winter solstice rituals as well.
Some children may believe that a man named Santa Claws (aka St. Nicholas Ha’Kadosh) will visit their house on a sled pulled by flying deer while they are asleep.
As terrifying as this belief sounds, apparently the children really look forward to his home invasion because they wake up to presents that Santa left for them in the middle of the night.
Please refrain from telling these students that their parents make the whole thing up— they will get angry with you for spoiling the "magic" of Christmas.
(This is similar to magical Christian beliefs during a spring festival when a magic bunny visits children in the middle of the night to lay colorful chicken eggs in hidden nests throughout their houses or yards.)
Note: St. Nicholas Ha’Kadosh is obviously a religious figure and must not be incorporated into any #PublicSchool classroom celebrations.
Some students might wear garish sweaters. Please DO comment on the ugliness of the sweater. They believe the uglier the sweater is, the better. Most of them will probably be yellow and white— the colors of Christianity—
... but others might have pictures of Santa Claws surrounded by deer or maybe polar bears because they believe he lives in the Arctic Circle.
Some students might ask to hear Jingle Bells. This is the anthem of Christmas. It is acceptable to play the song once during snack time if requested by a student.
Please do not assume your Christian student will feel comfortable asking questions about Christmas. They might feel uncomfortable being treated as a spokesperson to explain...
... how the prophet's mother became pregnant or how Santa Claws has time to visit all twelve Christian families in our school district in one night.
The traditional greeting is "Merry Christmas" or sometimes "Seasons Greetings." If you forget, a simple "Chag Sameach" is never wrong.
Eight days after Christmas they celebrate the day of their prophet’s bris as their Rosh Hashanah.
Their calendar counts the years since the bris. It was a bit over 2000 years ago.
Check http://GregCal.com if you need to know the exact number. It is also a good resource for other Christian holiday dates since they move around so much from year to year, and it doesn't even coincide with a new moon.
Thank you for your hard work!
/end id]
[Additional information: These tweets were tweeted Dec 12, 2021.]
the great british bake off always comes through with the relatable content
baby girl i have pain in joints unknown even to science
Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post
And the update
She buttered Jorts
The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:
FINALLY
I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:
get vaccinated so we never have to see CNN talk about an omega variant
2023 prediction: the WHO gets sued by Addison Cain
(exploring a god damn river basin) there better not be any god damn rivers in here
