Thoughts about the ACOTAR bonus chapters (there are 3???)

So for any one who has read the ACOTAR series and doesn’t know yet (and I don’t blame you), the US Barnes & Nobles version of A Court of Wings and Ruin and A Court of Silver flames (and also the Books a Million version?) both have bonus chapters that NO OTHER VERSION OF THE BOOKS HAVE. For capitalism reasons of course. (spoilers for the people who haven’t read them. They’re linked below.)

Now, the ACOWAR bonus chapter, for those who haven’t read it, is merely a short chapter kind of confirming what we already knew from the rest of the book. It shows the tension between Nesta and Cassian and was basically just extra fanservice for Nessian shippers before ACOSF was even announced. The entire rest of the book shows the tension between them as well, and we even get that scene at the end of the book during the war.

So ACOSF apparently has three versions, of which two with separate bonus chapters only available in the US (of course). There is a Feysand chapter in the B&Nv where they kind of talk about the baby and Feyre’s sisters where no one really misses out on (compared to the other one! but that’s my opinion). But the Azriel ACOSF chapter in the BAMv however, and again spoiler warning I GUESS, sets up at least four separate, completely new things that the rest of the books doesn’t even mention! (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOOK!) We get a scene between Azriel and Elain, which sets up a whole new conflict between them (only mentioned in that chapter oc), especially with the whole necklace situation, we then get a fight between Azriel and Rhysand which sets up a whole new conflict between those two and in the fight they mention some autumn court thingy about Lucien/Elain/Azriel that is probably one of the most obvious foreshadowing ever done and then after all of that we even get an entire scene between Azriel and Gwyneth, which basically sets up an entire ship and has a whole Elriel and Gwynriel shipwar going where half of the fandom doesn’t even understand what’s going on anymore because THEY HAVEN’T READ A BONUS CHAPTER.

I understand that Barnes & Nobles and Books a Million wanted to pull some capitalism bullshit on a popular series. If their version of the books have the bonus chapters then everyone will only buy their version of the books, right? Except no, because they do not ship worldwide and at least a third of the entire fandom has read the books in different languages and guess what, the translated versions do not have the dumb bonus chapters!!! Also, not everyone can afford to buy 2 to 3 copies of one book! Especially not just for an extra chapter!

No one really missed out on the ACOWAR chapter because the entire thing was established through the rest of the book and it was basicaly just extra fanservice for the lucky americans. Good for them, I don’t really care as much. The extra ACOSF Feysand chapter was also just more fanservice. However, EVERYONE who hasn’t read the dumb Azriel ACOSF chapter misses out on the SET UP OF 4 ENTIRE NEW CONFLICTS AND PLOTS. I have absolutely no fucking idea how the fuck Sara J. Maas is going to fix that. How can she set something up that she has already set up in the middle of a book we’ve already read? Is there going to be an entire flashback scene where Azriel remembers everything from a night that already happened?? I don’t see it working. At all.

So yeah, extremely sorry for the long post, but I’m just very mad about this.

GO READ THE BONUS CHAPTERS IF YOU WANT TO CONINUE READING THE SERIES!!! especially the Azriel one!!! Here are the ones I found:

ACOWAR Bonus Chapter Nessian

ACOSF Bonus Chapter Feysand

ACOSF Bonus Chapter Azriel

“The very definition of big puppy eyes”

(Source)

101 Dalmatians: The Reckoning (2022)

sam: so that's my plan.

bucky: are you alright with constructive criticism? i don't want to sound mean.

sam: go ahead, i want to hear it.

bucky: it fucking sucks.

sam: ... that's not constructive criticism.

When a character doesn’t realize they’ve been, like, shot or whatever and they hand brushes against their side and comes away wet with blood, and they’re just staring at it like wtf is this and then their knees just totally give out on them and they sink down, maybe gasping a little as the reality finally hits them. That’s good stuff.

I see that, and raise you a character who knows they’ve been shot, but waits until the rest of their crew is out of sight to put their hand against the slowly spreading stain of blood on their shirt, then trying to steady their breathing so they can follow without letting on how injured they are.

Okay but like the character who doesn’t realize they’ve been hurt trying to see if everyone else is okay only to slowly realize that everyone is looking at them with mounting horror. Then they touch their side to find it’s wet and oh no

Despite every moment of life being indescribably precious and a wondrous mystery, I will spend it caring about dividends and how many rental properties I have.

Rich people are truly dead inside. 

I can't imagine caring this much about numbers that absolutely will never impact my life. This person is making more in passive income than I've ever made in my life and he's just like "but but I need more :(".

I mean, fuck that guy, but psychologically it's interesting.

Some desperate remnant of his soul knows what he needs. As soon as his debt is cleared, he goes on to live what many would call an utterly charmed life: working no more than 20 hours a week, travelling and spending time with friends (which he, at $150,000 a year and no mortgage, has ample money to do). He has a loving relationship also.

But his brain is so rotten that he cannot understand happiness anymore. He is incapable of conceptualising it other than in money.

A man who has everything except the ability to feel it.

How poetic.

But fuck that guy.

I want to hit this man.

I want to rob this man.

Meow appears beside Rogue, holding a sign: "Heist? Heist."

This man is so so so close to realizing a fundamental truth to how humans operate, but I genuinely don’t think he’s going to get there. Although I’m not sure he realizes it this man views the money he earns as a direct translation of his sense of personal achievement and engagement. 

Which means that when he says he regrets the months he didn’t pick up more hours to earn more money, what he’s describing here is boredom. He’s doing it in the crassest, shallowest, most income-obsessed and unattainable for most of us way possible, yes. But this man is expressing that once he achieved a certain financial goal he relaxed, enjoyed himself, got bored, realized on some level he was understimulated, and then started working more hours to meet whatever stimulated activity threshold he personally needs. 

This is infuriating because this man experienced the counter-argument to that nonsensical talking point that if we meet people’s financial needs with a universal basic income they’ll grow lazy and won't do anything. 

Anyone trying to develop $200,000 in passive annual income is not working three minimum-wage jobs to live paycheck-to-paycheck. This man’s basic financial needs were met. Working more hours to make more money is just his own personal code for ‘I still needed to use my mind to do things’ (using what might be the only metric of personal achievement he might actually have). This man lived the argument for universal basic income and I genuinely don’t think he realizes that. Once his basic income needs were met he still needed to do things to keep himself stimulated and engaged with his own life.

You see a version of this play out with retirees who leave their jobs, go home, and very quickly find themselves in need of new activities or friends or engagements to keep them present and stimulated in their lives. Ensuring someone’s basic financial needs are met doesn’t make them stop doing things, humans don’t work that way.

Reblogging for the psychology lessons

my best OC is Brad Wayne, Bruce’s illegitimate biological child via a totally normal woman he had a fling with when he was younger and didn’t stay in touch with

Brad grew up a totally normal kid, went to college, joined a frat, and decided to get in touch with Bruce, who now has an awkward situation on his hands

now the other Batkids have to deal with fucking Brad Wayne, whose normalacy is absolutely insufferable... he tells Dick to try yoga and suggests that Tim will sleep better if he gets more exercise... Bruce goes out of town and Brad decides it’s time to throw a house party with his frat friends

he’s so good

All of Brad’s Bat-siblings are absolutely unprepared to deal with him. They can’t handle it. They can’t even hate him properly, even Damien, because he’s just... he’s not even... he’s just Some Guy™️!

They’re all braced for the inevitable reveal that he’s a villain, an imposter, or an interloper there to usurp the Wayne fortune or spy on Batman. They have all sorts of plans to foil his schemes and the only thing they’re not able to prepare for is the fact that he’s just. Brad. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not a saint, either—his problems are just so mundane, so ordinary.

They TRY to understand what his life is like, but how are they supposed to relate to someone who doesn’t text back because he’s hungover or his phone died, not because he’s tied up in a death trap somewhere being menaced by someone in a Halloween costume?

No one’s ever tried to ritually sacrifice him before and it shows.

Does he know they are the batfam? Or does he just think it is so cool that his dad has adopted all these kids that needed a home?

Oh he has no idea. Brad didn’t grow up in Gotham and isn’t really familiar with its culture, so he thinks it’s an ordinary city with ordinary problems (presumably there’s still a concept of ‘ordinary’ in the DCU).

When someone tries to tell him he laughs it off. Maybe one of his friends asks him about the popular rumor that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he’s never even contemplated the possibility. Later he’s trying to coax Dick into playing beer pong and loudly tells the story to party guests as a funny anecdote. He thinks the whole concept of Batman is hilarious. Maybe he makes up stories about seeing Batman to impress his family and make himself sound cool.

Eventually though some bad guy who wants a huge ransom is going to kidnap Brad. What happens then? Does Batman call in a favor to one of the other members of the Justice League or does Damien go out and rescue his brother and tell him he’s the most useless of all his brothers because he’s so ordinary? Because you know if anyone is going to blab it’s going to be Damien.

Brad gets kidnapped and Steph and/or Cass rescue him in costume.

Later, in Wayne Manor, he tells his family all about how the Batgirls were totally flirting with him and how he managed to take out a few of the bad guys all by himself.

Brad Wayne: “Hey, do you guys think Batman fucks? Like, you think he has ever gotten laid?”

Dick, stiffly: “Um. Yes. I think so.”

Brad: “Really? Guy sounds like a turbo-virgin to me. I mean, he fights crime in a fursuit! Come on!”

Tim: “I have it on reasonable authority that Batman fucks. Unfortunately.”

Steph: “Hey, Damian. Penny for your thoughts?”

Frat Kid Brad Wayne

Brad: “Bro do you remember what Robin used to wear, back when we were kids? With like, those little feathery booty shorts?”

Dick: “Scaled. Not feathery. He wore an armored leotard.”

Brad: “Nah, man, they were totally feathery! ‘Cause robins have feathers. I never really understood that—why would Batman’s sidekick be themed after a songbird? Robins aren’t scary. They don’t fight crime, and they don’t come out at night. Why not ‘Batboy’ or ‘Owlkid’ or something?”

Dick: “I’m pretty sure Robin’s schtick was based off Robin Hood the outlaw, not the bird. That’s why he wore green, and had a uniform cleverly blending medieval costumery with, uh, acrobatic attire.”

Brad: “Whatever. I’m just saying, it was weird.”

Dick: “Not really? Look up classic strongman costumes and historical illustrations of Robin Hood. Or Google Jules Leotard.”

Brad: “But the bare legs! The pixie boots! Why would Batman let him wear that? It’s creepy.”

Dick: “It wasn’t! Look. It was a different time. In context, that costume was obviously heroic. Besides, he was a little kid. I’m sure he’d wear something different now.”

Jason: “Yeah, but didn’t he keep wearing the short pants until he was old enough to vote? I’m pretty sure I remember that Robin wearing the pixie boots through college... he must have spent a fortune getting his legs waxed. I think I’d die before I’d do that.”

Dick: “This is Gotham. People do weirder things all the time.”

Brad: “Haven’t there been a lot of Robins? What happens to them? Do they die and Batman just hopes no one will notice when they’re replaced?”

Dick: “I—”

Jason: “I think that’s exactly what happens. He’s probably got a whole cellar full of dead Robins.”

What do you think would happen when he saw Jason's gun collection? Cause Brad would at some point want to see where his adult siblings live and Jason probably just leaves his guns on whatever surface is clean. I wouldn't be surprised if there's one in the fridge from when he went to get a beer last night. And Brad already suspicious just opens up the fridge and there's a loaded gun and maybe a granade just staring at him when he goes to grab Jason a beer.

Honestly? I doubt he’d think much of it. He’d probably assume Jason was some kind of stockpiler with an extreme paranoid political bent, which are all too common, and suggest that he get a gun locker or twenty for safety—imagine if Damian were to come over, and there were unsecured guns, just think! You hear sad stories about little kids finding guns and playing with them all the time.

"Look, bro, I'm all for your second amendment rights. My LB in TKE wound up leading the campus conservative club, and we still hang. But, like, I worry about Damien and Tim, y'know? Shit happens when kids clown around."

Brad is my new favorite batkid everyone else can leave.

Brad, wandering out of the shower: “Wassup, T-man? You lose a fight to poison ivy or something?”

Tim, frozen in surprise: “H-how did... how did you know?”

Brad: “I’d know those blisters anywhere! My roommate freshman year had to go on steroids, he got it so bad. All over his ass. Almost got him kicked off the team ‘cause no one believed him until he dropped trou right on the field. Ever tried Tecnu Gel?”

But does the Tecnu Gel help tim? Does brad have seemingly random health items in his medicine chest bc "you never know what might happen to you?" have his frat bros gotten hurt doing stupid things and did those events lead brad to be like "I got a splint and some Advil in my car hang tight!" @glumshoe

I want to say yes just because the idea of Tecnu being useful against supervillains is very funny to me.

I imagine Brad is very familiar with sports injuries and alcohol poisoning, in ways that actually prove helpful to the Bat clan with surprising regularity. Maybe one of the guys gets the shit beaten out of him and tries to hide it, but Brad notices how stiff he is and is like, “I got you bro! Sit down, I’ll rub your back. No homo. I mean, unless you’re gay, that’s cool too, I mean hell, I’ve fooled around a bit with the team and I think I might be bi, but you’re still my bro even if you’re adopted, so nah. Haha damn dude, your shoulders are gnarly. You gotta stretch that shit!”

Also I just like the idea of him referring to The Joker as “Pennywise” by mistake.

Fratman.

My nephew likes to play McDonald's, which is what you'd expect it to be. He says, "Welcome to McDonald's. How may I help you?" After you order, he says, "Okay, coming right up," and pretends to give you your food. He has another game called "Silly McDonald's," which is the same thing, except no matter what you order, he says, "Here's your cold hamburger."

I know I'm biased, but he's a comedic genius, as far as I'm concerned.

The last time I saw him, he said, "Let's play McDonald's," so I assumed it was regular McDonald's. But then he hit me with a cold hamburger. It was Silly McDonald's the whole time. I got played.

one of my favorite things about katniss especially in the first book is that she is literally ALWAYS scheming. and like it’s a great character trait honestly because she’s super observant and aware of how she is being perceived, but it’s also fucking hilarious because she constantly assumes that everyone around her is the same way. like when peeta is crying after being selected and she’s like “hm. what could this strategy mean? is he possibly trying to look weak to trick me? won’t work on me you chiseled beast” LIKE KATNISS HES JUST SAD

this man won an oscar for screenwriting and it shows

I’ve hear about how having cats makes you immune to hauntings, ghosts, spooky midnight noises etc but. for years I’ve been dealing with a panic response to unexpected nighttime noises, major enough that the adrenaline can keep me from falling back asleep for hours.

A few weeks of living with a cat and my brain’s been reprogrammed. last night at 4am the furry little shitmuppet broke a vase & I only woke up long enough to call her a rat bastard & roll over back to sleep

Oh shit. This totally made me realize that it must have been my cat that killed my fear of the dark. I used to be intensely scared of walking into dark spaces. Hated any area where I had to turn a light off before I could turn another one on.

Enter my mostly black demon who likes to jump out of dark spaces at me.

Now I can just walk through dark rooms with no anxiety. I’m now used to the darkness taking physical form and jumping at me. At this point if a monster did jump out of the darkness I’d instinctively reach for the cat treats to offer it.

holy crap what other fears do cats make you immune to?

I’m no longer scared to dangle my foot over the bed bc of demons with sharp claws & glowing eyes, i’m scared to dangle my foot over the bed bc of one specific small furry demon with sharp claws & glowing eyes

#fuck off beelzebub my cat has dibs

ANASTASIA (1997) + WARDROBE 

As someone who works in retail, let me tell you that it is exactly like this. Its been over a year of this pandemic and people still do shit like this all the time.

I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted to yank people’s mask to cover their damn faces. Especially the nimrods that are walking around with their flipping noses hanging out

This scene caused people to go broke lol

I’m people

Me

I made some fake frozen dinners for lazy people

Sometimes, this is five star depression dining