Our entire team had to go through this at work about a month ago to provide reference samples for some research and we all gagged. Also, not flavoured. 

dear bisexual / pansexual women and political lesbians,

you need to immediately disclose to any woman you plan on dating if you are, in fact, a lesbian, or if you are something else. some lesbians are open to dating bi / pan / PL ladies. some are not. withholding this information is harmful, deceitful behavior that can make lesbians feel unsafe and devalued.

picture it: you’re a lesbian, looking to start a relationship. you meet a woman who claims that she, too, is a lesbian. this signifies that you have, at the very least, a shared sexuality, and you can bond about your experience as a woman who is attracted exclusively to women, which is outside of the patriarchal, heterocentric structure of the vast majority of societies. 

now, imagine that you, a lesbian who is incapable of being attracted to men, get a confession from your girlfriend: she discloses to you that, yeah, actually, she could possibly be with a man and feel emotionally and sexually fulfilled. she, as a bi- or pansexual, is capable of thinking about having sex with a man and not feeling revulsion. your initial feeling of intimacy and security related to the sharing of a sexuality - one of the most basic aspects of your being, which is essential to you - is gone. 

wouldn’t that hurt? wouldn’t that make you feel insecure? wouldn’t you get angry, if you were put into that position?

You know what would hurt me? 

If I was in a relationship with a lesbian and her finding out I am bi was some sort of horrific secret that must be confessed like some shameful pox. 

The fact that bisexual women are seen as being dirty or alien because we have or feel the capacity to be in intimate relationships with men is HARMFUL. It is biphobic and it is disgusting. 

The entire notion that bi women are less valuable and less desirable as partners because we have and/or have the capacity to be intimate with men is so blatantly biphobic and bigoted that I can’t believe I even have to explain it.

How about THIS: Biphobic lesbians who would feel betrayed and insecure because of a bi partners identity have an OBLIGATION to disclose that they are biphobic assholes when they enter into a relationship, in case any bi woman they are interested in was unaware of what an asshole they are. 

picture this: you’re having a perfectly nice date with a perfectly nice girl, the pasta course has just been served, and the subject of exes comes up. suddenly your date is going into anaphylactic shock at the realization she’s been sharing personal space with a part-time sausage-fondler and an ambulance has to be called. everyone is staring at you. this is terrible. the pasta’s getting cold. and it could all have been avoided if she’d only let you know up front that she had such a terrible life-threatening condition.

And the worst part is, you forgot your epipenis, so you have to pray the EMTs get there in time.

I imagine Valentines Day for Harry and Ginny usually consists of Harry singing over and over at the top of his lungs

“EYES AS GREEN AS A FRESH-PICKLED TOAD

HAIR AS DARK AS A BLACKBOARD

I WISH HE WAS MINE

HE’S REALLY DIVIIIIIIINE

THE HERO WHO CONQUERED THE DARK LORD!”

chasing Ginny all over the house while she covers her ears and yells “SHUT UP SHUT UP I WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD OKAY SHUT UP”

goddamn nerd

The one with the crocodile almost caused me to swallow my face. I’m f-ing dying over here.

i keep cursing in ice cream flavors and my mom has told me to stop

update: i still haven’t stopped

how do you curse in ice cream flavors

what the mint chocolate chip did you say to me punk

i’ll kick your rocky road and then punch the ever loving strawberry cheesecake out of you

that was beautiful

My husband doesn’t believe me that shaving your legs is difficult and time consuming. So long story short he is about to shave his legs for the first time.

Update: he is part way through one leg and regretting his decision. I got him to switch from his men’s razor to my woman razor (his is for face shaving) and it’s going slightly better.

He is hating shaving his legs. HATING it.

Update:

My husband from the shower: how many notes does your post have?

Me: roughly one for every YEAR you have been in that shower!

Update:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

He says it was ridiculous and he can’t imagine having to do it again in a few days time, it’s much harder than shaving his face (he had previously claimed they would be abut the same). He says he feels he has learned a lesson!

Edit: He also pulled a muscle while shaving his legs! He said it was like exercise. “Yoga in the shower with razors” indeed!

Update: he has been rubbing his legs together in bed for ten minutes.

the ending though

As a male individual that shaved my legs once in preparation for a “Walk A Mile In Her Shoes” event after reaching a certain level of funds raised, I can confirm everything that geekandmisandry‘s husband went through. 

And god damn, do your legs itch like hell for weeks afterward.

If women everywhere said “fuck the social expectations and societal norms!” and stopped shaving their legs TODAY I would fully support that notion based on the shaving process ALONE. 

Edit (in case anyone thinks I’m making it up): 

This tickles me!

Was bored at uni, then this happened.

(photo via gasstationfitted)

Women In History

I grew up believing that women had contributed nothing to the world until the 1960′s. So once I became a feminist I started collecting information on women in history, and here’s my collection so far, in no particular order. 

Lepa Svetozara Radić (1925–1943) was a partisan executed at the age of 17 for shooting at German soldiers during WW2. As her captors tied the noose around her neck, they offered her a way out of the gallows by revealing her comrades and leaders identities. She responded that she was not a traitor to her people and they would reveal themselves when they avenged her death. She was the youngest winner of the Order of the People’s Hero of Yugoslavia, awarded in 1951

23 year old Phyllis Latour Doyle was British spy who parachuted into occupied Normandy in 1944 on a reconnaissance mission in preparation for D-day. She relayed 135 secret messages before France was finally liberated. 

Catherine Leroy, War Photographer starting with the Vietnam war. She was taken a prisoner of war. When released she continued to be a war photographer until her death in 2006.

Lieutenant Pavlichenko was a Russian sniper in WWII, with a total of 309 kills, including 36 enemy snipers. After being wounded, she toured the US to promote friendship between the two countries, and was called ‘fat’ by one of her interviewers, which she found rather amusing. 

Johanna Hannie “Jannetje” Schaft was born in Haarlem. She studied in Amsterdam had many Jewish friends. During WWII she aided many people who were hiding from the Germans and began working in resistance movements. She helped to assassinate two nazis. She was later captured and executed. Her last words were “I shoot better than you.”. 

Nancy wake was a resistance spy in WWII, and was so hated by the Germans that at one point she was their most wanted person with a price of 5 million francs on her head. During one of her missions, while parachuting into occupied France, her parachute became tangled in a tree. A french agent commented that he wished that all trees would bear such beautiful fruit, to which she replied “Don’t give me any of that French shit!”, and later that evening she killed a German sentry with her bare hands. 

After her husband was killed in WWII, Violette Szabo began working for the resistance. In her work, she helped to sabotage a railroad and passed along secret information. She was captured and executed at a concentration camp at age 23. 

Grace Hopper was a computer scientist who invented the first ever compiler. Her invention makes every single computer program you use possible. 

Mona Louise Parsons was a member of an informal resistance group in the Netherlands during WWII. After her resistance network was infiltrated, she was captured and was the first Canadian woman to be imprisoned by the Nazis. She was originally sentenced to death by firing squad, but the sentence was lowered to hard lard labor in a prison camp. She escaped. 

Simone Segouin was a Parisian rebel who killed an unknown number of Germans and captured 25 with the aid of her submachine gun. She was present at the liberation of Paris and was later awarded the ‘croix de guerre’. 

Mary Edwards Walker is the only woman to have ever won an American Medal of Honor. She earned it for her work as a surgeon during the Civil War. It was revoked in 1917, but she wore it until hear death two years later. It was restored posthumously. 

Italian neuroscientist won a Nobel Prize for her discovery of nerve growth factor. She died aged 103. 

A snapshot of the women of color in the woman’s army corps on Staten Island

This is an ongoing project of mine, and I’ll update this as much as I can (It’s not all WWII stuff, I’ve got separate folders for separate achievements). 

File this under: The History I Wish I’d Been Taught As A Little Girl

Part 2

Annie Jump Cannon was an american astronomer and, in addition to possibly having one of the best names in history, was co-creator of one of the first scientific classification systems of stars, based on temperature. 

Melba Roy Moutan was a Harvard educated mathematician who led a team of mathematicians at NASA, nicknamed ‘Computers’ for their number processing prowess. 

Joyce Jacobson Kaufman was a chemist who developed the concept of conformational topology, and studied at Johns Hopkins University before it officially allowed women entry in 1970. 

Vera Rubin is an astronomer and has co-authored 114 peer reviewed papers. She specializes in the study of dark matter and galaxy rotation rates. 

Mary Sherman Morgan was a rocket scientist who invented hydyne, a liquid fuel that powered the USA’s Jupiter C-rocket. 

Chien-Siung Wu was a physicist who worked on the Manhattan Project, as well as experimental radioactive studies. She was the first woman to become president of the American Physical Society. 

Mildred Catherine Rebstock was the first person to synthesize the antibiotic chloromycetin.

Ruby Hirose was a chemist who conducted vital research about an infant paralysis vaccine. 

Hattie Elizabeth Alexander was a pediatrician and microbiologist who developed a remedy for Haemophilus influenzae, and conducted vital research on antibiotic resistance. 

Marie Tharp was a scientist who mapped the floor of the Atlantic Ocean and provided proof of continental drift. 

Mae Jamison is an astronaut who holds a degree in chemical engineering from Stanford University and was the first black woman in space.

Ada Lovelace was a mathematician and considered to be the world’s first computer programmer. 

Patricia E Bath is ophthalmologist and the inventor of the Laserphaco Probe, which is used to treat cataracts. 

Barbara McClintock won a Nobel prize for her discovery that genes could move in and between chromosomes.

That’s it for now, part three will be on its way. (Josephine Baker was requested in the first installment, just know I did not forget her! She’s in a different folder, titled ‘famous people you didn’t know were complete badasses, and she, along with Hedy Lamar and Audrey Hepburn will be in the next installment :) )

DO IT NOW: Guide to Proper Bra Fit and Measuring because Victoria Secret and La Senza and whatever are full of shit and you are definitely wearing the wrong size ok? ok

Hi guys I’m obsessed with this shit lately because I don’t want anyone to have unhappy, unsupported boobs like I did. Even if you think your boobs and bras are fine, try it. It will make a big difference in comfort, support, and shape, even if you have small boobs or big boobs. A proper fitting bra can fix back, shoulder, and neck pain, along with breast soreness - and it can help you look 10lbs lighter, and your breasts a hell of a lot perkier. This guide also works for proper-sized bikinis and bathing suits (many online stores linked to below sell both- sometimes for as low as 10$!)

Don’t just like this, REBLOG IT. EVERYBODY WITH BOOBS DESERVES A PROPER FIT. Even if you don’t wear bras yourself, spread it around to tumblr or with your friends or family.

Grab a soft tape measurer (use inches) and get nekkid - don’t wear a bra or shirt please, you don’t wear a bra or shirt underneath your bra, do you? This part is fast and easy, and will help you find your ‘Starting Point’ bra size - you may not end up in this exact size, but it will get you in the right ballpark.

How to Measure:

How to Use These Measurements to find your ‘Starting Size’:

Trying it on: What a proper fit is like

Size Tweaks/Troubleshooting (make sure you scoop and swoop first):

 What Not to Do:

 "But where do I get these Bras? I’ve never even seen these sizes!“

Luckily, the internet makes this shit really easy. Buying bras online is nearly always way cheaper, even with shipping, and even if coming from somewhere in Europe! But of course, its best to try on stuff first, to avoid the hassle of return shipping (even though its still not that expensive - just annoying). So what I advise is to find a store near you, try stuff on there, note down the Brand, Model, and Size, and then buy it online for up to a quarter of of the in-store price.

If you can’t find a store near you, online ordering is still extremely cheap, even with return shipping. Instead of getting a whole bunch of bras in only 1 size each, pick out a few models and order a few sizes of each. Ex: one with a bigger or smaller band if your measurements are close to needing a bigger or smaller band size, and then some up or down a couple cup sizes so you can compare the fit. When you have the perfect fit in one bra, it will be easier to go on Bratabase or r/ABraThatFits and have them suggest bras that give similar shape or suggest a different size to you as a model you’re interested in may run large or small.

So, Where to Find:

WARNING: There are many chain stores (Nordstrom, Lane Bryant, Mark and Spencer, Change etc) that do bra fittings and have a good reputation. However, each store is different - some measure correctly, and some use the stupid VS method. Every store has a different team of employees and knowledge. DO NOT GO IN WITHOUT HAVING MEASURED YOURSELF FIRST, JUST IN CASE THEY ARE ONE OF THE BAD STORES. DO NOT TRUST ALL BRA FITTERS, EVEN IF SOMEONE RECOMMENDED THEM TO YOU. If your fitter gives you a measurement different from this one, be mentally prepared to have a difficult time getting them to help you find the right bra.

I had the fitter at Change help me, and when I mentioned that the gore did not tack, she said “Oh, the gore never touches the chest with these bras”. I was like HAHA NOPE BRING ME A LARGER CUP WOMAN. And lo and behold, 2 extra cup sizes later, the gore tacked (and my boobs stopped spilling out). She was very nice otherwise but if I hadn’t known better that could have been bad.

Resources:

buckitty this is the post I was thinking of. It’s amazing.

All of this is good info.

This is the shit I’m talking about birds.

You want your boobs to look great?

Get you a good bra.

Your boobs are probs bigger than you think and you probably have less back fat and pit fat than you think.

All my flap bits and armpit fat was boob that had been squished over because I spent most of my life wearing a c cup and an ungodly loose band when my boobs got bigger. and I’m a 14 G. In shitty stores I’m an 18DD

Thank you thank you thank you! I’ve been trying to tell people this for years; I’m sick of people not believing I wear a D-cup because they always think D-cup = huge boobs. Total rubbish.

Biphobic XOJane Article Takedown

Oh my god though the actual article (here) is so much worse than I could even imagine I’m going to just have to do a full post about its fuckery. Even the tagline is just:

Author: Did u know that I have the ability to perfectly arbitrate what does and does not constitute same gender attraction? : )

Me: *desperately shoving social capital into my purse* I need to leave right now immediately.

But I did not leave immediately because I am just that masochistic.

The author then goes off on a rant about how she totally knows this super fake queer lady u guys. Her “proof” that her friend is faking it? Well u see this horrible faker lady:

(oh and the author also implies that dating trans men would somehow be less het than dating cis men so good job being a misgendering asshat lol)

Then after this scathing teardown she finishes up with:

??? ITS A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT FRIEND

Y’ALL JUST SPENT SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS TEARING DOWN THIS WOMAN AND SHITTING ON HER IDENTITY. U SAW HER USE ONE HASHTAG ON AN INSTAGRAM PHOTO AND DECIDED IT WAS SO THOROUGHLY UR BUSINESS THAT U WROTE A DAMN ARTICLE ABOUT HOW FAKE SHE IS.

Biphobes really think they’re being slick. Like they really think we can’t see this shit.

The author concludes her friend is being “a huge asshole.” Why? Because she only feel comfortable discussing her queer identity with people she feels safe around and the author doesn’t think she’s in danger. Not only does she think she is allowed to decide what sexuality her friend is permitted to have, she thinks she can magically divine how well her family, friend, coworkers, authority figures would respond to her coming out. Utilising this powers, she concludes her friend is cowardly.

U heard that right. Being in the closet is a “shitty, lazy excuse not to be brave.”

Then she gets on some straight-passing privilege shit which is already bullshit and inherently transphobic and victim blaming but in this case it’s like even flimsier than usual.

I don’t even know where to start on this paragraph. It’s like trying to make a “ur fave is problematic” post for Donald Trump. It’s just overwhelming. People who are in the closet are literally responsible for homophobia? The real reason for bi erasure is bi women not constantly coming out to homophobes? 

And just the fact, just the fact that you would talk about “who is being given the burden of queer liberation” here? You realise studies have again and again found that bi and mga women are the most vulnerable to abuse, rape, health problems, and discrimination within the LGB community? Bisexual ladies are not lounging on pool chairs sipping cocktails and hobnobbing with the cishets while u Toil Thanklessly In The Discourse Mines. The community has problems with some groups doing all the work and other groups reaping the benefits, but its not what ur talking about here. You realise that queer trans women of color have done basically all of the work in the entire history of this movement and that white cis people have reaped the benefits and taken all of the credit, right? Like, that is an actual problem.

How unceasingly magnanimous of you. I was afraid there for a moment, that I would fail to meet ur standards of Who Is And Is Not An Acceptable Queer. Thanks friend, really. That means so fucking much after you spent half an article explicitly shitting on my identity. Please take ur respectability politics elsewhere. I’m not interested in being told I’m “one of the good ones.”

This paragraph is so surreal I feel like I’m reading a series of hastily pasted together dril tweets with randomly inserted discourse buzzwords. No, that’s not true. That’s too unkind. Dril would never tell me to “push at the limits of what straight can be.” Dril would never demand I identify as “heteroflexible.”

The crowning jewel to this is probably the author’s concern that straight folks might be “damaged and insulted” by people identifying as queer.

WON’T SOM1 THINK OF THE HETEROSEUXALS…. THE POOR STRAIGHT FOLKS WHO ARE SO CRUELLY DAMAGED AND INSULTED BY BISEXUALS : (((

This author seems totally oblivious of the fact that she has aligned herself with straight people against queer people. Like, she has proudly taken the cishet side. She has explicitly chosen to defend straightness rather than be associated with icky fake bi girls. And remember, this isn’t a straight woman writing this. The Author identifies as a lesbian. And still hates queer women this much. Amazing.

Anyway so the author encourages queer women to “earn” the right to have their identity in the following ways:

…You… you know it’s still legal to kill a trans woman because she’s trans in the vast majority of the US, right? You do realise racism and transmisogyny is a real problem in our community? That there are homeless queer youth suffering rn? That AIDS still exists? That disabled queer people can’t get married? These things listed aren’t bad things to do, but they are hardly the most important work we have to do. They’re hardly the first priorities. Not to mention “making gayborhoods safer” sounds like it’s gonna involve supporting cops, harming sex workers, and possibly gentrification.

It’s also worth noting that, apparently, the author thinks this is only work that mga women have to do. People who are only attracted to their own gender get automatic VIP passes to queerness, it’s only those disgusting bihets who need to earn their validity through labor. We’re the only ones who have to prove ouselves here.

This is one of the most privileged sentences mine eyes have ever beheld. It is veritably glistening with ignorance.

Anyway, the author finishes up this biphobic screed with a series of reassurances that she is totally not biphobic u guys. She actually dated a bi once. She dated someone who’s dating a bi right now. She thinks if bi women came out more often, her dating life would be more active, and also all biphobia would vanish. But she also wants you to know that unless you are in imminent danger of being physically attacked or are 100% certain you will be ostracized by your family, you HAVE to come out. If you don’t, “fuck you.” 

Also, whatever that is.

This almost mind boggling lack of self awareness is, frankly, almost fascinating. 

This is what biphobes actually believe.

This is what we’re up against.

“Bisexual ladies are not lounging on pool chairs sipping cocktails and hobnobbing with the cishets while u Toil Thanklessly In The Discourse Mines.”

OK SO I WAS AT THE FABRIC STORE AND I WALKED BY SOME MEMORIAL DAY THEMED FABRIC AND 

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

WHY ARE THE ABS SO DETAILED AND NOT THE FACE WHAT

OMFG LINCOLN LOOKS LIKE EDWARD CULLEN WITH A BEARD I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT

I HAVE A DRESS MADE OUT OF THIS FABRIC AND I GOT TO BE IN A PARADE BECAUSE OF IT

This is the Alexander Henry Pin-Up collection - and they are all fucking amazing!

OKAY I WORK IN A FABRIC STORE AND ONE TIME THIS LITTLE OLD LADY CAME UP TO ME AND SLAMMED THE INDEPENDENCE DAY ONE DOWN ON THE COUNTER AND SAID, “THIS. THIS IS WHAT OUR COUNTRY NEEDS.”

I had an older man come into the fabric store that I used to work in and dropped 3 bolts of the firefighter one on my counter and said, “I need this. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with it, but I need it.” a man behind him then yelled, “Pyjamas!” and the first man said, “My husband recommends pyjamas.” 

worst day ever

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM

I love when I wake up with new rights

Now i can get married in every state: solid, liquid, gas, and, most surprisingly, texas