Assassin’s creed au.

I’M CRYING

No he’s right

Waiting for that Rick/Louis final kiss in Casablanca...

sometimes you start reading a fic and immediately you’re like OH this was written by a child. okay. please know that i am proud of you but also i cannot keep reading this

“this kid is in eighth grade, and their teacher just told them that using ‘said’ is bad, so they’re plumbing the depths of the dictionary for every single other dialogue tag that exists - and some that don’t - and I’m proud of them for expanding their vocabulary, but I must depart all the same”

This needs to be like on this post for reals

But hey, remember, no matter how many different words you use for "said," you cannot equal Frances Hodges Burnett in "A Little Princess."

Namely: "Ejaculated."

There are these two mean girls (TM) - Lavinia and Jesse? I think? Anyway, at one point the text is all, "Goodness me," Lavinia ejaculated, "how we can calculate!"

sm0l(but having gone through US 5th grade)! Subtilior:

Anyway. There's a lot of ejaculate flying around those pages, is all I'm saying. Stick with "said."

Just to reiterate that reblog from a while ago about ffnet dying and how one day probably soon we're gonna blink and it'll just be gone:

I'm trying to make backups of the few things I'm not too embarrassed to keep from Way Back When (because I'm also like 4+ computers beyond what I originally wrote that shit on and some of it got lost in data migrations)

And guys

The password recovery is NON FUNCTIONAL.

That site is circling the drain, so if you've got stuff on there you want to keep, go save it now.

This has been a PSA from your local digital archivist/ fandom old.

Sweet Georgia Brown, thanks for the heads-up. I'm going to head over there and see what I should download/export/screencap.

Goals

Hey fellow owners of college degrees that turned out to be useless; I’ve got a career plan for us

those who DO learn history are still doomed to repeat it

This makes me wish I'd gotten my degree in Finland - there, they give you a sword!!

say what you will about twitter but as a barometer for the national mood, sometimes it cannot be beat

yep

Damn straight.

anyway. i think everything is secretly at least one of the following:

(a) a ritual

(b) a resurrection

(c) a haunting

(d) an apotheosis

(e) fate

(f) a labyrinth

(g) a funeral

@olreid is CORRECT

alright i made some really fucked up flowchart concepts. Im still workshopping it

Cool!

OKAY listen up, this is a thread for all my cold friends out there who aren’t used to severe cold. HOW TO LAYER, A GUIDE TO STAYING WARM, USING ONLY CLOTHING YOU PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE, NO FANCY SILK UNDERWEAR OR WHATEVER.

(link provided)(but I’m sure she won’t mind if you donate to whomever you feel like helping, if you are in a position to do so)

(source)

(transcript in read more)

Keep reading

I just also want to add a trick that I showed some people in New City, when I sang an outdoor gig recently.

if you are wearing gloves within mittens, and your fingers are freezing, *pull your fingers out of the individual glove fabric fingers, and roll them into a fist.* Like, your bare fingertips should be squished into your bare palms. Roll your thumb over the 2nd phalange of said fingers. (Nb also good for throwing a punch.)

This really conserves heat! Of course, it doesn't work if you need dexterity for something, but if you're waiting outside for a long time, for whatever reason, it is handy to have in your bag of winter tricks.

Signed, Midwest US raised, with three brands of school cancellations in winter: ice day (bc tree branches came down on power lines), snow day (bc roads got too slippery even for snow tires), and cold day (bc it got so cold that you couldn't wait for the bus outside, no matter how intensely you were mummified.)

HOW?? How they just let this happen??? this is a government building and these people just walked in... no one threw tear gas or shot rubber bullets at them scaling the wall like world war z but let black people organize and then you gotta gas them this is satire at this point

RIGHT??!

ETA: though to be fair, you CAN just walk in to the US capitol buildings, after - uh. a security check. and metal detectors - right? and COVID measures/ temperature checks, maybe, these days. And ...

... Yeah. What they said.

police literally dragged disabled protestors out of the capitol when they were doing a sit-in for healthcare and teargassed + shot blm protestors marching for human rights but try to deescalate and take selfies w armed insurrectionists and people still want to act like the police don’t exist specifically to enforce oppressive systems

And what gets me also is:

[nb thinking this through, for dropping it on Trump-loving Relatives (TM) tomorrow]

Two possibilities:

1) The massive amount of money the US pours into its national security apparatus (and the amount of money the US taxpayer proportionally contributes) is useless against a domestic terrorist attack (communicated in advance on various social media) - when said attack takes place on and in the legislative buildings of the US capital (or, in short, the US Capitol).

or

2) Police officers take selfies with seditionists in the US capitol halls, help seditionists step down the US capitol steps, and ask seditionists to leave the US capitol premises, and nothing more - if.

If: the people in question? Are white. Of course white. You didn’t see rubber bullets or teargas, did you. Of course you didn’t.

Congratulations, Auntie. You got a Confederate flag* in the US capitol! It took 150-55 years, but you finally got it.

*nb yeah, they got statues of Confederate leaders in the US capitol, but they Really (TM) Loved (TM) America (TM) Somehow? Bullshit. Here’s hoping all the statues get dragged out, finally,and Trump gets 25th’d before 24 hours is up. I’m hoping, not believing - just wishing.

Excuse me?! I am going to need a full version of this shanty from these two IMMEDIATELY.

*UNHOLY SHRIEKING* Seriously it’s like if Darth Vader sang, plus a SEA SHANTY, this is absolutely amazeballs, listen to it!

Here, have a soprano voice added:

Here’s a version of the full song without TikTok’s time limit, courtesy of the Longest Johns:

And here are the Longest Johns, singing while playing “Sea of Thieves” !! Start at the :50 mark!